A Mommy On A Mission

So much to say...but So little time!

2011-01-30T06:40:00.000-08:00

Hello all,

Well I have been a pretty bad blogger lately. I said I was going to pick up on blogging again, but I haven't been doing a very good job of that now have I? It's not that I am lacking things to talk about, or picture to share, but more due to the fact that I am working alot, and when I am NOT working I still have two very active little boys to take care of. Most nights, by the time I am relaxed and comfy in my bed, I am just too worn out to even use the little bit of energy it takes to type a blog. Today though, seeing as how I had a little while before I have to head off to work, I decided I would try and put something together.

Well where to start....Carson turned FOUR a few weeks ago, and although I should be used to the fact that every year your child gets a little older, I can't grasp that four years has really flown by since that first day I held him in my arms. He has changed and grown so much in these last four years, and although he has his moments,(what kid doesn't) I am truly proud of the little guy he has grown into. He has the sweetest, most sensitive side that I just adore. He loves to tell you how much he loves you, and won't go anywhere(bed, school...YOU get the picture) without giving mommy and daddy a kiss and a hug. I LOVE that about him. On the other hand, I love how "mature" he is too. When Derek has to work out of town, Carson becomes the little man of the house. For example, we are in the process of potty training with Camden, and when Cam has an accident, Carson will say, "Camden you don't go potty in your pullup, you are a BIG boy now, and that is just YUCK!" ....He tries to be my little "reinforcer" Sometimes though I have to bring him back down to reality though and remind him that I am the mommy, and although I appriciate his help, I don't really need it~ :-)

Camden is growing like crazy too, and even though they have over a year between them, they are SO much more like twins. Camden can do just about all the things that Carson can, and talks just as well. Sometimes it's beneficial that they are so similar, and sometimes it's chaos. Mostly because, they tend to get each other in trouble. One will egg on the other to do something, and next thing I know, they are both double teaming me and doing something they know they shouldn't be. I am sure you can see how this would be a problem lol. Never the less, I love every minuite of it. I am glad they get along so well and have so much they can do together. They always have a friend in each other, and although they have their little spats, for the most part they truly are BEST BUDS. Camden is my sweetie pie. He LOVES to be held still and rocked. Some nights he will just come find me and say, "Mommy I want to rock rock"(Translation: He wants me to come sit with him in the recliner and rock him) I am so glad that at 2 and 1/2 years old he STILL has the need for his mommy to snuggle and rock with him. I don't see how that could ever get old. He is also acceptionally tough for his age. I guess that comes with the territory of being the little brother. He really doesn't take much off of anybody and if another child pushes him or hits him, he doesn't run off crying, instead he is ready to keep going. I am thankful he is able to play with other children without crying everytime he gets hurt, but at the same time I have to remind him he can't wrestle and play around with them like he does with Carson...So sometimes that can be a problem! :-)

We found out a little over a week ago now that we are having ANOTHER BOY! I am not sad in the least, but had I had money going, I'd be BROKE right now because I would have bet it all that this was going to be a girl. Everything about this pregnancy is different and everytime I turned around, I had someone telling me "YEP, that is exactly how the pregnancy I had with my daughter was!" So I am sure you can see the shock on my face when the ultrasound tech. announced that we were expecting another son. I never felt dissapointed or upset, instead I was elated as I watched her scan over my belly and watched this new little GUY moving and rubbing his little face. I never cease to be amazed at how precious they are, even in utero. After I got my mind readjusted to the fact that it was yet again in BOY mode, I started thinking and discussing names with Derek, and I think we have agreed that we will name him Cade(that awas Derek's pick) Tucker(My pick) Godwin, but we will call him Tucker. I loved that name from the time I found out I was pregnant with Carson and it took me three pregnancies to get Derek to agree to it. So Tucker it is, and I am super excited. My mom brought up the fact that I may see him and decide he looks like more of a Cade, and that is ok too. I guess we will call him whatever feels right!

Other than that, Life is going good. I am spending alot of time working, which I really do love. It keeps me busy and I really do enjoy my job. I get along well with all my co-workers and I have fun working. They have also been ACCEPTIONALLY understanding with all the pregnancy stuff I have had going on, and how sick I have been this time around. I am THANKFUL to have such a job....

Well I guess that is it for now! Hope everyone has has a wonderful weekend, and I promise more updates soon!

the BLUR of the last few days!

2011-01-01T05:45:00.000-08:00

So I am trying to sit down and make since of the last week or so. I guess I should start at the beginning(Monday). It started out normal enough. I had to work, so I woke up, got ready and then of course the waves of nausea set it. I took my medicine and pushed through it, ready to get to work and get through the day. Around lunch, I started having some noticeably bad pain in my right side. I ignored it for a while, chalking it up to something stretching, or maybe the baby was putting weight on a nerve or something. By 3:30 p.m. I was pretty much way past the though of just your "regular" pregnancy aches, and knew something wasn't right. The pain was sharp, stabbing, and relentless. I finally broke down and called the Dr., halfway thinking maybe I was just being a big baby and nothing was wrong, but of course they told me exactly what I knew they probably would, "GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM"I was getting off work in about 2 hours, so I wanted to wait until my shift was over instead of leaving. I worked through the pain until about 5 p.m, when I called my mom and told her what was going on. She didn't feel comfortable letting me drive myself, so she came and picked me up and it was off the ER we went.

The Emergency room was a mad house. I don't think I have ever seen it so packed. There were people who said they'd been waiting since 1p.m. that day and it was now after 6. I knew we would be in for a long night. Luckily we didn't wait very long. The fact that I was pregnant and in lots of pain, pushed me ahead of many patients. They got us back into a room and the torture began. They did a pelvic, put in a catheter, did a ultrasound, poked, prodded, and finally about 2 a.m. the Dr. came in and told me I was going to have to do a CT. I was very uneasy with this decision. I told him I really wasn't comfortable, and I heard it wasn't good for the baby. He assured me it would be fine and sent me back. The radiologist was extremely sweet. She sat me down and asked me if I knew the risks of what I was about to do. I told her that I knew it wasn't healthy for the baby, but I didn't know exactly what I was risking, and that is when the true fear set in. The Radiologist explained that I would be putting my baby in direct radiation. Anything from birth defects, to spontaneous abortion(my body ridding itself of the baby). I immediately started crying. How could I make a decision like this? I asked the Radiologist to get my mom and of course she did without hesitation. When my mom came back, I was still crying and it was hard for me to get the words out of what I was trying to say. The radiologist did most of the explaining and I simply just asked my mom what she though I should do. My mom held my hand and told me this isn't a decision she could make for me. As bad as I could see in her eyes that she wanted to take it all away, I knew she was right, I had to make the choice. After sitting there a few moments I decided I just couldn't go through with it, so the radiologist took me back to the room and the Dr. came back in explaining that since I didn't do the Ct. there was really nothing else he could do. He told me to call my Dr's office first thing when I woke up and figure out a plan with them. I agreed and had to sign myself out of the hospital against medical advice since I refused to take the test. By the time we arrived home it was after 3 and we were both exhausted. I don't even remember changing my clothes, I just remember falling into bed and not waking up for several hours.

I woke up early the next morning to the sound of my phone ringing. It was only 8a.m but it was my doctors office, so I knew I need to get up and answer. The nurse said she was calling to check on me after last night, and I filled her in on the serious of events that had transpired the night before. I told her that I refused to do the Ct, and the only way I would agree to do it is if MY Dr's at the shaw center felt it was safe for the baby and truly necessary. I also told her I was still in alot of pain and I knew something wasn't right. She told me she was going to consult with them and call me back. I fell back asleep, but not for long. The phone was ringing again, it was my Dr's office, and they wanted me to go through with the ct. They told me I needed to come into the office, let them check the baby and my vitals and then they would send me over to radiology. I wasn't Happy about it, but I needed to know what was wrong with me, and all the dr's concurred this was the next step. Basically I spent the next day with the Dr's and the radiology team. Again, the radiologist made me sit and listen to all the risks I was taking with my baby, and again I cried feeling soo torn between getting better, and possibly harming my baby. Finally, a nice male radiologist came to talk to me. He was very calm, and his voice was soothing. He explained to me the risk I was taking by NOT doing the Ct. What if my appendix was the problem and it burst? He told me then I'd be risking mine and my babies life. He also assured me that if i was his wife, or daughter he would feel comfortable with me going through with the scan. I still wasn't 100% satisfied, but the truth is, nothing they said would make me feel GOOD about the decision, so I decided to do the CT, just praying it would be for the good of the entire situation and give us all some answers. After the test concluded I was basically sent home to wait. Waiting is NOT easy for me, I am probably one of the least patient people you will ever meet, but I waited and it wasn't until the next day that I actually got some answers. I had an appt. with my midwife and we sat down to discuss the results. She assured my from the scan, my appendix looked fine, as well as my liver and gallbladder, but my kidneys and ureters were in question. She had consulted with antoher Dr. at her office and they both came to the conclusion that I had a "kink" in my right ureter which was causing the horrible pain and really needed to be resolved. Her idea was to admit me to the hospital, let them fill me with fluids and pain meds for a few days and see if I wasn't feeling better. Her plan was to try and "straighten" the kink out. I know she could see the reservation in my eyes, because she then said she would give me one other choice. She explained that she would let me try and push the fluids on my own, at home, but I would only have until lunch the following day to do it. I agreed happily, thinking I could def. fix myself better at home, and promising her to follow strictly on her instructions. So home it was, My mom was here, so that was a huge help, She forced me to drink everything 30 mins and was really pushing me hard to keep the water down. The next morning I woke up and to my disappointment I still felt awful. Mom encouraged me to go ahead and call my midwife, and I did, and of course she told me exactly what I knew she would, "You are going to have to come in and be admitted"....At this point I just wanted to feel better, So if going into the hospital for a few days would do the trick, I was ready to jump on board. Unfortunately, as I was getting things ready to leave, I got extremely sick. I couldn't hold a single thing down, and I spent majority of the morning with my head in the toilet. I knew then it was def. time to get to the hospital because things were def. getting worse and not any better. I arrived around lunch time, and they already had a room all ready to go for me. The immediately hooked me up to fluids, medicine for the nausea, and something for pain. My midwife came in, and checked me out. She told me she was going to have the urologist come and consult with me and we would go from there. The urologist didn't arrive until about 7 that evening. From the moment he walked in, I sensed aggravation in his voice. He asked me several question and then did an "inspection" of my pain and body. Without much else being said, he told me he wanted to watch me for a few days and we'd make a decision from there. I just tried to relax and make the rest of the night as quiet and uneventful as possible. I slept fairly decent and the next morning I was awoken bright and early by a nice nurse who was there to take my vitals. She informed me that the Dr. would be around soon to do his morning consults. It wasn't long after she left, that just like she promised, the Dr. arrived. By this time the cafeteria had sent up my breakfast and I was nibbling at some bread when he walked in. His first words out of his mouth, "Well you must not be too sick if you are eating" I know confusion must have set in all over my face. What was that supposed to mean? If they DIDN'T want me to eat, then why did they order me food? I just ignored the comment and let him go about talking. His next comment was something to do with, "well I don't think you have a "Stone", because if you did, you wouldn't be able to eat anything!" ....I looked up at him, very confused, and then I said, "I never thought I DID have a stone"...He just ignored me...going about his inspection. Without really another word to me, He got his stuff together and said, "I Am going to consult with your Dr's but I don't think you have a stone and I don't know what else to do for you!" And that was that. I looked over at Derek who had stayed the night with me, and we were both very confused. I figured I'd just wait until my NORMAL Dr. came around and find out the scoop from them. Unfortunately, I didn't get that chance. Next thing I knew, The nurse was coming in with my discharge papers, saying this NOT so nice Dr. who I barely even knew was sending me home. WHAT??? All this and they are just sending me home? I was honestly in shock, steaming mad, and in shock! Don't get me wrong, I didn't want to be in the hospital, I'd much rather be at home, but I did want to know what was wrong with me. It was almost as if this crazy doctor was looking at someone Else's chart, a STONE? Who ever even mentioned a stone? So it was off to the house I went, and it's here I have been ever since. I still feel pretty awful, I am debating my options. I know I could go to another hospital. I am not against it, but it's just hard going to a place where you know NO ONE and your family isn't there. So I guess today I will have to make a decision. Let it go and just see if things get better on their own, or go to a hospital I am not familiar with and know no one at? Tough call...........

I'm just a passenger

2010-12-13T04:18:00.000-08:00

Never thought I would hear myself say that, but it's true. I am just a passenger in my own body. Day to day, I never really know what to expect with it or what kind of "ride" I may be in for. Most days I feel like we are on a very curvy, sharp turned, crazy road that keeps me feeling queasy with every movement, and has me wondering what is next to come. Occasionally, I get a day in which I feel like we are traveling down a nice, quiet, dirt road, but those days are pretty few and far between. Reguardless, this is just a whole new ballgame for me and I am truly truly truly sympathizing with all you mama's out there who have been exactly where I am at right now. I know every pregnancy is different, but I guess when you go from having two, nearly perfect pregnancies, with very few sick days, no real complaints, and never really feeling "too bad", to THIS time around, feeling awful 90% of time, its a hard change to get used too. Thankfully I have made it through the 1st trimester though and with over 12 weeks under my belt, I am hoping I can at least experience some(even if only slight) relief from here. I'm hoping the next few weeks will keep me so busy, I can forget how bad I feel and actually enjoy the family/holiday time.

Aside from pregnancy stuff, life is going great. I truly am enjoying my new job with Alltel. I love the work I am doing and the people I work with. I am so lucky to have been blessed with this oppourtunity, and although it didn't all go as planned, I am hoping I am able to make alltel feel they are lucky to have me too!

The boys are doing great. I can't believe in a little over a month I will be a mommy to a 4 year old? It just goes to show you how fast it all goes by. I can remember so perfectly bringing him home from the hospital, and how tiny and sweet he was. He is still sweet, don't get me wrong...he is just NOT so tiny anymore. He has turned into such a little boy now, and somedays I feel like he is much older than he really is!

Camden is quite the little man himself. Having such a great older brother is definantly a blessing to him. He picks up so much from Carson, and they have a bond unlike any other. They have both finally reached the age now where they will just go off into their room and get engaged into cute little makebelieve games together. I absolutely love that they are able to occupy themselves without me having to always keep them busy. Although, I can't lie, SOMETIMES those two little minds get in trouble together. Haha have been several occasions that they have obviously conspired to start some trouble together(like just yesterday when they decided to sneak the syrup bottle into Carson's room and I caught them both eating it out of cups with spoons!:-)

Well it's off to work. I promise the next post will be a little more exciting, and def. have some pictures to liven it up!

You'd think I'd be used to this.....

2010-11-16T13:36:00.000-08:00

This isn't my first rodeo. I mean, I have done this whole pregnancy thing two times already, and I have parented two, wild, healthy children, but suddenly I feel like this is the first time all over again and I am starting from scratch. Everything about this pregnancy is different than I have ever experienced before. I am sicker than I have ever been in my life, my boobs hurt all the time(it even hurts to take a shower!!!) and my hormones are extremely out of control. When I say that though, most people are probably thinking I am laughing hysterically one minuite and crying the next, but thats not the case. They seem to be out of control in other ways, I'm somewhat moody and snappy and not really emotional crying wise what so ever. This is DEFINANTLY something I am having to get used too and I am trying my hardest to keep it all undercontrol because the last thing I want to do is bite someone's head off for no real reason. I am sure I am really not THAT big, but I already have a little bump, and althought I know you show earlier and earlier with each pregnancy, I already feel huge!!

This past Tuesday we had an ultrasound to give us a more accurate due date and to make sure this little jelly bean was growing like they should be. When I got there the last gooped up the ultrasound wand and preceeded to rub it over my belly, I was slightly distured when nothing appeared on the screen, I mean after all I knew I was over 8 weeks and the fact that I was seeing no fetus was quite unsettling. She decided to do the "OTHER" ultrasound and as soon as she was in....BAM there popped up a nice, growing, 8 week and 1 day old fetus with a nice bounding 161 bpm heart. It appears my uterus is completely tilted backwards and so that makes things a little more difficult to see on a normal ultrasound. The tech said everything looked perfectly normal though, babies heart was beating beautifully and based on the measurements we are due June 27th 2011. I think things really registered then. There is just something magical about seeing/hearing that beating heart for the first time that really makes it all real. She scheduled us another ultrasound for the 25th of January to determine the sex...Super excited for that one!

We had our family pictures done this past weekend by my favorite photographer Carrie Reed, and I am super excited to see how they all turned out! She gave us a small sneak peak(although I think it teased me more than anything lol) and I am thinking they turned out pretty great! The boys were fairly cooperative and I think we may have gotten some really good shoots as a family! :-) Carrie always does amazing work, so no doubt that our sessiong will be anything short of that!!!

