Saturday, October 31, 2009

Halloween and God's AMAZING Love*

OK forewarning....this WILL be a long post, but if you can stick with it and read it all I think you won't be disappointed!

So Friday was Carson's Halloween party at school! They let him come in his costume and they had lots of goodies for all the kids. Then they made sure to take his costume off after the party so it wouldn't get dirty! I took some cute pictures and it seems like he had a BALL! Here are the pictures!

Well today was actually Halloween, and I was soo soo soo excited to dress the boys up! Our plans were to take them to the BIG festival at First Baptist church, and then maybe come back to our house and do some trick-or-treating in our neighborhood...that was OUR plan, but certainly NOT God's....let me explain! Recently, two different families have moved onto our street. One family is a single mom raising two daughters and a son. The daughters are 12 and 13 and the son is either 6 or 7. The mom works what seems to be all the time to obviously take care of her children and I don't think the dad is around or maybe doesn't live here.Anyways, The little boy frequently is just outside by himself, and so my husband being the BIG kid that he is, sometimes will invite him(and all the OTHER neighborhood kids) over to play with the boys in our yard. Carson really enjoys the company and he will say "Mommy, I like to play with my friends!" Well today alot of the neighborhood kids were out playing, and Derek took the boys our for a while to join them. I walked out and started asking some of the kids what they would be dressing up as for Halloween? All the kids were excited and saying they were going to be this, or that, and the little boy of the single mom, who we will just call "V", said he was going to be a football player. I told all the kids their costumes sounded great, and rounded my Godwin boys up so we could all get ready to leave. Derek told me when we came inside that he really didn't feel like going to First Baptists festival, and would be alot happier just trick-or-treating in our neighborhood. I told him that was ok with me too, so we got ready and headed outside to get the festivities underway. When we walked out, V was sitting in our yard. He looked very sad, and so we asked him what was wrong. He said, "The truth is, I don't have a Halloween costume, I have never even been trick or treating before." He said, " My mom is at work and she won't be able to take me this year either" My heart just about broke seeing how bad he was feeling. Derek and I just looked at each other and without saying a word we both made the decision RIGHT THEN that we would take him with us if his mom would allow it. So I said,"Well its ok if you don't have a costume, I have a trick or treat bag you can use and if your mom says its ok we would love you to ride around the neighborhood with us" The little boys face just lit up and you could tell it made his day. Then he said" Well I can just pretend to be a football player!" (Yea I know...pretty heart wrenching right?) So I went inside to get Carson's old Halloween bag from last year and as I went in his closet to find it, there sat a Halloween costume...the exact size for a 6 or 7 year old that Derek's sister had given us for Carson to play Dress up in. It was an incredible hulk suite, and it was JUST perfect for our little friend V. I almost burst in to tears right then, because I knew God had orchestrated this whole thing, nothing was a coincidence and we were about to do something for this little boy that would probably make his whole day. As I walked outside and showed him his new costume..he smiled so big and said, "Wow, I'd love to wear that one!" I then walked with him to his house and asked his sister if she could call his mom for us so we could ask her, and hesitantly his mom agreed. She had already met us once before, but as a mom myself I can totally understand how strange it must be to let your child go off with strangers. I left her with my number though and she said she was thankful for our kindness because she felt really bad that he was otherwise going to be unable to do anything but sit at home. He had a great time and we were so happy to be able to do something so small to us but so HUGE to him. God is so amazing and good and he showed his love to this little boy through us....AMAZZZZING! Here are some pictures from our night. We ended up driving around several neighborhood children and we really had a BLAST! Hope everyone else had a great night too...ENJOY the pics! :-)
*Carson and V*

*All three boys*

*Going to get some treats*

*Cam is bumming a ride*

*Carson and some of his "friends"*

*Yep, it was a fun night for this little man*

Saturday, October 24, 2009

The way I see it, you have TWO choices!

So, I am sure all of us have been in a situation where you have two choices. Choice one is to scream in anger and have a total melt down, and choice two is to just laugh! Last night was one of those times. Usually, Derek and I share bath duty. One of us baths the boys, and the other dries them and gets them dressed! Last night I bathed and Derek dressed. He got Camden out first, lotioned him up(his skin stays SO dry) and got his little jammies on. Then it was Carson's turn. As Derek went to lay Carson on the floor and put his clothes on, I heard him say, "CAM NOOOOOOOOO!" Derek then yelled for me to get Camden and before I could even ask WHY I saw Camden racing back towards the bathroom. I took off in hopes that I could catch him but I was too late! Camden dove back into the tub, diaper, clothes and ALL! I could of done one of two things....part of me WANTED to SCREAM and be mad at him....but I had to just laugh...I mean how could you not laugh? So as you probably guessed, I grabbed my camera and snapped a few pics. I figured this was something I'd want to remember and share with him when he is older!

Today we had a family cleaning day! I was so thankful that Derek helped me and we got lots accomplished! With everything that has been going on lately, I haven't exactly had a lot of time to clean the house, but I knew it was starting to get out of hand. Then when Derek offered to help me get things back in order, I didn't turn it down! This afternoon though I got to travel to one of my favorite places...*TARGET* and get Carson a few pairs of pants! I have to say I wasn't totally impressed with their selection and probably could of found some better deals at Kohls, but that boys were sort of cranky so I decided I would get two cute pairs I found at Target and maybe save Kohls for another day. I cannot believe how grown up Carson seems! Its hard to even believe that in less than 3 months he will be 3 years old! Has it really been three years since I held that sweet baby in my arms for the first time? I guess it has!
Looking at those pictures, he isn't such a baby anymore though is he? Speaking of things creaping up SUPER FAST, isn't it CRAZY how fast Christmas is approaching? I feel like all the sudden it just hit me and I better get some shopping started! I really am not sure what I am getting the boys this year, but I guess its time to start getting some ideas. I absolutely LOVE this time of year! :-)

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

On a different note

Well since I wrote such a gloomy, whiney, negative post yesterday...I thought I needed to write something upbeat and positive...maybe even funny! Although, I totally felt all that I wrote yesterday..I know that feeling down and overwhelmed will get me NO WHERE and I must just over come obstacles thrown into my way and be proactive in my life!!!

Anyways..on a different note...yesterday Camden and I went out to get some stuff we desperately needed for our house. It amazes me how fast things dissapear around here. I feel like I have some little mice that wake up in the middle of the night and eat our food because, usually in one week I am out of EVERYTHING!!! So it was off to the store we went..and I must say, Mr. Camden was looking MIGHTY handsome if I do say so myself! I could just EAT HIM UP he is soo cute!
*on a side may seem to notice our *OLD FRIEND* Mr. Red, Scaly cheeks is starting to rear his UGLY head again...ughhh....the first SIGN of cold weather and of course he had to make an appearance....I was praying we were through with him..but it looks like I was mistaken! yes it was off to the grocery store we went....I tried to go around 11 because I knew Camden would need a nap about 1, and I wanted to get my shopping done early enough that I could work on homework while he I zoomed around the store, making sure I got everything on my list. I noticed though that Camden was very matter what I did he just wasn't happy....I soon realized why!!!! As I am browsing through the produce, I look down only to find Yes a sleeping little bear!! Of course the one day I FORGET my shopping cart cover, he lays his sweet head on the germy cart! *Don't worry I wiped it well with antibacterial wipes!* Isn't it the most precious sight you ever saw though? Althought I can't *germaphobe* alter ego was screaming...."NOOOOOOO, remove that child from that cart at once!" I just couldn't bare to disturb his sweet little self. The remander of my shopping trip I had just about every old lady walking by and "Awwwwwinnnng" the sleeping baby bear in my cart!
And can you blame them?? He is just about the cutest thing I have ever seen!!!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

WARNING: You may not want to read this

Just being completely honest here but you MAY want to NOT read this. I say that because this will not be some happy post about the kids, or life. After all this IS my blog and I am entitled to post about what I want, and today I want to complain and whine and let everything out that I am feeling. I try to be an upbeat person and for the most part I am, but everyone has the breaking points and I have reached mine. Since writing is a great release for me..that is exactly what I intend to do here....

I am not even sure where to start, lets just make it easy and start with the stroke. As everyone is well aware, a little over a month ago Derek's dad had a stroke. To us, it was upsetting to say the least, but with having known the man had over come Lung cancer not once but TWICE, it wasn't the worst we had ever been shaking by in this family. We over came the stroke and stood strong as a family. The Godwin's are great about coming together and being a united front no matter what comes. Recently, Derek's dad has started having trouble breathing. He could be sitting and doing NOTHING and just be very short of breath. All of us knew this was nothing to take lightly so Saturday Derek urged his dad to go to the hospital. At 5 a.m Sunday morning Tina(Derek's sister) came and got us up and let us know that once again Derek's dad was at the hospital and they had found lots of fluid on his lungs. When I say ON his lungs that doesn't mean means ON so basically his lung was being compressed with fluid(hence the shortness of breath) This is the same thing that happened the previous TWO times he was diagnosed with Cancer, but we are standing strong once again as a family and declaring in Jesus name that this time that just ISN'T the case!