Well..off here for now! Hope everyone has a great week and more updates to come soon!

Back to Blogging

2010-11-08T07:39:00.000-08:00

Well, I guess it's no secret that I have been MIA from the blog world for many months now. Life was has been so crazy over the last few months that I kind of put this on the back burner. Over the last few weeks though I have REALLY missed it, and I decided I was going to jump back on the bandwagon. I debated weather I should make this first blog in so long about what we've been doing over the months I have been away, or just jump right into where we are now, and I decided I think rehashing past months seems silly, and I want to just pick up where life has taken us at the moment.

Well as most of you know, I am on a vacation from school. I say vacation because I do plan to eventually go back, but I am not sure when "eventually" will be. I recently got offered a pretty amazing oppourtunity to work with a company called Alltel Wireless, and there is no doubt in my mind that this all happened for a reason. You see, I wasn't looking for a job. I had all intentions of just finishing up my degree, becoming a nurse, and that would be that. Unfortunantly, life doesn't always go exactly how we planned,and I had some setback with school, and the future became kind of blurry. Then, I was turned on to a great job oppourtunity, with great pay, full benefits, and it was something I knew I'd be great at. After much prayer, and lots of thought, I decided to take the job. Soon after I decided to take the job, I found the vehicle I had wanted for a very LONG time. It was a black honda pilot, third row seating, loaded with an ent. system, leather seats...EVERYTHING!!! It was like it was just sitting there, WAITING for me. I couldn't pas it up, and at the price I talked them down too, it was truly a steal, so in a very short time I had accomplished getting a new job and car, life was going good and heading in a totally new directions. Little did I know, God had put all these pieces in to play because of his DIVINE plan. Two weeks into my job, I got totally shocked and caught off guard when I was told I was pregnant during a routiene Doctor's visit. Three children was my life plan, but I had def. planned on holding off on a third child for a couple of years. As we all know, sometimes our plans and God's plans don't always match up, and as much as I wasn't planning on having another baby so soon, I was actually pretty excited when I was told the news. I didn't even really get upset, or freaked out, I just smiled and said, " Okkkk God, another baby it is, but I think this time it will def. be our last!" So that is where we are, lots of NEW and Exciting things happening in our lives. Carson and Camden are totally siked to have a new baby coming. Carson is really able to comprehend what that means and anytime he even hears someone mention the word baby, he says,"HEY, my mommy has a baby in her tummy!" He swears its a "sister" and he already has a name picked out for her, although I am not sure mommy and daddy are quite on board with the name yet lol! Most people want to know if we are praying for a daughter, but in all truth and honest I just want a healthy baby. Boy or Girl, I will be happy and blessed and know that God knows what our family needs. As of today I am between 7-8 weeks and I am thinking we are due around June 25th. We have an ultrasound scheduled in about a week to give us an "accurate" due date though, So I will update then if something changes!!!...So here is our lives...I am back to blogging, and I have to say it feels GOOD! :-)

A glimpse into the future!

2010-03-13T08:04:00.001-08:00

As a mom, it's easy to let your mind wander into the future. I think all parents wonder what their child will be when they grow up. I often wonder if my boys will be into sports, or arts, or will they be bookworms. Whatever the case, I will support and be proud of whatever they decide to put their heart into. I will say though if NOW is any indication of whats to come, I may already have gotten a glimpse into the future.

Recently, I was uploading some pictures off my camera, when I came across some photos that I KNEW I didn't take. There were about 10 of them, and at first I thought, "Where in the world did these come from?" Then it hit me! My Doodle snagged my camera and decided to take some pictures of what is really important in HIS world, and in my opinion I don't think he did half bad! Is photography in his future?

Then I have my Cam-a-bam who LOVES to read. Well ok, so technically he can't actually READ, but he LOVES to look at books and study the pictures. He will sit with a book and look at each page over and over again for 15 or 20 minutes. I have to say I am absolutely elated he loves books, and it makes me wonder...will I have that bookworm child too??

I guess time will tell what the future holds for these sweet boys, but its funny to imagine all the possibilites that my babes will grow up to be!

Let's talk hair!

2010-03-02T18:14:00.000-08:00

Yes, this post is all about HAIR! It's the topic around the Godwin household lately, so I thought I'd share with you all too!

First, let's start with mine. Last week my favorite hairdresser(and ONLY person I trust to touch my hair) asked me to be a guinea pig for a new smoothing system she ordered. The product is all natural and is actually supposed to be pretty healthy for your hair so I agreed. My hair is naturally curly and although I straighten it quite regularly, it can be very frizzy at times. Usually, my routine of getting ready takes about 30 mins just on the hair end of it. I have to blow dry and then flat iron, and let me just tell y'all after I have blown my hair dry, its typically a big, poofy, frizz ball. I have never in my life been able to just hop out of the shower and go, or leave my house without LOTS of work on my hair. Even if I wear it curly, I have to add lots of styling products and blow dry it with a diffuser just to make my curls refined. So, you can imagine how elated I was when my hair dresser told me this smoothing system would(hopefully) eliminate my frizz and make my hair much more manageable and straight. I went to the salon she works at on a Friday and she did the treatment on my hair in less than 3 hours. It was such a simple and painless process, free of fumes and nasty chemicals and I left with sleek hair and strict instructions that I couldn't wash it for 72 hours. I made sure I planned this over a weekend so if I had to have greasy hair for 3 days, it would at least be in the comfort of my own home! When 72 hours finally rolled around, you can probably guess how anxious I was to wash my hair and see how well(or not) it worked. Well....here is the proof! This is my hair...freshly washed and blow dried with only me running my hands through it to brush it! I give y'all my 100% promised I have not(in this picture) straightened it with a flat iron at all! I am honestly AMAZED at how smooth and straight it is now and for the first time EVER in my life I am able to just blow dry it and have it be sleek and frizz free! Now, I will say I do still use my flat iron to tame down some unruly pieces and fix my bangs, but as you can see in the picture my hair is for the most part silky smooth with just a quick blow dry! Its amazing! If you are interested in getting in on this awesome new product, give Claire a call @ Gussy Up! I'd defiantly recommend this to girls like me, who spend lots of time trying to tame the frizz!

In other hair news, my sweet Doodle is over three years old now and STILL has yet to have a hair cut! I think the sheer thought of it, brings me to tears and part of me never wants to cut his precious little curly hair. I know that is not realistic, but I looked at that big bald head for a long time and the fact that he actually has a head full of hair now is special to me haha! I have had some people tell me they think its getting a little unruly though so I want yall's honest opinion! I admit it can be(much like his mommy's) hard to tame sometimes, but I don't exactly think its out of control! Maybe I should just give in and get it trimmed up. I know it will grow back, but I am not sure I am ready to take that leap yet....what do y'all think?

I have......

2010-02-26T07:59:00.000-08:00

so many GOOD things going for me that its not even funny! I am a blessed women and know that I have alot of things to be thanking God for. Not saying that I am perfect or bad things don't happen to me, but I certainly know I have much more beauty in my life than horror!! Its so easy to dwell on the negative. Lots of people live their lives everyday with the "why me?" and I refuse to be one of those people. Instead of WHY me, how about saying "WHY NOT ME?" I hope that if I can instill ONE thing in my children that they will carry with them all their lives(Other than GOD is number 1) its that beauty is much more important on the inside. Its the person you are under your skin that matters and having a pretty face doesn't get you where you need to go in life. Of course its wonderful to be physically pleasing, but if your heart is pure and beautiful that will carry you much further. With the society we live in, daily its thrown in our faces that you have to look a certain way to be quote on quote "normal" but that isn't true. I hate that our children will grow up seeing the altered pictures on billboards as what people are supposed to look like. Everyday people typically DON'T look like movie stars and its so silly that our generation has made being "perfect" the norm. We are all different but God made us perfect in his eyes, so be happy with what you were blessed with. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with "improving" but when you strive in life to be someone else, that is when things become a problem!

When I sit down and look at all the things I have going for me in life, I am overwhelmed with it all! I have an amazing husband that thinks I am gorgeous, smart, funny, and tells me I am an *Super*Mommy*- I have two adorable and mesmerizing little boys who enrich my life more than I could of ever dreamed. I am going to school to pursue my calling in life, I have a roof(a nice one) over my head, a car to drive, and a God who created me in his perfect image. What could I possible complain about?

And even though I said beauty is whats underneath. These two little boys sure are easy on the eyes and a pleasure to LOOK AT! :-)

And this guy isn't bad looking either

Yes God..I am so thankful for all I have good going for me. Its obvious how great your love is for me and the feeling is so mutual! :-)

Never have I ever

2010-02-23T18:07:00.000-08:00

Never have I ever had pain like I have felt the last week. It started last Thursday in class when I started feeling these sharp, stabbing, radiating, pains in my back and side. I knew it was unlike anything I had ever felt before, but I wasn't going to rush to the hospital just yet. By Friday I was hurting even worse, almost as if I was having contraction and I knew that enough was enough. I headed to the Dr. only to be turned away basically by a P.A (who we will call "D") who didn't really take my pain seriously. she chalked it up to POSSIBLY being a kidney stone and dismissed me with a prescription for Tylenol. I was NOT a happy camper to say the least. By Saturday morning I was at my point of intolerance and I called back up to Urgent Care and was blessed to talk to a lady who actually took my pain seriously this time. Just for privacy sake, we will call her "C".She told me to come back in and she would take care of me. Let me just say, she was amazing. Two x-rays and a Iv of pain meds later, I was told I indeed had two kidney stones and hopefully would be able to pass them within a few days. "C" has even called me twice since to check in and see if I was feeling ok and if I'd passed any stones yet. Since I have never had kidney stones before, I wasn't 100% sure what they felt like, but after this experience, I can say they are ALOT like having a baby. Unfortunately, instead of there being a sweet little baby as the reward, this time you get NOTHING! Since I was still in lots of pain, and I hadn't passed the stones yet, "C" urged me to go get a CT scan done at the hospital, just to be sure they looked small enough for me to pass and to rule out any other possible problems. Not only was I still in pain, but having bad breakouts of sweat too. I was waking up in pools of sweat at night from the pain and Derek was even telling me I really needed to do something as well! As much as I didn't want to do it, I dragged myself into the ER yesterday and to my surprise they got me RIGHT back. I was once again hooked up to Iv's given fluids and pain meds and I experienced my first ever CT scan. It was interesting to say the least, but I was able to confirmed that my ureter was dilated(due to passing 1 stone...YAY!) and I still indeed have one to pass. The Dr. seemed very confident that I would be able to pass it within the next few days though, hopefully with no problems. So now I am just waiting and praying this things expels itself sooner rather than later. Derek has just been so amazing through all this though. He has totally taken over when I needed him too and let this mommy get the rest she needs to recover. I am so thankful to have him as a husband, I'd be so lost without him!

On top of all that, today I broke out in a very strange, itchy, raised rash all over my feet. I have never had this happen before and I am wondering if its maybe a reaction to some kind of medication I am on, or is it just these new socks? I bought some new socks and didn't wash them before I wore them today.... Hmmm....guess time will tell. I will tell y'all one things though..I NEED A BREAK FROM ALL THIS CRAZINESS!!! One positive thing about it is, that I can relate to my patients alot better since I have been through this stuff.

I cannot believe this quarter is almost over! It has flown by SO super fast, and we are down to the last few weeks. Clinicals start tomorrow and I am excited and nervous at the same time! I can't wait to get that hands on experience, but I sure hope I don't make a fool out of myself! I know I am still learning and new at all this, but I don't want to make any mistakes that can jeopardize my patients so I am just praying I can remember all the important stuff we have learned thus far when it comes down to dealing the real deal! Wish me luck!

And last but not least I will leave you with a few cute pictures of my little bear! I love these pictures because at first he was ok with me snapping a few and then he covered up his face and said "No Mo" ...meaning NO MORE lol!

Change can be a good thing!

2010-02-18T15:18:00.000-08:00

A lot has changed over the last week and it was actually all positive things! I got a "new do" which I totally love! Its different than anything I have ever had and its so ME! I have had highlights before, but I tend to usually just stick with my natural, dark brown. This past week I posted about how I went a little crazy and switched things up a bit and I do LOVE LOVE LOVE the change. I went with red and blonde highlights and it turned out just how I wanted it. I hope I actually take the time to keep getting it done and keep it this way! Here are some pictures for those who haven't seen it yet! Before: and After:

Another BIG change is we are now a TWO car family! YAY! This past week Derek became the proud owner of a 2005 F250, and he is over the moon. It was really awesome how God put all the pieces together, and the opportunity unfolded so beautifully right before our eyes. The truck was actually Derek's dads, but he really no longer has the need or desire for something that big. It just so happened we needed another vehicle desperately and when Derek's dad offered to sell it to him for a great price, we jumped right on it!! Now we are BOTH able to take the boys to school if needed and/or pick them up! Its wonderful knowing that I am not the only one capable of doing that, and its already helped me out tremendously. I was starting to wonder what in the world we were going to do on those days where I have clinicals starting at 6:45 a.m., but now that is no longer an issue! I am just sooo thankful for yet another blessing God has given us!

Speaking of clinicals, we had our orientation this week. I have to admit, I was a little nervous about our first clinical rotation. I know its going to be at a nursing home, and every nursing home I have ever been inside has just be horrible. I have to say though, after orientation my mind has totally changed. The nursing home we will be working in is SUPER nice. I was so surprised at how well kept the place was and I am now feeling like this rotation will not be so bad after all! I surely hope that if I ever have to be placed into a nursing home it will be somewhere as nice as this place!

Camden is feeling MUCH better. After a little weekend of R&R he was right back to his silly little self! Although he was sick, I let him enjoy the glimpse of snow we got Friday. That was certainly an unexpected change(but an AMAZING one)from the weather we are used to seeing around here. Derek and I took the boys outside for just long enough to let them get the experience, and then we came in and enjoyed watching it fall from our warm living room! Here are some pictures I snapped (and YES that is Derek's new truck you see in the very last picture)

So this past week has definitely been filled with changes, but sometimes change can be a BEAUTIFUL thing! :-)

Its a beautiful life!

2010-02-12T06:08:00.000-08:00

It really is, not saying there aren't those rainy nasty days, but for the most part we are truly blessed!

We filed our income taxes this week and its just amazing how God provides our needs. God never said he would provide all our wants, but without a doubt I know he is going to supply us with our needs when we turn to him. We really weren't sure what to expect for a tax return this year. Derek's hope was to get enough back to pay off our two credit cards, and I was really really really hoping to have enough to also get a laptop for school. Can you guess what we got back? Almost to the DOLLAR amount to do BOTH those things. We can successfully pay off the credit cards and there will be just enough left to get that laptop I am needing for school! Isn't God awesome!?!

This week I decided to go a little crazy and get something different done to my hair. I know brown looks good on me, but I wanted to shake things up a little and get some highlights. You see, its very RARE for me to go and get my hair done. I get it trimmed every 4 months of so, but other than that, I just let it do its thing. Yesterday however, I was feeling slightly spunky and decided to make a change. My hair dresser was I think shocked I was actually willing to let her do something new and we were all excited to see the NEW LOOK. Not 10 mins after she gets my color rinsed though, I get a call from Camden's school saying he is having difficulty breathing and they think he needs to go the ER. As a mother, do you know how scary it is to get a call like that? So wet (freshly colored) hair gets thrown up on top of my head and OUT THE DOOR I FLY! I put my flashers on and zoom to his school. Right before I get there, I get another call from the director there saying she thinks I need to hurry because now not only is his little tummy contracting when he breathes, but he is having to use his neck muscles too. I get there, get him in the car and fly to the Ped center. And as if I am not having a stressful enough afternoon, they bring me back, only to place me with a Dr. who I really do not care for. Pushing my biased aside, I try and just keep focused on Camden and hope this Dr. will just do the best she can in treating my baby and also somewhat hoping my mind will be changed about her. I do however ask why I cannot just see my normal Ped. Dr and am quickly told he has a full load of patients and I can only see the Dr. they put me with since she is the emergency on call Dr. that day. Camden is still at this point breathing very heavily and I am not happy with what I see, the Dr. seems unconcerned(and I am starting to like her even less) but I just keep telling her this is certainly not normal for him. The Dr. tells me she will do a breathing treatment on him and go from there, but she thinks he just has a bad cold. When she steps out of the room I tell my mother in law(who is there with me) that I really wish I could just see Cam's normal Dr. Not a minute later the Dr. they put me with FLIES in the room and proceeds to tell me if I don't want her to treat my child that I just need to LEAVE and go to the ER. She very rudely explains that SHE is the Dr. on call and I am not a Dr. so I need to let her do her job, or go somewhere else with someone I am more comfortable with! CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE MY JAW dropping to the floor at this point? I explain to her that I am not trying to be rude, but I am just more comfortable with my own Dr. and that its not anything against her(which probably was a lie, but I am not trying to start a fight with this women, keep in mind my child is still gasping for air at this point) She then proceeds to explain to me that she keeps hearing me ask to see my own Dr. and that she doesn't want to treat Camden if I cant trust her, or If I don't feel comfortable with her. She keeps urging me to just go the the Er if I think they will take better care of my son. At this point my BLOOD is boiling and I look at her and say, " LISTEN do you want the truth, well the truth is NO I don't like you, I don't trust you, You gave me older son ear drops for pink eye when he was 6 months old and could of severely damaged his eye, so YES I have reasons why I would feel more comfortable with my own Ped. Dr.!" After another 2 to 3 mins of her being blatantly UGLY to me, I say , "Listen my son is over there struggling to breath, DO SOMETHING, stop arguing with me and PLEASE help my baby!" She says ,"Ok" and tells the nurse to hook up a breathing machine. As soon as she leaves the room I burst into tears and my mother in law says, "Hallie that women just TOTALLY crossed the line, you have every right to be upset right now!" and I was, let me tell yall, I was more than upset, I wanted to scream words at that women that don't typically come out of my mouth, but Camden is much more important that that. I had to push aside all those emotions I was feeling and focus on getting him breathing normally. About half way through the breathing treatment the Dr. comes back in and says, " Well I have good news for you, I have been called away to an emergency so you will be getting to see your regular Dr!"....all I could think was THANK YOU JESUS, you always have my back! :-) My regular Dr. Tim JONES came in and was just as sweet as he could be, he took care of my little bear as if it were his own child and my anxiety melted right away. THANK GOD FOR HIM, he is the only reason I even bother with that Dr.'s office at all. Camden has bronciolitis, so our weekend will be filled with breathing treatments every four hours, just LOVELY, but hey I will do anything to NOT see my baby breathing like that again, its was really scary and not a good experience at all!

Those are NOT the plans I had for my weekend by the way, I had planned to do something sweet and romantic for Derek for Valentine's day. Not sure that we will be doing much of anything romantic, but spending time with my 3 adorable Godwin boys will be good enough for me! Some women only get one valentine, but I am blessed with 3 guys fighting for my affection, Yep, its a BEAUTIFUL life! :-)

I could sleep for days!

2010-02-05T08:05:00.000-08:00

Seriously, I could. I have no clue why, but this week I have been soo stinkin tired. Last night, I was asleep by 8:45 p.m. and the night before I was out like a light by 9:30. I think everything is finally catching up with me, and my body is craving some good solid sleep! These have been some very LONG days since school started, and I think I will defiantly be investing in some vitamin B6 this week to boost my energy levels! Like I said before I was in bed by 8:30 last night, I got up this morning at 6:45 to get the boys dressed so Derek could take them to school, I went back to sleep until 9 when I was promptly woken up by the astro man ringing our doorbell, and now(11:11 am) I am still feeling like I could go back to sleep for a few more hours! WHATS UP WITH THAT?!

On a different note, Tuesday was my Goal speech. It went very well. The judges seemed to really enjoy what I had to say, and had lots of good questions for me. I think I answered them all very gracefully, but I was unfortunately not one of the four finalist picked from our school. There were a total of 16 nominees, made up from students of all different majors at SWGTC, and only 4 were allowed to move on to the next level. As much as I thought I would be, I can honestly say I am not disappointed. I feel I did a good job, and I am just trusting that this wasn't in God's plan for me. I am honored I was just nominated in the first place.

School is moving along SO FAST! We are learning to insert NG tubes this week and let me just tell yall, I HOPE I never have to have one. I might end up being an exceptionally awesome nurse, but I can promise you I will be one of the worst patients. If I see someone heading my way, ready to shove a tube through my nose and into my stomach, I will kick, slap and maybe even BITE my way out of the room! JUST KIDDING(well maybe not). It looks terribly uncomfortable to say the least, and I will really be pitying any patients who are unlucky enough to have me inserting one.

My Godwin boys are all doing good! Derek is working like crazy (God love him for it) and the little Godwin boys are wild as ever! Carson's beloved Mater fell apart this week, and we are all morning the loss. Look at all we have been through with him:

I mean my goodness, we have been through Halloween's, beach trips, double riders, naked booty's, and tons more. We had some amazing times with Mater, and some great memories. When I think back to Carson's baby/toddler years, I will always remember his MATER! We bought him from Target before Camden was born( Carson was around 15 months old) and I can honestly say there didn't go a day that Carson didn't play with him. As you can see in the last picture, he had gotten to the point he was relying on tape to keep him going. His steering wheel has begun to crack and was at the point of falling off, and I am sad to say Wednesday night he finally bit the bullet! :-(
FORTUNATELY, my mom couldn't bear the news and went right out and ordered a NEW MATER. Carson is going to be overjoyed when he gets that package, and we will be happy to have him back in the family. I wish I could of videotaped Carson's reaction when Mater fell apart. He said, "OH NO MOMMY, we have to go to WALMART right now and get new Maters!" I wasn't sure we'd even be able to find another one or if they still made them, but I am thankful to say they do!

On a final note, lots of people warned me that I may put on some pounds going to school. They said the stress factor, and my butt plopped in a desk most of the day might just do it. I am THANKFUL to report that SO isn't my case, in fact I have lost about 8 lbs and am now only about 8lbs away from my PRE-CARSON weight! It has been a long road getting here, but I am super proud and feeling like a HOTT MAMA again! I'd like to loose a total of about 15 more all together, but I can honestly say I am starting to like my body again! I think the STRESS and lack of time to eat has actually helped me during school and not hindered me one bit. I also try to snack healthy and keep water at hand instead of hitting the vending machines up for Soda's and snacks. Those of you trying to loose CAN DO IT! I am the proof!

Alright, time to get to this cleaning I have been avoiding all week! Have a blessed Weekend!

GOAL speech

2010-02-02T04:16:00.000-08:00

So, this is the speech I have put together to read this morning to the panel of judges. I was asked to write about myself and my family, my program, how the education I recieve has/or will change me, why I choose SWGTC, and my future plans/goals. I figured its safe to post it this morning, since hopefully no one else will be readying my blog to steal my ideas! :-)
HERE IT IS:

Goal Presentation
Hello! My name is Hallie Godwin. I am a 23 year old, mother, wife, and student from Thomasville, Ga. I share this life with my best friend Derek whom I married in June of 2006, and together we have two amazing and adorable little boys named Carson and Camden. I am proud to be an A.D.N student here at South West Georgia Technical College, and am looking forward to all the opportunities this career will offer me. With the nursing demand growing, I like the flexibility of knowing that no matter where I choose to live, my skills will always be needed. I also love the diversity nursing offers. I can work a fast paced, life saving job in the emergency room, or a slower paced, one on one job in a Doctor’s office. The possibilities are numerous. It’s very assuring knowing there are so many different options my education will enable me to have. I know that my education is the first building blocks I will need though in order to become a successful nurse.

Although I just started my actual program, I have already witnessed how committed the faculty is to teaching their students everything they will need to know in order to step out of the classroom and directly into a job. Not only will we be equipped with all the theories and fundamental of nursing, but we will also be taught the hands on skills to be successful in the nursing field too. That played a big factor in why I choose Southwest Georgia Technical College for my education. I wanted to earn a degree in which I’d immediately be able to apply what I learned to my profession. Technical colleges do just that, and I really commend the fact that they stand behind their student’s education. I can already see the benefits of the training I am receiving, and cannot wait to see how much this whole experience is going to change not only my life, but the life of my family as well. I am looking forward to giving my children a brighter future, and enhancing my own by entering a career in which the main focus is helping others. Even if I wasn’t lead to become a nurse, I still see myself choosing a Technical College for my education. I have many friends whom are currently enrolled in other programs here, and I have yet to hear them have negative remarks regarding the learning and training experiences they are receiving. I have even had prior graduates brag on the staffs willingness and efforts to help them be placed into a job upon graduation. I have no doubts that when I complete my program in June of 2011, I will be shown the same help and encouragement.

When I enrolled here at SWGTC, I already had a very clear vision of my career goals and plans for the future. I felt God urging me to pursue the desires of my heart, and now ( A year later) I still feel that way. Honestly, as a child, I never really knew what I wanted to be. That is why I sometimes jokingly call nursing, “The career that choose me!” It wasn’t until after I gave birth to my two sons, that I knew nursing was my calling. My entire motivation for becoming a nurse is based on the exceptional care I received during the hospital stays of childbirth. As I embark on this journey and transformation of becoming an R.N, I do it with the goal of one day being the caregiver alongside expectant mothers, helping them cope with the trails of labor. I know that as long as I never lose sight of why I started the career in the first place, that I will do an excellent job. I hope to leave work each day with the satisfaction of knowing that I positively impacted someone’s life. I want to make this profession more than just a job. I want to make it my passion.

I would like to close by saying I am honored to be nominated for the Georgia Occupational Award of Leadership, and I truly feel I would do an excellent job of representing our school!

IM ALIVE!

2010-01-29T06:22:00.001-08:00

For those of you who are wondering, YES I AM ALIVE! I have neglected my blogging duties for about two weeks now, not because I have nothing to blog about, but more because of lack of time and energy. However, today I have no classes and some free time on my hands so I wanted to reassure everyone that I am indeed still here.

Since the last time I blogged lots has happened I am sure. I cannot probably remember all the little things I wanted to share, but I will try to sum up the good(and not so good) points.

Derek's sweet Memaw passed away last week. She was an amazing and loved women who will be VERY missed. I think I speak for her family when I say we are all thankful she passed fairly peacefully and did not spend lots of time suffering. Although we will miss her greatly, we all are resting assure that she is in a far more beautiful place than we are, and we will see her again someday. I have some great memories with her. Most of them involve the boys(because she was head over heels for them). One of the things I know I will never forget about Memaw was the hours she spent waiting for her great-grandbabies to be born. I know she waited so patiently in that waiting room every hour of labor, and from the moment they arrived she was waiting with open arms. She absolutely LOVED her time with her babies. I am so sad the boys will probably not be old enough to remember her, but I will be sure to keep her alive with stories and pictures. I want them to know how much their Memaw loved them. Since she has passed we have all spent lots of time together as a family. We have went through TONS of old pictures at her house, and its so awesome seeing so many memories. I really cherish old pictures and I have seen so many adorable ones of Derek's daddy. Its soo cute seeing the little things my boys have inherited(looks wise) from their Daddy's side of the family. Its kind of strange, but when I found out Carson was a boy, I was kind of stuck on the name TUCKER. Derek wouldn't agree too it, so I pushed it out of my mind. Again with Camden, TUCKER was one of the first names on my list, but Derek still wasn't budging. Funny thing is, TUCKER is the last name of Derek's memaws family. No wonder I was so drawn to it! :-)
Also, I found out Derek's great-grandmother's name was America. That is so unique and different. I told Derek if we ever had a daughter we should name her America, but so far he isn't going for it. You never know though, there could be a MISS AMERICA in our future! ;-)

School is BUSY. I cannot believe how fast things are happening and my ability to keep up. Its week 4 and we have already learned how to properly catheterize someone. YIKESSS! I have managed 2 B's and 1 A on our first three test and I must say I am very proud of that. I know it is going to get harder but for the most part I am keeping up pretty well. I won't sit here and make it sound easy, because it certainly isn't. I am exhausted by the time 9 p.m. rolls around, but I will say I am enjoying every minute of it! Everyday is an adventure, and I am embracing it with open arms! I think I am going to make an EXCELLENT nurse, and I hope that I remember all the reasons I started this profession in the first place.

Remember that GOAL award I was nominated for? Well Tuesday is the day I have to speak and do my presentation. I am a little nervous, but overall feeling confident. Will yall pray for me? Pray God's favor, because that new car would sure be a true blessing to this family!!!

The boys(ALL 3) are doing good. Camden has adjusted into his new routine and is starting to LOVE his little school. He is also starting to get into that tantrum stage and I can't lie, its driving me NUTS! Thank goodness for me I know that its a normal stage(Carson did this too), but I am ready for it to be over with PRONTO! He is at the age where if things don't go his way, its TOTAL MELTDOWN, and you would think the world has just ended. I am working on patience and praying God grants me the wisdom and guidance to handle these little temper tantrums in the right way. I think that knowing Camden's sweet and loving side helps too. I know that he has the most precious little heart and although he can be very strong willed, he is also the sweetest little bear too. He will reach up with those little arms, and just lay there so peacefully as you rock him. He loved to be LOVED! As for Carson, well, lets just say he is surprising me alot lately. I don't know what happened, but overnight I feel like he has grown YEARS. The things he says these days are just so grown up and I am wondering what happened to my baby Carson. He amazes me, and I think everyone one else who meets him too!

Well, its the weekend! We don't have much planned, but I am sure we will find something to get into. Hope everyone has a safe and blessed weekend, and you will be hearing from me again soon(alot sooner this time I promise) I am sure.

I can't remember life before....

2010-01-16T18:36:00.000-08:00

You Carson. As we celebrate your third birthday, I can't remember how I felt before you were in our lives, and I don't want too. I remember the night you were born, and how I felt at that very moment, and how nothing I had ever felt before that could ever touch the feeling of meeting you for the first time. You were(and still are)so perfect, with that little bald head and those big blue eyes! I remember those first few days of "getting to know you"

and how we just felt so amazingly blessed that we were chosen to be your parents. We were in awe of you and still are. Today, as you turn three years old I can still see that little baby Carson when I look at you! Although you have grown MORE HAIR(thank goodness) and you have alot more to say these days, you still are our baby Carson.

Yesterday we had a party to celebrate the three years God has blessed us with you in our lives. As I was watching you run and play, I thought about all the joy you bring to me. Everyone you meet falls in LOVE with you. You have the cutest and funniest personality and the ability to make people laugh with just the words you say. This past year I have watched you blossom so much more into a little boy. Although I can still see my "baby Carson," the truth is you really aren't a baby anymore. Of course you wil always be MY BABY, but you are growing and changing and now you are so much more independant than ever before. You tell me things you want, express your feelings, and are able to really conversate. You told me all about how you wanted a "Mater Party"(incase you aren't understanding, that would be TOW MATER from Cars)how you want to be a nurse like mommy when you grow up, and how much you love school. Hearing you tell me whats on your heart is the most rewarding part of being a mommy. I love hearing your stories and ideas! When I look at you with those GOREGOUS sandy blonde curls and those greenish/blue eyes, my heart overflows with love for you! I know I am not perfect with you Carson. I know I am going to make mistakes as a parent, but I want you to know how unbelievably proud I am that you are my son. You are my strength that pushes me to work harder in life, strive more for my dreams, and to make you proud that I am your mommy! Happy 3 Years! Can't wait to see what the 4th year holds for us! :-)

Now I leave you with pictures from the party!

A moment to breathe

2010-01-15T09:45:00.000-08:00

*EDIT*- Oh and I meant to talk about this too, but I know lots of our hearts are VERY heavy for Haiti. I burst into tears just about everytime the news comes on. I cannot even being to imagine the devistation over there, but I feel very lead to help! If I was indeed already H. Godwin R.N, I'd certainly be willing to go lend my services, but until then I will just have to help in other ways! I hope that many of you feel led to help too. You would be amazed to see how much $10 does for a person right now over there. If your heart is nagging at you to do something, THEN DO IT!

Ok, now that I have a moment to actually sit and breathe I figured I might as well blog. School is keeping me busy, busy, busy, and not giving me much down time these days. I knew this how it was going to be so I am not shocked, but I am very tired!! I have succeeded in making a B on my first test, passing checkoffs and keeping up with all my homework. I was even surprised this week when one of my nursing instructors called me into her office to inform me that she saw lots of potentiol and leadership skills in me and nominated me to be the G.O.A.L winner for our school. GOAL stands for Georgia Occupational Award of Leadership. I was totally honored that she picked me, but even more shocked when I found if I win for the state I will win a NEW CAR! Haha let me just say I am not getting my hopes up that I win statewide, but how cool would that be? If you remember a few posts back I was blogging about how bad we are in need of another vehicle...could this be God's way? Time will tell!

One bummer of the week was the fact that my nice Nikon camera is out of commission. All of the sudden the lens stopped being able to adjust and upon further inspection, Derek discovered the gears are messed up. I am really sad because a certain SOMEONE is turning 3 this week and I won't have my trust camera to take pictures of everything. I do however have a digital camera so at least I will still have pictures, even if they aren't the best quality.

Speaking of a certain someone, yes CARSON DOODLE is turning 3 on Sunday. Its surreal to me still that its actually been 3 years since I first saw his face. He is already so grown up acting and I am so proud of the little boy that he is becoming. He never ceases to amaze me and I just thank GOD for him everyday! I will have to tell yall all about how his party goes tomorrow, but I will save that for another post!