I just feel so overwhelmed right now. I feel selfish for even saying it..but its the truth...This last month has just been a landslide and I feel like I am no longer able to just hold it together. Its not just whats going on with Derrek's dad its EVERYTHING! My daddy is having major back surgery tomorrow..and I have to be at at school during the time he will be in surgery. I can't get out of me I have thought of all the ways. Unfortunately, I have a major test I can't miss and also my school is NOT very sympathetic about missing days. Two days absent you are OUT of that class...NO exceptions. Soo, my anxiety is obviously up about that as well. Also, Derek's mom is Camden's care taker while I am at school. I hope this doesn't even SLIGHTLY sound ungrateful..because that is not how I mean it at all, but obviously she can't watch him in the circumstances of what is going on right now. I wouldn't expect or LET her watch him at the hospital.... I think Camden is actually READY to go to Carson's school..but with ONE income..we can't possibly afford another $400 on top of everything for him to be in Daycare. Our plan is to have him start in January(when I am doing my actual NURSING classes) and then I will have some help from the school with his daycare, but NOW is really the time he needs to be there. So that leaves me with, "What to do with my Cam while I have class" I know lots of people would probably OFFER to watch him, and again I don't want to sound ungrateful. I am thankful for the offers, but at the same time I am his mommy and I have to consider his well being. Not that ANYONE would hurt him but I am nervous about leaving him with someone he hasn't stayed with before. The people whom I DO know and trust to watch him have their own things going on(work, school...ect.) so I wouldn't even dream of inconvienancing anyone else. If I knew that I could do it and not feel guilty or look back and wish I hadn't, then honestly I think I would DROP my micro bio class this quarter! I just feel with all that is going on that I am not devoting the time I want to in actually doing well in the class. I just have to make it another 6 weeks or so and school will be DONE until Jan.... Also did I mention we just have ONE income...well oh yea...let me throw that in...Life on ONE income isn't easy. Yes we make it, yes we aren't starving, yes we have a roof over our heads but that doesn't make it any easier! I am so thankful for Derek he works SOOO hard to support this family and I know he does it with out one bit of bitterness! He fully supports and encourages me finishing school but that doesn't make me feel any less guilty about not helping to provide! .....Ok so you know I think I could go on and on because I have ALOT eating at me right now...but I won't...I will end this here..if you DID read this...SORRY you have to listen to me...well lets just be BLUNT here..BITCH and complain..but today is just one of those days and I needed to let this all out. I have given it all to God. I know that he is hearing my every prayer and he knows just how to take care of it. I fully understand that I alone can't carry all these burdens but he ALONE can help set me free! So Lord..I'm trusting in you and knowing that all things will work out....Oh ya and it also helps that my husband is my voice of reason and always assures me that I am too stressed over nothing! Thank GOD for him! :-)

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

A whole lot of nothing

Well I almost feel like I have nothing to blog about, but somewhat feel like I should blog about something because I haven't blogged in over a week!...hmm..soo what to say...

Well first off no more upset tummies in this house! YAY!!!! After three whole weeks, and some pretty yucky diapers I am pleased to announce everything is back to "normal" haha!

Ohhh something else SUPER exciting(probably WAYY more for me than you lol) is that the boys harvest day(or Halloween whichever you prefer or call it) costumes came in and they are SOOOOO cute! I honestly want them just to wear them on a daily basis, because seeing them dressed up in those furry little bear costumes make my heart pitter patter!! :-) Unfortunately for you all, I am going to have to save the big pictures and cuteness for a few more weeks!! Patience is a virtue and trust me I am talking alot more about my patience than yours..I would love nothing more than to post all the cute pictures I have taken thus far of the boys all dressed up but I am practicing patience and going to try and hold off until HARVEST DAY! :-)

Did you know that Carson and Camden are twins????? Well not really, but you would not BELIEVE how many times I get asked on a daily basis. I can see why and although they don't look exactly the same and aren't quite the same size they do strongly resemble! In fact, lately I have realized that I do not treat Camden like a 15 month old at all. To me, he is every bit two years old and I find myself questioning is that right or wrong? I mean he does most things that Carson can do, and although Carson can talk alot better and understands things WAYYYY better, Camden just seems like he is Carson's age. I try and remind myself that Camden is STILL a baby and that maybe I should try and treat him his age, but then I see him and his brother jumping on Carson's bed, or playing on their riding trucks, or climbing on the couch, and I know that he isn't really a baby anymore is he? Yep, there are the twins!!!