Well that is all for now, guess I better get to doing something productive while I have some down time!

All Dolled Up

2010-01-13T15:06:00.000-08:00

So as you can see my blog is now, "ALL DOLLED UP!" Doesn't it look GREAT? I still can't believe I actually WON something, but isn't it awesome that I did? Jamie did great, great, great work, and if you too want a blog makeover, just hop on over to Jamie's blog and next time she has her monthly makeover giveaway, YOU could be a winner! She also offers packages so if you don't win she can still design you a custom blog of your own!

Here is the link to her blog http://jamiekubeczka.blogspot.com/

HOPE one of y'all wins your own makeover soon! :-)

I WON!!!!

2010-01-11T12:10:00.000-08:00

So a blog I follow posted about a "blog makeover giveaway" on their blog. I entered, thinking nothing to much of it. You see, I enter things ALL THE TIME, and usually get my hopes up, but never win. So you can imagine my surprise when I got on this morning to find out....I WON! Thats right I am getting a blog makeover. I have been wanting a custom blog for a long time, just to make my blog look funner and brighter, but I know that is not something Derek would be too happy about my spending money on. Although, he actually does LOVE and READ my blog. I was totally flattered when I had a women tell me she started reading my blog because my husband told her how great it is :-) It will be even greater once it gets a face lift! Be looking out for the "New and Improved" A Mommy on a MISSION!

Oh and since Jamie(the blog designer) will be giving a free blog makeover once a month, you could WIN TOO!! I will set up a link to her blog once my makeover is complete, that way you won't miss your chance to get REVAMPED!

What life is like for me these days!

2010-01-08T06:22:00.001-08:00

WHEW! I just finished my first week as a nursing student and I am feeling dizzy, anxious, excited, and somewhat overwhelmed!! It's been a whirlwind and I know that this is just the beginning and nothing will be slowing down anytime soon! In fact, I have a good idea that things will be gearing up even faster than I can imagine!! This week has been another week of first for several of us in the Godwin house hold. It was Cam's first week of daycare, my first week of nursing school, Derek's first week of seeing the craziness he is going to be dealing with for the next 18 months lol!

Let me just tell you what my days consisted of this week! I woke up at 6 a.m.(which can I say is NOT MY THING, I am not a morning person, but I think I am going to have to learn to be.) Anyways, I started my coffee, ate some yogurt(or a bagel, or cereal, or a bananas,or whatever was closest) and gave my self some time to wake up. I got dressed, did something with my hair, put some makeup on and then woke the boys up. Derek was up by then and has helped me get them ready each morning, and then it was out the door. The first day, I was so antsy. The whole drive to the boys school I couldn't help but wonder what my little bear was going to think about all the things he was about to experience. Although he seems to always adjust to things very quickly, he has always only stayed with family or close friends and so this would be a new ball game for him. When I arrived I got the boys out, brought them in, and they sat at their table to eat breakfast! I forgot my camera(BOOOOO) but I did manage to snap a few pics on my phone!
I think the fact that he walked in and immediately was greeted with a yummy pancake helped Camden to warm up to the place very quickly! I kissed them both several times and told them I was leaving. Camden gave me a puzzled look, but never cried(thank goodness) and it was off I went. I was thankful that I got out of there without any tears, but once I got in the car my eyes started to water a little bit. I guess it was the realization that Camden is getting to be such a big boy, and experiencing so many big boy things now. Anyways, I arrived at school at 8 a.m and from that point on it was pretty much non stop. Yes, we did get breaks for lunch, bathroom, water, but other than that it was GO GO GO. As I left school, I had to rush to go get the boys, get home to start dinner, then baths, bed for the boys, and homework for me. The next day at 6 am this all started over again! Yes, its crazy. I know this is just the beginning, but I am still super excited! I am waking up each day, excited to see what it brings. I have a feeling next quarter I might be singing a different tune, but for now I am liking the "newness"!

I know you didn't think it was going to be that easy with Cam's new adjustments? You are right, it wasn't! As the week progressed, Camden started to realize this was the real deal. I called several times to check on him, and they told me he was struggling a little bit. They said that he knows Carson is in the other room and that every time someone entered Camden's classroom he would scream for his "bubba!" and get hysterical. Do y'all know how much this hurts my heart? I know it is something that he will have to get used to and in time he will, but man does it tear at the my heart strings to know he is missing his brother. His teachers are SO amazing though, and they reassured me that this is normal and he will get used to the idea of being separated from him. They also assured me that once Camden calms down a little and is a little more adjusted, that they will indeed let him go see Carson for short visits. They said that they know how strong sibling bonds can be, and want the siblings at their school to be able to interact, as long as its not causing issues. I know this is really going to be great for Camden in the long run, but it is hard knowing he is so upset. Most people think of daycare in a somewhat negative sense, and If I didn't know first hand, I probably would too. Thankfully, I can assure you Noah's Ark is nothing like some of the horror storries you hear though. They are a christian learning facility, and are dedicated to teaching and helping these children learn to be independent and love Jesus. I fully trust them with the boys, and know that I couldn't leave them in better hands. I know that anytime of day I just "pop in" they will be doing exactly what they should be doing. I know I have just surprised them several times in the middle of the day and I come to find them reading the children bible stories, or working on arts and crafts, or teach the children their colors and numbers. Carson has truly learned so many awesome things there, and I am so very thankful for the workers there. I think knowing what I know about the place, is helping me adjust to too. I know they are safe, loved, and in a great environment to thrive.

Derek and I have also discovered there is NO WAY we can do this with one vehicle. Yes, Derek has a work truck, but it is not big enough for the boys car seats. I have already seen there will be days I need to be at school very early, and many nights I will be there long past 5:30(when the boys must be picked up). We really aren't in a financial position to go purchase another car, but we feel its best to find something cheap, but reliable just to get us through the next two years. We are looking for something that will cost $4000 or less and hopefully be great on gas mileage. An older Honda Accord or civic would be IDEAL, but that may be hard to find in this economy. All we know for sure is, we MUST have another vehicle if this is all going to run smoothly.

So, week one is over and I am pooped! I won't lie, its been exhausting for everyone. I am ready to embark on this journey though and face this new chapter of life!

Whats wrong?

2010-01-04T14:53:00.000-08:00

I know lately I have been a little bit of a "Debbie Downer" if you will. I probably have freaked LOTS of you who are my friends on Facebook out, with all the negative and sad posts. PLEASE FORGIVE ME! I know I probably had some of you thinking I was diagnosed with an uncurable illness, my marriage was falling apart, or something was wrong with my children....NONE of which is the case. Although I cannot lie, some things have been going not so great in my life, I know things could be ALOT LOT LOT WORSE!

I cannot really elaborate on the situation, but what I can tell yall is that *SOMETHING* took place recently that could of completely crushed all my hopes, dreams, and plans for going to school. This *Something* was really serious, and could not be easily fixed without God's true favor, and my faith. When I say that I was completely DEVASTATED, that would be an understatement. The thought of all my hard work being flushed down the drain was heartbreaking and I was truly wondering what in the world was happening in my life.

Thankfully, the situation resolved itself and today all was made good and right in the world for me! :-)

GOD IS GREAT, and so are all of you who sent a little something up to the man in charge in my name!

Revamped

2010-01-03T16:33:00.000-08:00

So, I have revamped my blog! I changed the name, description, backround...EVERYTHING!! Today I was really in a wierd mood, and I began to ponder who I am. I mean other than HALLIE, I was trying to think of WHO I am becoming and would like to become in the future and that is when the whole "Mommy on a mission" came to me. I am a mommy on a mission to do lots of things. I will probably always be on a mission to accomplish SOMETHING in my life, so I couldn't think of anything more fitting!! Hope those of you who actual READ THIS THING, keep enjoying as I continue to update about my daily adventures!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!...I cannot say that mine has been extremely HAPPY so far, but I am holding on to hope and promise that God is going to unveil some unbelieveable things for everyone this year! BE BLESSED!

All I Want For Christmas

2009-12-29T10:57:00.001-08:00

So, maybe some of you recently remember Carson's problems not wanting to sleep in his room. At first he claimed he was scared of monsters, and then it turned into the fact that he didn't like his room and wanted a "new room!" Big request from a not even 3 year old huh? Anyways, for weeks, every time someone would ask Carson what he wanted for Christmas, he would reply, "A new room!" Of course, Derek and I both knew that we couldn't give him an actual "new room," but we could make his room look a little more grown up and change things around. We knew just making a few adjustments would make him feel as if he had a whole new room. Carson was sleeping in his toddler bed, which used to be his crib. He had Elmo sheets, blanket, and pillow, and his room was still a little babyish. Here is some idea of what I am talking about, this is his before bed Derek and I decided we would make things a little more grown up for him, go with a twin bed, and new bedding, plus room decor. I shopped around and remember I got that GREAT DEAL at Kohl's on bedding? Well Christmas eve night, we got Carson to sleep in our room and we got busy. We took out his toddler bed, and in return added a twin. We added his new bed set, book ends, and wall decor. Derek changed out his light fixture to a very cute and modern one, and before we knew it, Carson room really did look NEW! Here are some pictures:

I was so proud of how cute everything looked, and could hardly keep myself from waking Carson up right then to show him. Don't worry, I DIDN'T wake him up, but the next morning I was probably more excited than he was to take him to "see if Santa brought a new room!" I told Derek I would go in an wait and then he could bring him in because I wanted to get the look on his face when he saw it for the first time. The look was PRICELESS And his new room was a big hit! He totally loves it, and although I still find him crawling in our bed in the middle of the night, he really has embraced his "new room!"

Christmas was great, I think we all have no complaints. Everyone got things they wanted and it was another blessed year! Praying everyone has a super New Year and a blessed 2010!

Its Tradition

2009-12-27T10:58:00.000-08:00

Growing up, I cannot remember our family having very many traditions. I guess we weren't anywhere close to being a typical family, so traditions were not really "normal" for us. The only tradition I can even remember, is the one we did at Christmas. I cannot think of one Christmas, that my mom didn't let us open that one special present on Christmas eve, and we already knew we were opening new pajamas. My mom would always tell us of how her mother did the same thing for her and her siblings as a child, and she really cherished those memories. The point is to open the pj's on Christmas eve so you have these brand new, cute pjs on when you wake up the next morning, and you look cute in Christmas pictures. Now that I am a mom, I wanted to keep that one cherished family tradition going, and do it for my own children. We have faithfully done it every year since Carson was born(Well that has ONLY been three Christmas eves, but STILL...) and I plan to keep it going. This year I went with matching pjs for the boys, because they are now at that wonderful age where it isn't "fair" if one gets a different pair. Rather than having to listen to Carson explain he wants some like "Bubba's" I'd rather just see them in the same pair. So, christmas eve, I handed them those special boxes and sure enough it was..... CHRISTMAS PAJAMAS! Camden LOVED his And both my boys looked ADORABLE!
I decided I wanted to start this "tradition" for my sweet baby girl Peyton too!(Ok so maybe she isn't MINE, but I stillget to spoil her :-) ) So I found the most adorable pair of Pjs and that was out Christmas present to her!

Doesn't she look so stinkin cute? I am going to try and keep this tradition going for her as well, and give her a "special" pair of jammies each year for Christmas!

The Birthday Prince

2009-12-22T11:13:00.000-08:00

So my husband was the BIRTHDAY PRINCE yesterday!
and although we had already celebrated his birthday at the "joint party", I wanted to do a little some extra for him on his real birthday. He has done so much for so many, and works so hard, that I knew he more than deserved some special treatment. Since my mom, sister, and brother are in town and staying with us for the holidays, I recruited them to help me. First, we agreed to cook one of his favorite meals. He wanted prime rib, baked potatoes, and rolls. we cooked broccoli too, but that was probably a little more for us than him, because he isn't a fan. Anyways, the food was delicious, and it was truly a feast fit for my birthday prince
Trust me, it was GOOOOOOODDDDD! He was blessed with some gifts, which was special too because I really don't think he was expecting anything. I had already given him the gift I got him at our joint party, but I did get him a really sweet card that told him just how I felt about him and how much he meant to me! My mom and my sister got him some things he was able to open on his real birthday though. My sister got him a GORGEOUS Tommy Hilfiger shirt I love the colors and I know he is going to look GREAT in it, and my mom got him an hour massage, which he he was SO thankful for. He is a macho man, but he LIKES being pampered too! Then it was cake time, and I think this is the part my baby boys had been waiting all night for! Camden was so excited when he saw that beautiful, chocolaty, deliciousness coming his way! Carson helped Daddy blow out the candles and Camden was getting impatient quickly. That impatience turned to total MELTDOWN when he thought he wasn't getting any of that yummy cake

But then after he realized I wasn't the meanest mommy in the whole world, and all I was trying to do was cut him(and everyone else a piece), all was better! Carson was LOVING the cake too, can you tell? All in all I think he had a great birthday. I wish I could of done more for him, but I am pretty sure he was pleased and truly felt like a birthday PRINCE! :-)

I have the BEST

2009-12-20T19:40:00.001-08:00

I truly have the best friends and family anyone could ask for. Keep in mind, I said the best, not the most PERFECT! :-)

I love them so much, they make my life special and warm. This past Saturday was our annual "joint birthday party" where we celebrate, Mine, Derek's and his Mom's birthdays. We all get together and eat a good meal, and exchange gifts. I love it, because its not about what everyone is getting, but more about spending quality time together as a family. Usually, its JUST family, but this year I invited Aaron, Stephen, and Peyton too, because at this point I feel like they are just as much family as our really family is. I am glad they came, because it made the night just that much better! Peyton was SUPER happy to be there, as if you couldn't tell from the picture!

For my birthday(even though my birthday is technically not until the 24th) my SUPER, AWESOME, AMAZING, hubby, hired a sitter, took me out to my FAVORITE restaurant(Osaka's) and then took me to the mall and let me pick out a few things I wanted! To me, that is about the BEST gift he could give me. It was so nice being out together, and alone. We didn't have to RUSH out of a store to calm one of our crying children, or worry about diaper changes, it was just about being together and well lets face it, SPOILING ME for the night! I love that he knows JUST what to do to make me happy! Thanks babe!

Tomorrow is HIS actual birthday and I plan on doing something special for him too! Unfortunately for y'all, SHHHHHHHHHHHHH that will have to be a surprise for later. Its nothing SUPER BIG, but just lots of things I want to do to show him how much he means to me!

So totally off that subject, but still talking about the BEST family. I think I got the BEST mommy award Friday, when I made special cookies for Carson's Christmas party at school. Usually, when his school has little parties, they ask each parent to bring something. This year, they asked me to bring Christmas cookies(HOW EASY). I could have picked some already made ones up from the store, but instead I wanted to go that extra mile. I decided I would come up with someone creative and make Carson PROUD! So, I found a cute recipe for some cookies and went to work. Well, in all honestly, I didn't actually MAKE the cookies, but the decoration is ALL ME! :-)

It was lots of fun, and all his teachers just raved about how adorable my "reindeer" cookies were!! Yes, I think I made my boy proud!

Well....for now that is all I have, I will let you know how Derek's birthday goes tomorrow! :-)

Childhood is CALLING :-)

2009-12-15T19:45:00.001-08:00

One thing that I absolutely LOVE about having children is getting to relive things through them. There are certain things they do, that put a smile on my face and take me back to my own childhood. Take for example these pictures:
I can totally remember as a child making bubble beards and mustaches. Those are the great things about being young, you basically LIVE off your imagination. You can turn something into an adventure. I miss that! I haven't made a bubble beard in many years haha, but its nice that I can still enjoy that innocence and imagination through my children.

I can also remember loving to make pallets as a child, and snuggle up to my mom, dad, or sibling. When my boys do it, I think its the most precious thing in the world. I love seeing them all curled up, with a blanket, watching some cartoons. I am so glad I had them so close together. I know when I was pregnant with Camden, I was very uncertain of how things were going to play out. I had this somewhat guilty feeling that Carson was going to hate me and that he would completely resent this new little brother I was bringing into his life. Boy am I glad that was just those LOVELY pregnancy hormones talking! Not only is that not even close to being true, its actually the complete opposite. These two boys couldn't be more crazy about each other! Isn't it obvious?
Ya, I'd say it's pretty undeniable! And aside from Camden's beat red cheeks, I don't think ANYTHING could come between them :-)

Speaking of nasty red cheeks, Camden's skin seems to be taking this winter far worst than last year which totally STINKS! Infact, with the recent FROST we had, Camden awoke one morning to these lovely, rashy, itchy legs
I hate that he is still having to suffer with this junk, and if I can ever figure out what triggers it(other than cold weather), he and I would both be alot happier. For now though, I am just keeping him SUPER lubed up and moisturized.

Christmas is rapidly approaching and I am almost ready! I have sent out my christmas cards, got our tree up(even if it is our small one) and I am 90% DONE shopping. I must admit, I was not happy about having a very small tree again this year. See, the problem is we have very large leather furniture, and no where for a big tree to go. I was still holding out hope that this year though, that we'd find a place for a big, beautiful, decorated tree to fit, but after much thought I knew it just wasn't going to work. BOY AM I GLAD IT DIDN'T!!! As beautiful as it may have been, I am already spending LOTS of time during my day smacking little hands and explaining that the ornaments are NOT balls. I can only imagine what I'd be doing if the big tree was up. So I will settle for our, little, but CUTE tree and that will be just fine with me!! December is a crazy month for us though, so even though I am on a break from school, I am really not "breaking" at all. With 4 family birthdays this month(including Mine, Derek's, and his mom's) we are spending lots of time AND money on family this time of year. I love it though, and even though this month is always hectic, its so nice to be all about FAMILY and Fellowship during the season. One thing for SURE though, I have vowed to make sure I try VERY VERY VERY hard to not bring another December baby into the family. I think December is a full enough month for us, DONT YOU?! :-)

Sleep positions

2009-12-07T19:13:00.001-08:00

My little bear can sleep just about anywhere, and in just about any position! It never fails to amaze me how I may find him sleeping in his crib(or other RANDOM places!) I try to grab my camera and take a picture each time because they are the CUTEST memories! Now I will share some of his many sleeping positions with you! :-)

Camden sleeping before I could get lunch to him!

Asleep at the crib in the hotel. Obviously he fell asleep while sitting up to end up in this position!

I love this one! His little feet where sticking straight through the rails!

Oh and lets not forget the infamous BUTT IN THE AIR position! Got to LOVE it! :-)

This last one was in the car on the way to Orlando. Doesn't he look so precious and sweet?

Mr. Novembers and Twins!

2009-11-28T06:27:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving was AWESOME y'all!! We did things a little different this year and although sometimes change can be a bad thing, this year it was absolutely AMAZING! Typically, we head over to Derek's Mema's Thanksgiving evening and enjoy food and family time. We talk, laugh, EAT, and go home. This year however, Scott(my brother in law's) mother Cheryl, offered to do it at her house, and let us all just come eat there and bring a dish. I was elated because I absolutely LOVE going to Cheryl's house. Not only is it only about 2.5 seconds from my own house(Which is convenient when the boys pee their pants, or need a jacket, or you forget your camera haha), but its just beautiful, big, and has lots of yard for the kids to run and play. I look VERY forward to any event I know will be at her house because she just does such a fantastic job putting things together. She hosted my baby shower with Camden, and all her get togethers are just adorably decorated and so fun to be at. So, Thanksgiving day, I made green bean casserole and Pumpkin Ooey Gooey Butter Cake. BOTH were a hit, but the Cake was truly the winner. Let me just say it's PAULA DEAN approved, and leave it at that lol. I probably could of enjoyed it myself alot more if I didn't make it. Something about seeing the two sticks of butter, whole bag of powdered sugar...you get the picture, made me feel about 10lbs heavier from just MAKING the darn thing! Anyways, all the food was delicious. We ate like Kings and Queens, but the best part was all being together and enjoying each others company. I love this time of year! My boys(all three) were looking VERY handsome that day. I swear if they made a baby HUNK catalogue(they probably DO), Camden and Carson would HAVE to be Mr. Novembers!

Friday, I woke up early(VERY EARLY) to go shopping with my best friend Aaron! We hit Target and Kohl's and I feel we got some GREAT deals! Carson has been having a very difficult time at night, and swears he doesn't want to sleep in his room. He says he wants a "new room", which to me sounds like a BIG request from a *ALMOST* 3 year old. None the less, his daddy and I decided that for Christmas this year, we couldn't give him a NEW ROOM, but we COULD make it a little more grown up for him. So, when I found the CUTEST 6 piece bedding set at Kohl's for $30 I could NOT pass it up! That is right $30 for this: It regularly is $99.00. Today as I got on just to SEE if I got a good deal its already back up to $55! So yes, I snagged that adorable bedding all for $29.99, and it was indeed a GOOD DEAL! I also got some other good gifts that were on sale and I am ALMOST completely done with my Christmas shopping. While in Kohl's, Aaron and I were approached by a news crew to do an interview. We of course agreed and we MADE the 6 o'clock news. YES, we are now famous and who knows "The HILLS" may be calling us to be their next big things! ;-)! You can watch the interview at this address:http://www.wctv.tv/video/?autoStart=true&topVideoCatNo=default&clipId=4337796&flvUri=&partnerclipid=
Keep in mind it was like 6 in the morning, we weren't exactly READY for our close ups! :-)

On a different note. I know I have mentioned it before, but I frequently get asked if the boys are "twins." Although, I think they resemble, I do NOT think they look even close to being identical twins. Carson has alot more hair at this point and its very blonde. Camden's hair is a few shades darker and he is a good 3 inches shorter than Carson. Still, at least once a day if I am out with both boys, it never fails that someone will walk up to be and say, "Aww your twins are adorable!" or "Wow, are they twins?" Lately though they are actually really ACTING like twins. Sometimes it's Camden acting way more GROWN up than he really is, and wanting to do the things his big brother does. Alot of times, its CARSON acting Camden's age again and wanting to be "A Baby" as he calls it.
Yes, there is he trying to go back to his younger days. Camden isn't sure WHAT TO think of it. I know its just a stage, but I just try and remind Carson that being the big boy has its perks too! So, although I know they aren't twins, many days I feel like they REALLY ARE!

It's beggining to look ALOT like Christmas!

2009-11-24T06:54:00.000-08:00

And it TRULY is! I love so many things about the holiday season and I honestly pretty much LIVE for this time all year long. I love the crisp cool weather, the changing leaves, the smile on everyone's faces. I LOVE the awesome food, the time with family, and the beautiful lights and decorations everywhere! I LOVE THIS TIME OF YEAR!! I have so much to be thankful for, and I have truly been one blessed women this year! I am a NURSING student, mommy, wife, I have great friends, A great family......life is GOOD! I have to admit there are certain things I absolutely LOATHE about this season too! Like uhhh hmmmm Exhibit A:
Camden's oh so infamous red cheeks! Ugly old Mr.Eczema is trying to rear his little head, but Mommy here is staying on top of it and doing everything she can to prevent that from happening. I am coating those cheecks day and night and so far he isn't making TOO much of an appearance yet! Exhibit B:...Wait on second thought I won't even SHARE this grusome image with yall, but exhibit B would be nasty ear infections! I cannt STAND them. Since Camden has had his tubes put in, we have been blessed and not seen the first sign of an ear infection until yesterday when he woke up with the grossest thing you have just about ever seen pouring out of his ear. I was truly horrified and after a visit to his Dr. I was told Camden indeed had an ear infection! Last winter was SO brutal on little Cam's ear that we ended up with tubes. Although, I know the tubes are doing their job by releasing all that pressure out of his little ears, I truly hope we don't go through all the ear infections we dealt with last year! Thank goodness now though, I know what to expect and won't FREAK OUT next time I see that nasty gunk oozing out of his ears. I think I just hate sick babies all together.

I think I hate my babies being sick, because when they are all well, LOOK how darn cute they are??!
I am so thankful for those precious little faces!!! I am also thankful for their daddy who takes care of us and supports us both financially and emotionally! WE LOVE HIM TOO! :-)

Yes, our family has all around had some very ROCKY times this year, we have been hit with some hard blows, but non the less my list of "things to be thankful for" is still VERY long and I know that I am blessed beyond belief!!!

Its OFFICIAL

2009-11-21T06:57:00.000-08:00

So it is official. I am an acceptee to the 2010 R.N program at SWGTC! I am super excited and anxious to start. It is hard to fathom that in 18 or so short months I will be H.Godwin R.N! WOW! Dreams really do come true, and I am seeing the light at the end, even if the END is 18 months away! I know it will be hard, I know I am going to want to give up sometimes, I know there will be things that try and stand in the way, but I am determined and I will succeed!

I knew WHEN I got accepted there were alot of kinks that would/will have to be worked out for me to get in. There are so many things that could prevent me from doing what I need to do, but I gave them all to God and I trust he is going to provide. If you are lost and wondering what I mean, let me explain. Well first the medical stuff(physical, dental exam, blood work/testing, shots) alone will cost me $500. Then there is the uniform costs, books, and medical supply kit which I am estimating will probably cost me around $1000. Oh and did I mention we will be adding another DAY care bill because Camden will be starting Noah's ark around the time I am starting the program too? Then raises the question, since we have ONE vehicle which we can all fit it, how will Derek be able to pick the children up from daycare when I am working those LONNNGG clinical hours? For all practical reasons we need another vehicle which fits our family, but that is a WHOLE NOTHER subject lol! Yes, all this needs to be done right now, before I start my program and its Christmas time. Derek, his mom, and I also have birthdays coming up in December, so without all this EXTRA stuff, December is a very expensive and hectic month for us!. Derek jokingly asked, "How does a physical sound for Christmas babe?" I laughed, but in all honestly, its probably what I SHOULD Be asking for. I am trusting God. I am trusting he will provide. I told myself If I got accepted I would let NOTHING stand in my way, and that is the truth. I will find a solution to ALL those things and I will let God lead the way. To top things off, yesterday, our one family vehicle, breaks down. My husband feels confident he can fix it himself, but that is something else that is going to need money. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ok sorry, but I do feel much better now that I screamed loudly one good time! Anyways, so yes, this is what is going on at the Godwin home. Stressful times, but very thankful times too! I am so thankful that my hard worked paid off, that my good grades made the difference, that this past year of homework and studying was all WORTH IT! I know I will probably look back 2 years from now and say, "GOSH what was I soo stressed about?" but until then can y'all just pray for some financial MIRACLES and for all things to fall into place?!

I am so PROUD

2009-11-18T10:17:00.000-08:00

This will be probably another one of my *RANDOM* ramblings, but try to bare with me! :-)

I am so proud! So very, very proud of my husband. Some of you know, and some of you don't, that Derek's dads health has taken major blows recently. Because of this, my husband has stepped up to the plate, not only carrying the load of his usual everyday work, but also all that his dad usually handles too. From bidding jobs, to doing invoice, Derek is doing it all! I am so proud of him. He is handling everything so well, and I just am amazed at how easily he has just stepped into his new role. God has truly blessed me with an amazing husband who is so mature and able to handle so much! It is so amazing how God puts two people together who complete each other. Derek is the voice of reason, I am the worrier. Derek is the go with flow guy, I am the planner. Derek is very responsible, I am sometimes careless. All my weaknesses are his strengths and vice verse. AMAZING! Only God could match people so perfectly to complete each others needs so well! :-)

Only 3 weeks left of this quarter, and I am SO ready for it to end. I need a break and I will get a nice LONG one after this. A whole MONTH and it is going to be such a wonderful time with family and lots of good relaxation( I hope)!! That is probably a very good thing because next quarter I should(GOD BE WILLING), start my actual nursing classes. I know this is going to be a lot more work, a lot more school hours, a lot more studying and I need this nice break to get geared up to take this on! So, I need to make it through these last three weeks, and then I will be good to go!

The boys are doing good! Carson was really sick last week, but is all back to his old self now. It was pitiful to see him so sick, but I did get some very good snuggle time out of him. Not that I enjoy a sick child, but I have to admit I love the way "Mommy time" seems to make them feel so much better! It makes me feel good too! :-) We had some family pictures done, and can I just say they came out AMAZING! If you haven't seen them, you can check them out here: They came out SO amazing, and that isn't even ALL of them. The others will be shared later, I'm saving our family one for Christmas cards so that one will stay a surprise until the cards get send out!

Well better get to do some homework!......Yep, more ramblings

My heart could BURST!

2009-11-11T18:09:00.000-08:00

I am so incredibly blessed that sometimes I think my heart is going to burst! SERIOUSLY! There are so many things I have going for me, and I could go all day listing things that I know God has blessed me with, but today I just want to share a few that have stuck out lately. God has blessed me with two GORGEOUS children. I look at them and I know I am blessed. They are healthy and beautiful and I am so lucky! I took these pictures of Camden the other day, and when I look at them I cannot help, but admire how beautiful of a child he is. His little face is so angelic and he is just one handsome little guy! I don't mean that in a completely superficial way either, He is handsome inside too(keep in mind here, I said HANDSOME...NOT perfect! haha) He has the silliest and sweetest personality sometimes, and although he does have a flare for the dramatics, I am so glad he is MINE!

Then I look at Carson, and although I think he is AMAZINGLY gorgeous too. That child has a heart of GOLD! Unless, you know him personally you probably don't truly know how special he is! I realize all parents think their child is special, but Carson has this personality that is like no other, and I cannot think of one person that doesn't meet him and fall in love! He is always doing the sweetest things. Today for example we were at his MiMi's house and he asked for a Peanut Butter and Jelly. I told her she could make one and half it for the boys. She made it and asked Carson who was going to get the first half...he sleflessly said, " Give it to Bubba!" At 2 and 1/2 years old my sweet boy is willing to give his brother the FIRST half of his favorite food! My heart could of burst right then! :-)
The other night I told Carson he needed to go to bed. I tucked him in and left the room. Thirty or so minuites passed, and I realized his light was on. As I rounded the corner to see what he was doing, I found him in his bed reading his little toddler bible. He was reading(in his own little way)to his little stuffed animals! I ran to grab my camera because that is something I want to remember forever!
Yea you guessed it, my heart could of burst right then with love! I am a mommy to two quite amazing little boys! :-)

I am worried!

2009-11-10T08:04:00.000-08:00

I am a mom and of course I worry! I try to not worry too much, or look to deep into things, but sometimes things are hard to over look. I am worried about Camden and honestly not sure what to do, or where to go. Here is the problem: Camden is an EATER and I know there is nothing wrong with that. I don't consider him overweight(and at his age the Dr says thats almost impossible) but I do think he has a problem. MY child eats more than my husband can eat, and never gets full. He eats and eats and eats, and until you pysically PULL the food from his hands he refuses to STOP. Maybe this wouldn't be such a problem if he wasn't ALSO eating things that aren't etable. I know babies put things in their mouths, but I know we are all born with the reflex to spit out what doesn't taste good. NOT CAMDEN, at least once a day he sneaks into our bathroom and I find him eating soap. YES you read that right...bars of soap! Pica may come to mind, but developmentally Camden is ADVANCED and his Dr explained to me that children with Pica usually show very delayed development! We ran blood work on him anyway, and it came back fine. I dont' want to be worked up over this, but it just bothers me that I dont know what to do to stop it or get it under control. Maybe I shouldn't be worried, maybe this is normal, but when my son is eating so much and also trying to eat non-etable things, it worries me! The other night we had a birthday party at our house and cooked hamburgers and fries. Camden ate a whole burger(these weren't mini burgers...TRUST ME) and fries. Carson ate maybe two bites of his burger and said he was full. The next thing I know, Camden has climbed up to the table and eating MOST Of Carson's burger too!
Everyone thought it was so funny and cute, and it was...but after I got him down and caught him digging in the trash to eat someone elses burger, I no longer found it amuzing. How can he NOT feel full, my grown HUSBAND can't down 3 cheeseburgers...so how can a 16 month old? I really really really don't want anything to be wrong with Camden, trust me! I should be relieved that his blood work came back perfectly normal, because after reading about Pica I was terrified and praying to GOD that my son was not going to have this. Honestly though, and I MEAN be honest...is this something you would be concerned about?

My how fast things CHANGE!