Well I guess I better get myself and this little bear ready for school!!! Happy Tuesday Everyone!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Doodle and Little Bear...well maybe

Although I cannot compare what it is like between parenting a girl and parenting a boy, I do know that being a mom to a boy means ALOT of things......

For instance being a mom to a boy mean you have to accept the fact that they are inevitably going to climb any and everything and try to jump off!!! They will fall face first millions of times, jump off couches, tables or just about anything that will get a reaction out of their mommyand/or innocent company lol!

I cannot count the GASPS I have heard as my children are tumbeling from high in the air, and the crazy looks I get when I barely flinch. When Carson was a baby I used to jump whenver he stumbled, but after MANY bumps and bruises I have learned what really calls for me to run over and pick them up and what mearly is just another day in the life of a mommy to boys!

Here is the proof:

Being a mommy to little boys is so fun, exciting, and never dull! I absolutely LOVE it! Although I am sure I would love a little girl, I have come to the conclusion that if I only have little boys that I will be perfectly ok with that!

Since Carson has been born I have called him Doodle. I don't know how it came to be, but one day he was just my Carson Doodle and it stuck. When Camden was about 3 months old I starting calling him my Little Bear. I guess his mannerisms reminded me of a baby bear cub and so Little Bear it was. He growled like a little cub, would only sleep in VERY dark areas(see he even hibernated like a bear) and had the appetite of a hungry baby bear! Recently, I was calling Carson "Doodle" and he looked up at me and said, " Mommy I not want to be your "Oodle"(as he says it), I want to be your wittle bear and go RAWWWWWWW!" Haha I couldn't help but laugh...I tried to explain to him that he will always be my Carson doodle and that I cannot just change that and he wasn't too happy with my answer. In hopes that he would agree I offered a compromise and said he could be my "Doodle Bear" and although he is still kind of skeptical, he agreed!

I know some people do not celebrate Halloween. We don't "Celebrate" it per sue but we do let our kids dress up and decided that we wouldn't stop them from doing that as long as they didn't try and dress up as an evil figure. No bloody vampires, Goblins, Devils, well you get the picture! We will instill in them that we will celebrate the day as just a harvest day but still let them go around and get candy and be able to wear a fun costume. I want the boys to be cute things that go together. Last year Camden was a cowboy and Carson was his pony. This year I wasn't able to come up with something as clever and although I thought about it for probably HOURS I have not come up with a good "Pair". In honor of Carson wanting to be my other "Little Bear" I decided that is exactly what they will be! I will dress them as my baby cubs! I found the cutest costumes for them on EBAY and can hardly wait to get them all dressed up!!! If you let your kids dress up...what will they be this year????

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Acts of Love and Kindness

Recently, I was chatting with my mom about her women's group at church. My mom lives in Virginia Beach, Va and goes to a HUGE and what sounds like AMAZING church up there. On Wednesday mornings she goes to a group called Wave Women. She shared with my a little about last weeks message and it just struck a cord in my heart! It was so inspiring and touching that I wanted to share it with all of you because it can be applied to just about any and every situation in life. Some of you will read this and be immediately touched, know that God had me blog this just for you today, while others won't feel the impact of this blog for weeks possibly. Either way, I feel it is well worth sharing.

The name of the message was LOVE IN ACTION

The gist of all this is to actually show love(God's love) with your actions, but there are three things you must obey and accept while doing this

1.) You must stay close to God
2.) Prepare yourself to be inconvenienced
3.) Understand that it may cost you

Some of you might be thinking well.... what does that MEAN? well let me just give you a short interpretation(my own) and maybe it will become clearer. Ok I am pretty sure we all understand what "staying close to God means" but what about preparing yourself to be inconvenienced?

Ok, lets say you have a fun night all planned out and it entails you going out to dinner with some friends! As you are walking out the door you get a call from another friend whom you haven't spoken with in a while. She/he tells you they are stranded on the side of the road, and ask you to please come help them. This friend tells you they have called everyone they could think of and you are their last resort. Even though you know this will inconvenience you, and alter your plans you go and help anyway...that is STEP 2-preparing yourself to be inconvenienced. You get there, help your friend get back on their way(maybe they needed gas, a ride, or had a flat tire) and by the time this is all done your other friends have already went out and had fun without you. That is step 3- Understanding that it may cost you!

That right there is love in action. Sometimes, actually MOST of the time we are called to do things in life that we DON'T necessarily want to do. It can be a true hassle, an inconvenience, it can totally disrupt our plans, but that is exactly what God's love in action is. God is working through us all the time using our ACTIONS to spread his LOVE. Keep this in mind today when you are called to do something that you really don't WANT to do...ask yourself is this God trying to spread his love through your actions?

Have a blessed day everyone!