2009-11-04T13:09:00.000-08:00

When I decided to go to school to be a nurse, it was mainly based off of the AMAZING job I felt the nurses did when I had both boys. They were so supportive, and you could just tell they loved their jobs. With Carson there was a nurse whos shift had ended HOURS before he was born, but she stayed right by my side anyways because she said she wanted to see me through until the end. How awesome is that? She could of went home, but she loves what she does so much, that staying isn't even an issue to her. It was then that I had this "hunger" to get into something that I loved and would be a career I would be happy with and proud of. My ultimate goal is to work either Labor and Delivery or the Mother/baby unit, and I pray everyday that God will open that door for me when the time comes. Up until my sweet Peyton(my best friends daughter) was born, I had never seen a baby born in real life. Being there for Peyton's birth was so amazing, and emotional and I am just blessed that Aaron(her mom) let me be there for such a monumental day in her and her husbands lives. I think I have a special bond with Miss Peyton because of it, and I love her to pieces! I am so grateful I got to see things from that side of table, because having a baby and seeing one born are two TOTALLY different experiences. Last night, I got to see new life be born again. Autum(one of my oldest and closest friends) gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, and she asked me to be there to witness Baby Jaevyn's birth. It felt SO great to be there to encourage her and also I was able to help her nurse for the first time right after he was born. She has an older son and didn't nurse him, but really wanted to with Jaevyn. It felt so awesome to be there to help her get comfortable and get him latching good the first time. I was AMAZED at how alert this little guy was right after birth and he, no lie, came out LOOKING for the *GOOD STUFF*! At 5 minutes old he was rooting around, sucking his hand, and I have never seen a baby do that so soon. He latched right on within 15 minutes of being born and stayed that way for a good 15 to 20 minutes....It was AMAZING and I know it gave my friend Autum a great boost of confidence to see him doing soo well with it so soon! Seeing both these babies born, and being able to help both of these friends with nursing advice and issues has only FUELED my hunger to do this for a living and be there to coach, guide, and assist in lots of women having babies. I don't see how the job could ever get old or any less exciting, and I am just trusting God to help me pursue this dream. I think I will probably have to work on my overwhelming emotions though lol because so far I haven't been able to stop the water works from coming at either birth. I don't know how strangers would feel if their nurse is boo-hooing as their baby lets out their first cry :-)

It also never fails to amazes me how quickly these babies grow. I took my Little Bear for his 15 month check up today(even though he is really only a week from being 16 months) and he has already tripled his weight since birth. My 8lb 6 oz newborn is now a VERY healthy 29lb (ALMOST) 16 month old! My how things change.*THEN*
*NOW* The Dr. said he is perfectly healthy and maybe even a little advanced for his age. He is in the the 90th percentile for both his height and weight, and his verbal communication the Dr. said is advanced. I attribute this to the fact that he is picking up ALOT of things Carson says and the Dr. agreed! Let's just hope he doesn't pick up some things that slip out of Mommy's mouth on occasion! ;-)

Halloween and God's AMAZING Love*

2009-10-31T20:00:00.000-07:00

OK forewarning....this WILL be a long post, but if you can stick with it and read it all I think you won't be disappointed!

So Friday was Carson's Halloween party at school! They let him come in his costume and they had lots of goodies for all the kids. Then they made sure to take his costume off after the party so it wouldn't get dirty! I took some cute pictures and it seems like he had a BALL! Here are the pictures!

Well today was actually Halloween, and I was soo soo soo excited to dress the boys up! Our plans were to take them to the BIG festival at First Baptist church, and then maybe come back to our house and do some trick-or-treating in our neighborhood...that was OUR plan, but certainly NOT God's....let me explain! Recently, two different families have moved onto our street. One family is a single mom raising two daughters and a son. The daughters are 12 and 13 and the son is either 6 or 7. The mom works what seems to be all the time to obviously take care of her children and I don't think the dad is around or maybe doesn't live here.Anyways, The little boy frequently is just outside by himself, and so my husband being the BIG kid that he is, sometimes will invite him(and all the OTHER neighborhood kids) over to play with the boys in our yard. Carson really enjoys the company and he will say "Mommy, I like to play with my friends!" Well today alot of the neighborhood kids were out playing, and Derek took the boys our for a while to join them. I walked out and started asking some of the kids what they would be dressing up as for Halloween? All the kids were excited and saying they were going to be this, or that, and the little boy of the single mom, who we will just call "V", said he was going to be a football player. I told all the kids their costumes sounded great, and rounded my Godwin boys up so we could all get ready to leave. Derek told me when we came inside that he really didn't feel like going to First Baptists festival, and would be alot happier just trick-or-treating in our neighborhood. I told him that was ok with me too, so we got ready and headed outside to get the festivities underway. When we walked out, V was sitting in our yard. He looked very sad, and so we asked him what was wrong. He said, "The truth is, I don't have a Halloween costume, I have never even been trick or treating before." He said, " My mom is at work and she won't be able to take me this year either" My heart just about broke seeing how bad he was feeling. Derek and I just looked at each other and without saying a word we both made the decision RIGHT THEN that we would take him with us if his mom would allow it. So I said,"Well its ok if you don't have a costume, I have a trick or treat bag you can use and if your mom says its ok we would love you to ride around the neighborhood with us" The little boys face just lit up and you could tell it made his day. Then he said" Well I can just pretend to be a football player!" (Yea I know...pretty heart wrenching right?) So I went inside to get Carson's old Halloween bag from last year and as I went in his closet to find it, there sat a Halloween costume...the exact size for a 6 or 7 year old that Derek's sister had given us for Carson to play Dress up in. It was an incredible hulk suite, and it was JUST perfect for our little friend V. I almost burst in to tears right then, because I knew God had orchestrated this whole thing, nothing was a coincidence and we were about to do something for this little boy that would probably make his whole day. As I walked outside and showed him his new costume..he smiled so big and said, "Wow, I'd love to wear that one!" I then walked with him to his house and asked his sister if she could call his mom for us so we could ask her, and hesitantly his mom agreed. She had already met us once before, but as a mom myself I can totally understand how strange it must be to let your child go off with strangers. I left her with my number though and she said she was thankful for our kindness because she felt really bad that he was otherwise going to be unable to do anything but sit at home. He had a great time and we were so happy to be able to do something so small to us but so HUGE to him. God is so amazing and good and he showed his love to this little boy through us....AMAZZZZING! Here are some pictures from our night. We ended up driving around several neighborhood children and we really had a BLAST! Hope everyone else had a great night too...ENJOY the pics! :-)
*Carson and V*

*All three boys*

*Going to get some treats*

*Cam is bumming a ride*

*Carson and some of his "friends"*

*Yep, it was a fun night for this little man*

The way I see it, you have TWO choices!

2009-10-24T19:22:00.000-07:00

So, I am sure all of us have been in a situation where you have two choices. Choice one is to scream in anger and have a total melt down, and choice two is to just laugh! Last night was one of those times. Usually, Derek and I share bath duty. One of us baths the boys, and the other dries them and gets them dressed! Last night I bathed and Derek dressed. He got Camden out first, lotioned him up(his skin stays SO dry) and got his little jammies on. Then it was Carson's turn. As Derek went to lay Carson on the floor and put his clothes on, I heard him say, "CAM NOOOOOOOOO!" Derek then yelled for me to get Camden and before I could even ask WHY I saw Camden racing back towards the bathroom. I took off in hopes that I could catch him but I was too late! Camden dove back into the tub, diaper, clothes and ALL! I could of done one of two things....part of me WANTED to SCREAM and be mad at him....but I had to just laugh...I mean how could you not laugh? So as you probably guessed, I grabbed my camera and snapped a few pics. I figured this was something I'd want to remember and share with him when he is older!

Today we had a family cleaning day! I was so thankful that Derek helped me and we got lots accomplished! With everything that has been going on lately, I haven't exactly had a lot of time to clean the house, but I knew it was starting to get out of hand. Then when Derek offered to help me get things back in order, I didn't turn it down! This afternoon though I got to travel to one of my favorite places...*TARGET* and get Carson a few pairs of pants! I have to say I wasn't totally impressed with their selection and probably could of found some better deals at Kohls, but that boys were sort of cranky so I decided I would get two cute pairs I found at Target and maybe save Kohls for another day. I cannot believe how grown up Carson seems! Its hard to even believe that in less than 3 months he will be 3 years old! Has it really been three years since I held that sweet baby in my arms for the first time? I guess it has!
Looking at those pictures, he isn't such a baby anymore though is he? Speaking of things creaping up SUPER FAST, isn't it CRAZY how fast Christmas is approaching? I feel like all the sudden it just hit me and I better get some shopping started! I really am not sure what I am getting the boys this year, but I guess its time to start getting some ideas. I absolutely LOVE this time of year! :-)

On a different note

2009-10-20T06:54:00.000-07:00

Well since I wrote such a gloomy, whiney, negative post yesterday...I thought I needed to write something upbeat and positive...maybe even funny! Although, I totally felt all that I wrote yesterday..I know that feeling down and overwhelmed will get me NO WHERE and I must just over come obstacles thrown into my way and be proactive in my life!!!

Anyways..on a different note...yesterday Camden and I went out to get some stuff we desperately needed for our house. It amazes me how fast things dissapear around here. I feel like I have some little mice that wake up in the middle of the night and eat our food because, usually in one week I am out of EVERYTHING!!! So it was off to the store we went..and I must say, Mr. Camden was looking MIGHTY handsome if I do say so myself! I could just EAT HIM UP he is soo cute!
*on a side note...you may seem to notice our *OLD FRIEND* Mr. Red, Scaly cheeks is starting to rear his UGLY head again...ughhh....the first SIGN of cold weather and of course he had to make an appearance....I was praying we were through with him..but it looks like I was mistaken!

Anyways..so yes it was off to the grocery store we went....I tried to go around 11 because I knew Camden would need a nap about 1, and I wanted to get my shopping done early enough that I could work on homework while he napped....so I zoomed around the store, making sure I got everything on my list. I noticed though that Camden was very fussy....no matter what I did he just wasn't happy....I soon realized why!!!! As I am browsing through the produce, I look down only to find Yes a sleeping little bear!! Of course the one day I FORGET my shopping cart cover, he lays his sweet head on the germy cart! *Don't worry I wiped it well with antibacterial wipes!* Isn't it the most precious sight you ever saw though? Althought I can't lie...my *germaphobe* alter ego was screaming...."NOOOOOOO, remove that child from that cart at once!" I just couldn't bare to disturb his sweet little self. The remander of my shopping trip I had just about every old lady walking by and "Awwwwwinnnng" the sleeping baby bear in my cart!
And really..how can you blame them?? He is just about the cutest thing I have ever seen!!!

WARNING: You may not want to read this

2009-10-18T16:23:00.000-07:00

Just being completely honest here but you MAY want to NOT read this. I say that because this will not be some happy post about the kids, or life. After all this IS my blog and I am entitled to post about what I want, and today I want to complain and whine and let everything out that I am feeling. I try to be an upbeat person and for the most part I am, but everyone has the breaking points and I have reached mine. Since writing is a great release for me..that is exactly what I intend to do here....

I am not even sure where to start, lets just make it easy and start with the stroke. As everyone is well aware, a little over a month ago Derek's dad had a stroke. To us, it was upsetting to say the least, but with having known the man had over come Lung cancer not once but TWICE, it wasn't the worst we had ever been shaking by in this family. We over came the stroke and stood strong as a family. The Godwin's are great about coming together and being a united front no matter what comes. Recently, Derek's dad has started having trouble breathing. He could be sitting and doing NOTHING and just be very short of breath. All of us knew this was nothing to take lightly so Saturday Derek urged his dad to go to the hospital. At 5 a.m Sunday morning Tina(Derek's sister) came and got us up and let us know that once again Derek's dad was at the hospital and they had found lots of fluid on his lungs. When I say ON his lungs that doesn't mean IN...it means ON so basically his lung was being compressed with fluid(hence the shortness of breath) This is the same thing that happened the previous TWO times he was diagnosed with Cancer, but we are standing strong once again as a family and declaring in Jesus name that this time that just ISN'T the case!

I just feel so overwhelmed right now. I feel selfish for even saying it..but its the truth...This last month has just been a landslide and I feel like I am no longer able to just hold it together. Its not just whats going on with Derrek's dad its EVERYTHING! My daddy is having major back surgery tomorrow..and I have to be at at school during the time he will be in surgery. I can't get out of it...trust me I have thought of all the ways. Unfortunately, I have a major test I can't miss and also my school is NOT very sympathetic about missing days. Two days absent you are OUT of that class...NO exceptions. Soo, my anxiety is obviously up about that as well. Also, Derek's mom is Camden's care taker while I am at school. I hope this doesn't even SLIGHTLY sound ungrateful..because that is not how I mean it at all, but obviously she can't watch him in the circumstances of what is going on right now. I wouldn't expect or LET her watch him at the hospital.... I think Camden is actually READY to go to Carson's school..but with ONE income..we can't possibly afford another $400 on top of everything for him to be in Daycare. Our plan is to have him start in January(when I am doing my actual NURSING classes) and then I will have some help from the school with his daycare, but NOW is really the time he needs to be there. So that leaves me with, "What to do with my Cam while I have class" I know lots of people would probably OFFER to watch him, and again I don't want to sound ungrateful. I am thankful for the offers, but at the same time I am his mommy and I have to consider his well being. Not that ANYONE would hurt him but I am nervous about leaving him with someone he hasn't stayed with before. The people whom I DO know and trust to watch him have their own things going on(work, school...ect.) so I wouldn't even dream of inconvienancing anyone else. If I knew that I could do it and not feel guilty or look back and wish I hadn't, then honestly I think I would DROP my micro bio class this quarter! I just feel with all that is going on that I am not devoting the time I want to in actually doing well in the class. I just have to make it another 6 weeks or so and school will be DONE until Jan.... Also did I mention we just have ONE income...well oh yea...let me throw that in...Life on ONE income isn't easy. Yes we make it, yes we aren't starving, yes we have a roof over our heads but that doesn't make it any easier! I am so thankful for Derek he works SOOO hard to support this family and I know he does it with out one bit of bitterness! He fully supports and encourages me finishing school but that doesn't make me feel any less guilty about not helping to provide! .....Ok so you know I think I could go on and on because I have ALOT eating at me right now...but I won't...I will end this here..if you DID read this...SORRY you have to listen to me...well lets just be BLUNT here..BITCH and complain..but today is just one of those days and I needed to let this all out. I have given it all to God. I know that he is hearing my every prayer and he knows just how to take care of it. I fully understand that I alone can't carry all these burdens but he ALONE can help set me free! So Lord..I'm trusting in you and knowing that all things will work out....Oh ya and it also helps that my husband is my voice of reason and always assures me that I am too stressed over nothing! Thank GOD for him! :-)

A whole lot of nothing

2009-10-13T08:00:00.000-07:00

Well I almost feel like I have nothing to blog about, but somewhat feel like I should blog about something because I haven't blogged in over a week!...hmm..soo what to say...

Well first off no more upset tummies in this house! YAY!!!! After three whole weeks, and some pretty yucky diapers I am pleased to announce everything is back to "normal" haha!

Ohhh something else SUPER exciting(probably WAYY more for me than you lol) is that the boys harvest day(or Halloween whichever you prefer or call it) costumes came in and they are SOOOOO cute! I honestly want them just to wear them on a daily basis, because seeing them dressed up in those furry little bear costumes make my heart pitter patter!! :-) Unfortunately for you all, I am going to have to save the big pictures and cuteness for a few more weeks!! Patience is a virtue and trust me I am talking alot more about my patience than yours..I would love nothing more than to post all the cute pictures I have taken thus far of the boys all dressed up but I am practicing patience and going to try and hold off until HARVEST DAY! :-)

Did you know that Carson and Camden are twins????? Well not really, but you would not BELIEVE how many times I get asked on a daily basis. I can see why and although they don't look exactly the same and aren't quite the same size they do strongly resemble! In fact, lately I have realized that I do not treat Camden like a 15 month old at all. To me, he is every bit two years old and I find myself questioning is that right or wrong? I mean he does most things that Carson can do, and although Carson can talk alot better and understands things WAYYYY better, Camden just seems like he is Carson's age. I try and remind myself that Camden is STILL a baby and that maybe I should try and treat him his age, but then I see him and his brother jumping on Carson's bed, or playing on their riding trucks, or climbing on the couch, and I know that he isn't really a baby anymore is he? Yep, there are the twins!!!

Well I guess I better get myself and this little bear ready for school!!! Happy Tuesday Everyone!

Doodle and Little Bear...well maybe

2009-10-05T10:20:00.000-07:00

Although I cannot compare what it is like between parenting a girl and parenting a boy, I do know that being a mom to a boy means ALOT of things......

For instance being a mom to a boy mean you have to accept the fact that they are inevitably going to climb any and everything and try to jump off!!! They will fall face first millions of times, jump off couches, tables or just about anything that will get a reaction out of their mommyand/or innocent company lol!

I cannot count the GASPS I have heard as my children are tumbeling from high in the air, and the crazy looks I get when I barely flinch. When Carson was a baby I used to jump whenver he stumbled, but after MANY bumps and bruises I have learned what really calls for me to run over and pick them up and what mearly is just another day in the life of a mommy to boys!

Here is the proof:

Being a mommy to little boys is so fun, exciting, and never dull! I absolutely LOVE it! Although I am sure I would love a little girl, I have come to the conclusion that if I only have little boys that I will be perfectly ok with that!

Since Carson has been born I have called him Doodle. I don't know how it came to be, but one day he was just my Carson Doodle and it stuck. When Camden was about 3 months old I starting calling him my Little Bear. I guess his mannerisms reminded me of a baby bear cub and so Little Bear it was. He growled like a little cub, would only sleep in VERY dark areas(see he even hibernated like a bear) and had the appetite of a hungry baby bear! Recently, I was calling Carson "Doodle" and he looked up at me and said, " Mommy I not want to be your "Oodle"(as he says it), I want to be your wittle bear and go RAWWWWWWW!" Haha I couldn't help but laugh...I tried to explain to him that he will always be my Carson doodle and that I cannot just change that and he wasn't too happy with my answer. In hopes that he would agree I offered a compromise and said he could be my "Doodle Bear" and although he is still kind of skeptical, he agreed!

I know some people do not celebrate Halloween. We don't "Celebrate" it per sue but we do let our kids dress up and decided that we wouldn't stop them from doing that as long as they didn't try and dress up as an evil figure. No bloody vampires, Goblins, Devils, well you get the picture! We will instill in them that we will celebrate the day as just a harvest day but still let them go around and get candy and be able to wear a fun costume. I want the boys to be cute things that go together. Last year Camden was a cowboy and Carson was his pony. This year I wasn't able to come up with something as clever and although I thought about it for probably HOURS I have not come up with a good "Pair". In honor of Carson wanting to be my other "Little Bear" I decided that is exactly what they will be! I will dress them as my baby cubs! I found the cutest costumes for them on EBAY and can hardly wait to get them all dressed up!!! If you let your kids dress up...what will they be this year????

Acts of Love and Kindness

2009-10-01T06:39:00.000-07:00

Recently, I was chatting with my mom about her women's group at church. My mom lives in Virginia Beach, Va and goes to a HUGE and what sounds like AMAZING church up there. On Wednesday mornings she goes to a group called Wave Women. She shared with my a little about last weeks message and it just struck a cord in my heart! It was so inspiring and touching that I wanted to share it with all of you because it can be applied to just about any and every situation in life. Some of you will read this and be immediately touched, know that God had me blog this just for you today, while others won't feel the impact of this blog for weeks possibly. Either way, I feel it is well worth sharing.

The name of the message was LOVE IN ACTION

The gist of all this is to actually show love(God's love) with your actions, but there are three things you must obey and accept while doing this

1.) You must stay close to God
2.) Prepare yourself to be inconvenienced
3.) Understand that it may cost you

Some of you might be thinking well.... what does that MEAN? well let me just give you a short interpretation(my own) and maybe it will become clearer. Ok I am pretty sure we all understand what "staying close to God means" but what about preparing yourself to be inconvenienced?

Ok, lets say you have a fun night all planned out and it entails you going out to dinner with some friends! As you are walking out the door you get a call from another friend whom you haven't spoken with in a while. She/he tells you they are stranded on the side of the road, and ask you to please come help them. This friend tells you they have called everyone they could think of and you are their last resort. Even though you know this will inconvenience you, and alter your plans you go and help anyway...that is STEP 2-preparing yourself to be inconvenienced. You get there, help your friend get back on their way(maybe they needed gas, a ride, or had a flat tire) and by the time this is all done your other friends have already went out and had fun without you. That is step 3- Understanding that it may cost you!

That right there is love in action. Sometimes, actually MOST of the time we are called to do things in life that we DON'T necessarily want to do. It can be a true hassle, an inconvenience, it can totally disrupt our plans, but that is exactly what God's love in action is. God is working through us all the time using our ACTIONS to spread his LOVE. Keep this in mind today when you are called to do something that you really don't WANT to do...ask yourself is this God trying to spread his love through your actions?

Have a blessed day everyone!

The best things in life

2009-09-29T18:09:00.000-07:00

Today was an absolutely gorgeous day!! Even thought I didn't spend barely ANY time outside....I know from the few moments I did spend outside that it was just one of those days you pray for! I am hoping this weather trend continues and that fall is here to stay!! I adore fall and winter and everything that entails! I love the color of the leaves during fall, the cool afternoons, NO HUMIDITY, pumpkins, the colors ORANGE AND BROWN, and then all the christmas colors, the lights, the smile on everyone's(well ALMOST everyones) faces, the family time, the great food...Ok I know I am going on and on....but its one of the best things in life.

Another one of the best things in life is surrounding yourself with good people! At the risk of sounding completely dorky...I feel like a completely blessed women to have the friends I have in life! Its nice to have people who you can talk to and relate to you in life and I have some great girlfriends for sure!!! Ok so this is probably going to sound so corny, but this past year I have met someone who is so special to me! I know that God put her in my life for a reason and I am so thankful for her! She has become my best friend and I know it was NO mistake that we were brought into each others lives! I feel like I have known her my whole life, even though I haven't and we just have so much in common that its almost scary sometimes! I know that she is someone who will be in my life for a very long time and I am just blessed to have met her and that God has given me such a special friend! I love ya Aaron!! :-)

Another great thing in life is unexpected surprises. Like the sweet card my hubby brought home today! I know sometimes with LIFE and KIDS it's easy to forget about doing sweet little things for each other, but today he just made me whole day with his simple gesture! I didn't have to hint around or ask..he just did it because he thought of me and that is what is so special!! Sweet little things like that are some of the BEST things in life!!

Yep, you can see how blessed you are when you just open your eyes and are thankful for the things that money just can't buy!

Let's agree to disagree

2009-09-27T19:52:00.001-07:00

OK, I want some feedback with this post other MOMMIES! Let me start by saying I love my husband DEARLY! Before we had children, I can remember sitting up late at night and talking about our views on parenting and what kind of things we would and wouldn't let our children do. It was so amazing because we both felt almost the exact same way on so many issues, and that was just more reassurance for me that we were just mean to be. To me, that is one of the most important things you can hope for in a spouse, is someone who shares the same(at least mostly) views and ideas about parenting and raising children. Don't get me wrong, NO ONE can agree on everything. I totally am not oblivious to the fact that inevitably there will be things that we differ on, but for the most part we see eye to eye on just about all things that involve our children. What happens though when something in thrown in the mix and you have different opinions on it though? Funny you should ask....because that is EXACTLY what happened in the Godwin house. Fortunately for us, its a very minor issue lol other wise I don't think I would be blogging about it. Maybe my girlfriends(or guys friends if you read this blog) can give me your feedback and say what YOU do in your family for these type of situations! :-)

My husband and I were raised totally different. He grew up in a very religious home and had a personal relationship with God. Although, I grew up believing in God, and my mom never discouraged us from going to church, we rarely ever did. I want our children to be close with God, and so I am choosing to raise them like my husband was raised. I love how much my husband loves the Lord and I am so thankful that my boys will have such a great example to look up to! I know that I have Derek to thank for the closeness I have with God today, and he truly was my saving grace. Since Derek grew up so close to God, I usually don't question his motives if he tells me he would prefer the boys not watch certain cartoons or movies because he feels they are evil or "new age." Last night however I was reading the boys a book I grew up reading and always thought was cute and Derek said,"He thinks the book is not good for the kids and wants me to throw it away!" I have to say I do NOT agree with him and although the book has some strange looking characters in it, I do NOT think its evil. Maybe a little out there at best, but certainly NOT evil. Here is where I want feedback mommies/or daddies! What do you do in your family when situations arise like this? DON'T get me wrong, we aren't FIGHTING about this or MAD at each other, I just think it will be nice to hear what other families do when the mom and dad agree to disagree??

Ok now on a lighter note...I will wrap this up with some pictures that are SURE to make you smile! SILLY BOYS!!!

This is how Camden drives his boat!

And if you remember in my last post I said Carson likes to do things in his own "special" way....another PRIME example!

These two little boys REALLY love each other!!

Because I am a RANDOM sort of person!

2009-09-24T17:21:00.000-07:00

Yes, you guessed it! Another blog full of a bunch of RANDOMNESS(is that a word? Oh well...it is now!)!!!

*First- THANK YOU ALL for the prayers for my father in law. Although it was determined he had a stroke, he is doing so amazingly well! Our family KNOWS this is due to the prayers of all of you! He is walking very slowly, and relearning how to use his left side, but that is a true BLESSING compared to how bad it could have been!! I know it is hard for him not being able to do all the things he is used to doing everyday(like driving) but he is lucky he has lots of friends and family more than willing to take him anywhere he needs or wants to go! His physical therapist seems extremely confident that he will regain all the feeling in his left side and be able to go back to doing all the things he used to do!

Ok now I will randomly switch to a totally DIFFERENT topic...HAIR

*I recently came across some pictures I have of Carson when he was Camden's age. Here he is Honestly, have you ever seen anything more adorable........... or BALD! I almost forgot how little hair he had until I saw this picture! That boy REALLY couldn't of been any balder! Thank goodness for him he had the most PERFECTLY round head, and being bald was just part of his very special personality! Although Camden doesn't have the HEAD full of hair I thought he would have at this age, he has enough for a "baby hawk" as we call it at our house, and I think it is just too darn CUTE on him lol ! He obviously has a good bit more hair than Carson did at this age, and its darker too! Never did I EVER think I would have a blonde child, but that is exactly what Carson is. He has the prettiest sandy blonde hair, and again its just part of Carson being his special little self! One thing I DID imagine though is that I would have a curly haired child. Alot of people don't know this about me, but I have naturally curly hair, I just straighten it almost everyday! Derek's hair is actually pretty curly too, but since he is a man and keeps it short, you can't tell! It is QUITE obvious a certain little boy I know just may end up with curls too. Can you guess who?
Yes indeed, that is my Carson Doodle! His hair(now that he has some) is curly and I honestly think it is adorable! I am planning to let it grow for a little while! I mean it took his THIS long just to get what you see in those pictures, and I want to enjoy it for a little while before I have to take him for his first hair cut. Just thinking about it makes me sad and a little nervous. He will be at least 3 before that happens, but seeing as he has never even seen someone getting their haircut or had one himself, he will probably think we are CRAZY and wonder what the HECK we are trying to do to him! Guess that will be a memory to write down in his baby book! I don't think I know ANYONE with a 3 year old that is JUST getting their first haircut, but what can I say, Carson has always been a child to do things in a special way...guess this is just one more thing that makes him so unique!

Time for another RANDOM switch lol

*Poor Camden has had an upset stomach since Sunday. I typically try not to get worked up about these kind of things because as long as he isn't dehydrated there isn't a whole lot you can do for that sort of thing. I did the normal routiene for this type of thing, bland foods, pedialyte, cut back on the fruits, etc. Its kind of one of those "Just let it run its course" sort of thing! We had some pretty BADDDDD diapers to say the least, and the topping on the cake was Wednesday morning when I went to get him out of bed(I heard him in his room crying) and not only was HE covered in poop, but so was his bed, blanket and froggy. Usually, I bath both the boys at night before bed, but Camden needed one FIRST thing on this morning. So I stripped him down and put him in. I ran and threw his jammies in the laundry room, and when I headed back into the bathroom, this is what I saw Now, I knew Camden wasn't that short, but what in the world was he doing. Upon CLOSER examination I realized he was laying out like he was at the beach or something lol If you are wondering what that is on his butt, its eczema. Poor baby can't seem to shake that stuff, and I can imagine having an ITCHY butt must be miserable! Isn't that the cutest little naked booty you have ever seen though??? I think his behind was so raw he didn't want the water touching it, but I had to snap a picture of his cuteness!!!

Ok Random AGAIN!
*Carson can do a FLIP! I know, I know, what is so amazing about that? Well..nothing really..but its just cool that he is learning to do things that he couldn't do before, and its a FIRST for him. Here he goes......

And last but not LEAST randomness
*I got an email from GAP this week saying they were having an online casting call for the next faces of baby gap 2010! No question, I knew I needed to enter the boys! Obviously, I am biased but let me give YOU all just a few reasons why they should win....Exhibit A
Exhibit B
Exhibit C
Exhibit D

I think those are some of the most beautiful children I have EVER seen and can TOTALLY see them being the NEXT faces of baby Gap! Ok lol so Yea I know every parent probably thinks this about their child..but it could happen right?

Ok enough rambelings and randomness for tonight :-)

Alot to be THANKFUL for and alot to PRAY about!

2009-09-14T11:02:00.000-07:00

I have so much to be thankful for Lord and I know that! I am so thankful for my beautiful house, my hard working husband, and my healthy, silly little boys! I am OH so thankful for Carson's sweet little heart! I love the way he has the most kind personality sometimes! Last night as I tucked him in he said, "I love you mommy" Of course I responded with "I love you more!" and he said, "I love you more mommy!" ...as I walked out of the room he must of said," Mommy I love you!"10 more times!" Even after I had closed the door, I could still hear him in there professing his love to me! I would periodically walk by and suffice him with an I love you too, but that sweet boy shouted his "I love you's" until he fell asleep!! Goodness Lord, I am so thankful for his little love! I am just as greatful for my silly little Camden! I am oh so in love and thanful for his little scrunched up nose! He makes the most adorable face when he is super happy or mad and I love it! He scrunches up his little nose and its just adorable...see? It is that little face that makes my heart skip a beat! He has the most contagious laugh too!!! Its just about the cutest noise I have ever heard!!! Thank you so much Lord for giving me these two very special little boys!!!

I am SOOOOO Thankful that school is DONE for the quarter! I seriously am in need of a break and I think its well deserved, especially since I will be ending this quarter with two A's and a B! I feel like that is a big accomplishment for someone who has as much going on in life as I do!! I have done the best job I can do and I am just PRAYING I get accepted into the nursing program! I have completedall my core classes and I have submitted everything I need to be accepted. I won't know for sure if I have been accepted until possibly as last as December and the nursing Program starts January...PRAY FOR FAVOR PLEASE! I feel like I have worked very hard. I have a GPA of 3.6- which = 3 A's and 2 B's and I scored high on the nursing entrance exam so I am just hoping I have God's favor and everything works in his perfect plan for me!!!

ok, now I think its time to ask for something a little more important. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray for my father in law. As many of you are aware, Derek's dad has been through so much lately! Last year he overcame stage 4 lung cancer, and now he is going through a whole new thing and we just aren't sure what is happening at the moment. For the last few months Derek's dad has been having dizzy spells. He will get very dizzy and sometimes he is doing nothing but just sitting down. WEll he had set up an appt to see his Dr.(the appt was supposed to be today) and yesterday(Sunday) Derek's mom called us while we were at at birthday party and asked Derek to come right away, she explained that his daddy was having a horrible dizzy spell and that he had been laying on the couch for over an hour and couldn't get up! Derek and I (along with the kids) rushed to his house, about 5 mins before we got there his mom called again and said for him to get there QUICK because his dad was starting to shake, and was kind of crumpled over! Derek FREAKED and put the petal to the floor(thank you GOD for your protection)! When we got there, Derek's dad couldn't get up and Derek and his brother in law Scott had to CARRY his dad out of the house and into the truck! Derek told me to follow him to the hospital and off we went! Poor Derek's mom was crying and the whole family was just a nervous wreck! When we got to the hospital and Derek tried to get his daddy out of the truck, he again could bare no weight on his legs and just crumpled really out of the car. My sweet husband is now sobbing at this point and just hearbroken seeing his daddy like this! They immediately took him back and ran many test, all with no answers. They admitted him over night and he is STILL completely numb on his left side of the body! At this point the nuerologist is saying he feels a stroke is the cause, but he said he will NOT stop until he has a certain answer as to what is wrong. We all had a very hard time seeing Derek's dad in this condition. He was and still is NOT acting himself. He is doing very strange things and moving his body without even knowing what he is doing. PLEASE PRAY FOR HIM!!!!! He is really an amazing man, and loved by many. He is Carson's very best friend and it would just devistate all of us if something happens to him!!! I know God is in control and that he is wrapping his arms around our family right now, but this is just a very scary time for us and we need all the uplifting and prayers we can get! I will keep everyone updated as we know more!!

Our weekend with the FLU

2009-09-06T16:38:00.001-07:00

It all started Friday morning. Derek was getting Carson ready to go to school( I call it school, I guess its really daycare. They do learn lots so humor me and call it school too lol) . Anyways, back to what I was saying...Ahemmmm... so Derek was getting Carson ready for school and I could hear Carson crying and not being his normal happy self. Although I do not have school on Friday, I usually use that day to get all the things I cannot get done during the week. I typically do alot of cleaning and studying on those days and I have Cam here with me. I got up out of bed and Derek said to me, " I don't think Carson is feeling good, maybe he should stay home with you today!" I could just look at Carson and tell Derek was right. I felt his forehead and he didn't feel warm, but I asked Carson if he would like to stay home and go back to sleep with mommy, and he said, "yes!" So, it was off to sleep we went. We slept until about 8:30 and then got up to eat some breakfast. Carson and Cam played and Carson seemed in a much better mood than the first time he woke up. He had a strange dry cough, but nothing I would even think to worry about. About 10:30 I noticed Carson was very quiet. Him and Camden were watching cartoons, and I looked at Carson and it was unmistakable. His little face was beat red, his eyes puffy and swollen, and I felt his head...HE WAS BURNING UP! I took his temp. and sure enough 102.8! It all happened so fast. I immediately gave him tylenol and called the Ped. center. They told me to bring him in around 1:15. I hurried and got all of us ready and then dropped Cam off at his Meme's house. Those of you with two children can agree, two babies in a Dr's office is more than alot of work, its exhausting. Plus, I knew Carson needed his mommy's undivided attention. We got to the Dr. they brought us right back and took his temp. Even after the tylenol it was still high, infact it had increased to 103.1! The Dr. took one look at Carson and said, "Mom, I hate to tell you this but I can almost guarentee you he has the flu." Then he proceeded to say, "And there is a very good chance its H1N1(better known as the SWINE Flu)" I sat there and just was shocked. How in the WORLD did my baby get the swine flu. The swabbed his nose(which was NOT an easy task, he wasn't HAVING it at all) and we waited for the results. Sure enough, he tested positive for both flu A and Flu B- which is a sure sign of swine flu. The dr. wrote us a prescription for Tamiflu and sent us home with the fear of knowing this is very easily spreadable!

The first night was pretty bad. Carson was miserable. His fever was up and down and he would look at his daddy and I with the most pitiful face and say, "Mommy , Daddy...I don't feel good....I HURT!" He had me in tears several times. It is hard hearing that sweet voice tell you how bad they feel. Cam seemed to be weathering fine and I just held out hope that JUST maybe he would be spared. Keeping them seperated with impossible though. They are brothers and love to be around each other. I did my best, but it wasn't easy. We let Carson sleep with us that night because his fever was around 104 and not breaking and we were just worried sick about him. It didn't hurt either that he BEGGED to sleep with us. It was a ROUGH night to say the least. He spent most of the night coughing and his daddy and I spent most of the night tossing and turning. Here is Carson probably at his sickest, laying in Mommy's lap

Saturday we all got up and it was obvious that no matter the precautions, it had gotten to Cam too! Same dry cough, puffy eyes and red face. I felt his head, sure enough he was warm. I immediately called the Ped center and they were nice enough to just go ahead and call Tamiflu in to the pharmacy for Camden. No need to see him, it was quite obvious what was wrong with him. I think Saturday was the hardest, both boys were needing their mommy, and Derek had to work. I did the best I could, I made them both as comfortable as possible, and kept them hydrated. I knew Camden had to be feeling pretty bad because he had absolutely NO desire to eat. Anyone who knows him knows this is NOT him at all. That boy EATS any chance he is given. Guess I need to just say, THANK GOD FOR PEDIALYTE. When Derek got home it took a big load of me, I was able to hop in the bath and run to town to grab Cam's meds and stock up on more pedialyte and motrin. By that night Carson was doing better. He was still running a fever, and acting kind of puney, but he wasn't lethargic anymore and was moving around a little better. Camden on the other hand was the sickest I have ever seen him. He was burning up and just looked pitiful. He layed in my lap or his daddy's and just moaned. It was pretty heart wrenching. His daddy and I prayed over him and just ask God to give his little body some relief. Around 7ish I took his temp and it was 103. I dosed him with tylenol and gave it a little time. After an hour still no change so I gave him motrin and again waited. By 9:30 it was still 103 and I was getting worried, so I broke out the rags, got them cool and put them on his head. Here he is sitting with daddy, trying to get his fever to break
I am not sure it ever did, but he feel asleep I must of held him for a few hours and just listened to him breathe. I honestly felt helpless, and my mommy instincts were having a hard time accepting that I couldnt fix this or make it all better.

This morning(Sunday) Carson was almost back to his old self. He was running a low grade fever, but his silly little spirit was renewed and it was very relieving! My little bear on the other hand was still burning up and I wasn't really sure his fever had ever broken from the night before. His daddy just held him and rocked him and it was pitiful just listening to him whimper. I again dosed him up with some tylenol and waited. After an hour had went by and nothing had changed I was ready to load him up and head to the ER. I couldn't stand to sit there and watch my baby be so miserable. After going back in fourth in my head though, I reasoned with myself and came to the conclusion that taking him there would probably be a waste. I knew there was nothing they could really do for him. I knew I could do just as much as they could here at home and he would probably be alot more comfortable here too. Since Carson was feeling better he was my little helper boy. He fed Camden some rainins for me see

As the afternoon has progressed, God has answer our prayers and BOTH boys are feeling better. Their fevers are still around 101-102 but they are getting their energy and silly little personalities back. As much as I am so sad this happened to them, it was nice getting to be their MOMMY. They wanted me, they wanted my love and affection. Just me sitting and rocking them was medicine to them. Corny as it is, Mommy and Daddy's love helped them get better. There is NO better feeling in the world than knowing you are someones hero and protector and this weekend made me just thank God that I am these sweet boys mommy! Unfortunantly, I am not feeling so good now, but I will push through and just be thankful my baby boys are OK! :-)

This is them NOW, watching some Dora, and feeling much better!

The moments that make my heart SMILE!

2009-08-30T19:55:00.000-07:00

In past posts I have blogged about Carson and his non-existent potty enthusiasm. When I first hopped on the potty wagon, I just envisioned Carson knowing exactly what to do, catching on with no problems, and this whole potty thing being a piece of cake. I WAS WRONG! After many packs of pull-ups, a child who had NO interest in going on the toilet whatsoever, and a mom(ME)who was thinking that she'd end up with a 6 year old still in diapers, things were NOT going as planned. After meeting with some other moms at a Breastfeeding group I go too( I know, WEIRD..I don't even breastfeed anymore, but I got attached to the other moms there and haven't been able to ween myself away yet lol) I got some helpful advice, and a new determination. I have heard so many things lately about just letting the child be naked and that way if they do go on the floor they can actually visuialize what exactly they are doing. This is about the LAST thing I wanted to do. I could just SEE myself spending the day scrubbing poopy and pee out of my carpet. With much hesitation though, I knew I needed to give it a try. So Saturday I decided it was now or never. I took off Carson's diaper and put him on his potty. I explained to him that he was a big boy now and no longer needed to wear a diaper. I told him that if he felt the urge that he should go on the potty and not on the floor. Nervous as I was, I just crossed my fingers and prayed for the best! The best is EXACTLY what I got, Carson caught on immediately and only had ONE accident on the floor(and he did it was right next to the potty) other than that, he used the potty everytime he had to go that afternoon! Yes, there is that proud little boys using his potty like a pro! I think Camden wanted in on the action too, but he will have to wait his turn! Sunday, we went to church and I put him in a pullup because we have a strict policy in our church nursery that unless a child is FULLY potty trained they must wear a diaper or pullup! When he had the pullup on not ONCE did he ask to use the bathroom. I was not happy when I heard this, but I expected it because to him a pullup is just a diaper. After church, I went to walmart and bought him a package of new big boy underwear, I was determined not to give up! When he woke up from his nap Sunday, I took off the pullup and showed him what I had bought. Carson was soo excited, they have cars on them and he loves them. Here he is in his new undies! Can you guess what happened after I put those on? NO ACCIDENTS the rest of the day. He went on the potty every single time! Its amazing what not having a diaper or pull ups on has done for him! I don't even have to ask if he needs to go, he just goes to the bathroom, does his stuff, and then comes out and say with the biggest smile, "MOMMY I DID IT!" I am so proud of him! Today, he went off to school in big boy undies. I was slightly hesitant, but I have faith that he will do well. Derek said he didn't pee at all on the way to school and as soon as he walked in the door, he told his teacher he needed to potty! WAY TO GO CARSON! :-)

Other moments that make my heart smile are ones like this When Carson and his daddy are so preciously asleep on the couch! Soo sweet!

Or this When Camden has the cutest, cheesiest, smile on his face!

Yes, I have ALOT of reason for my heart to smile!

Doctor, Doctor...give me the news!

2009-08-28T18:14:00.000-07:00

Many of you probably aren't aware that I have been having some medical issues lately! Irregular and sometimes NO periods, tiredness, trouble loosing weight(no matter the constant exercise and dieting), and lots of emotions rising up and crashing down. At first glance these symptoms scream PREGNANCY! EEEEEKKKK! Yea, that is what I thought too. Just the though of being pregnant right now can almost make me burst into tears! Don't get me wrong, we WANT more children, but now is just not the right time! I have so much going on with school and lets not forget I have two BABIES here at home, both still in diapers. Adding a third baby to the mix just is asking for pure chaos! I know something is just not right with my body though. Don't worry I am NOT pregnant! Actually, my Dr. and I very much think it's my thyroid and that is something that hopefully will easily be treated with medication! I won't know for sure that is the problem until Monday, but I did go to my Dr. today and we did the blood work to get a for sure result. I did however rule out that pregnancy is definitely NOT the problem though :)

What I LOVE about my life!!!

2009-08-23T17:58:00.000-07:00

WARNING: This has the potential to be a long blog! It will be filled with lots of updates and fun things to know about :-)

I(probably like many of you) spend a fair amount of time complaining. It is fair to say that I have moments of weakness when I forget all that I have and start complaining about all that I don't have!! I thought I would post a blog and just layout all I am truly thankful for and give some updates while doing it because its been a few weeks since I blogged!!! I think it would be a neat things for all of you to do too! '

*What I love about my life 1* My FAMILY! :)
I love that I have a hard working husband who is QUITE good looking if I do say so myself, and who is an amazing dad to our kids. I love that I have two little boys who could ALMOST pass for twins, but have such different personalities. I love that although they aren't even CLOSE to being perfect, well behaved children, that they do have a very sweet and loving side! I absolutely LOVE the way they love each other. Just about nothing makes me smile bigger than Carson asking me where is "Bubba" or they way he says, "Cam C'mon, lets go Bubba" when he wants him to come play!

I LOVE God and my church. I love the people there and the good feeling I get when I walk in on Sunday morning. I LOVE LOVE LOVE working in our church nursery. Allot of you are probably thinking after having two kids of my own, why would I want to deal with other peoples, but honestly it isn't like that at all. I am creating bonds with all these children. I love playing with them and watching my children get to interact with them too, and how could you not love moments like THIS one? Two sweet babies snuggled up in my lap? Yes, life is good!

I LOVE(and I mean SERIOUSLY LOVE) Target. I love the way I can spend hours on end in that store and still not be ready to go. I love the dollar bins when you first walk in, and all the cool stuff I find in there. I love their baby clothes, and their women's lounge wear(SOOO CUTE!) and I LOVE that they have a Starbucks there so I can order whatever my little heart desires that day! Weather it be a Mocha Frap, or a Hot Chocolate....*Sigh*Life is SO good!

I LOVE Kohls just about equally as much as Target! I love how I can get my whole family new clothes there and feel soo good about they money I spent. I love how they send me 15-20% off coupons regularly, which gives me a GREAT excuse to cruise on down there and put that savings to use!!!

I love my friends! Life would be so boring without them! I love the way we laugh together about silly things and are always there for each other when we need to be! I love hanging out with them and letting our kids play together. I really am thankful that God has blessed me with such great people in my life! I guess this one won't have a picture because there would be too many friends to put up here, but you all know who you are! :)

As much as I hate to admit this....I LOVE SCHOOL! I know, I know, I am a DORK! I can't help but love how accomplished I feel while I am there. Although it is extremly challenging, time consuming and stressful, I am oh so proud of myself for working so hard to pursue my dreams! *I equally love those nice little BREAKS from school that I get too though :-)......speaking of...one of THOSE is coming up very soon!!!

Guess my point in doing this is just to remind MYSELF mostly how much I have in life that is good! It gets too easy sometimes to focus on the negative and I don't think that is very pleasing to God. I am a lucky girl and I need to remind myself sometimes! :-)

Old Folks

2009-08-09T05:09:00.000-07:00

Yall, I truly am OLD. No, I don't look old(infact, I frequently have fellow students GAWK when I say I am married with children, they say I look too young)but deep down I am! I am OLD inside I guess. I never, EVER thought this would be me, but it is and I am embracing it!

Here is why I say I am SO old

Old folks example #1- my husband likes to watch UFC which usually doesn't end until between 12 and 1 a.m. We usually have company over who enjoy watching it with us, but LONG before the fight is over, I have told my company, and my husband good night and am OFF to sleep in my bed! Maybe that seems extremely rude, but it seems extremely RATIONAL to me because no matter how late I choose to stay up, my children will not care and STILL but up by 7:30. I am NOOOOOO fun when I haven't had enough sleep, so I choose to sleep instead of stay up late.

Old folks example #2- I am getting so set in my ways. I find myself needing things to be "just so" and not wanting to conform to anything else.

Old folks example #3- I find myself saying "Kids these days", and, "Back when I was growing up". I mean MY GOODNESS I am 22, not 85. Back when I was GROWIN UP ..is still NOW ...so what in the world am I doing saying these things!

Yep, its official...I AM OLD...Oh shoot..late for Bingo night...got to go!.......... :-)

JUST KIDDING

The bi-polars of parenting!

2009-08-01T08:50:00.001-07:00

I truly hope I am not the only mom out there feeling this way! If you can agree please comment and say AMEN lol

So, today as I am trying to clean my house spic and span, and manage to very active children, I started to realize how being a parent can truly make you seem a little bi-polar. I woke up this morning to two adorable, bright eyed boys who were just as sweet and loving as they could be. I made them breakfast and we laughed and played. We sang songs and did lots of fun snuggle time! I turned on cartoons and my Doodle(carson) said, "Mommy sit and watch Dora." He wanted me to sit with him and snuggle while we watched Dora. I thought my heart would BURST from how much love I was feeling towards my little guys.

I looked around my house and knew cleaning was way over due. I have cleaned my house many times with both boys here, and although it can be challenging, the job gets done. I started with the guest bathroom, because it is very easy to see my living room from there, hence I can see the boys watching cartoons. As I am scrubbing the tub, I realize it is all too quiet and decide to just take a peek at the boys. I see Carson standing in front of the couch, milk carton in hand and I get an overwhelming pit in my stomach. As I round the corner, terror sets in and I find that Carson has hit an all time high with this little stunt he has pulled. You see apparently Carson thinks he is grown and decided to get his cereal bowl and fill it with milk. Even if he had done this at the kitchen table, it would of been bad, but COME ON, why did he have to choose the couch? Are you getting a mental picture yet. Yup, you guessed it, a couch cushion FULL of milk :). Thank goodness I have leather couches, but still clean up was a JOB! That is when the SCREAMING lunatic came into play! I screamed, popped his little hinny and sent him to his room! Holy moly..I went from loving mommy to crazy lady in 2.5 seconds! After taking a few moments to calm down, I calmly went into Carson's room and explained to him that if he needs something he should ask ME and not take it upon himself to do it. He told me he was sorry and that he would NOT go in my fridge again......I won't hold my breath! ;-)

I love my boys more than life itself. I wouldn't trade a moment with them for anything in this world, but I must admit they know how to make a woman crazy!.....Oh don't worry I'm back to "over-the moon in love" mommy mood...but that could change in a matter of seconds! :)

Baby #3!!

2009-07-29T09:09:00.000-07:00

CALM DOWN! No baby number three is NOT on his/her way, has NOT been conceived, and is NOT trying to be conceived! :)

Just thoughtI would write a post about this baby who isn't even in the making yet. Since Camden has turned one, it seems everyone is asking when we will try again! I always laugh inside when people say that. I too am guilty of asking when a couple will "try again", but isn't the phrase "try again" funny! It sounds like you might not have got it right the first time, so you need to "TRY AGAIN!"

Well as for Mr. and Mrs. Godwin(us), we have a plan. Plans don't always go as expected, but I really am hoping and praying ours does! As most know, I am a full time student. I still have about 2 years left of school before I am an OFFICIAL R.N. and that needs to be FULLY accomplished before baby number three is even an option. I am expected to graduate Summer of 2011 and hopefully will be placed into a job immediately! I have thought long and hard about when I would like baby number three to be born and I really want a October or November baby! That means I would have to conceive January/February and that would work out very nicely because that will be about 4 or 5 months after I have graduated and I will hopefully be into a very nice career by then! So, if all goes according to plan baby number three will be conceived hopefully early in 2012. Carson will be 5 and Camden will be about 3 and 1/2 and that sounds like a GREAT time to bring in a new addition! It doesn't hurt that they will both be in school when baby number 3 makes their arrival either! :)

I totally understand that my life is ALREADY planned out by someone else. God knows every detail that will unfold in front of me even before it happens and I am just merely here to follow the path he has for me. God and I have been doing lots of talking lately though and I know he knows the desires of my heart! He knows my heart longs for more children but he also knows I have dreams I am chasing and pursuing too. :)

Yup, Im going to be a bear!

2009-07-24T09:48:00.001-07:00

Ok So I don't believe in next lives..I know I will spend eternity in Heaven once I am gone off this earth. If I DID believe in next lives though, I would come back as a bear...Want to know why? Well here you go!......

In my next life I want to be a bear.

If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months.

I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid.

I could deal with that, too.

If you're a bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs.

I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.

I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat. He KNOWS not to get between you and the food.

Yup..... Gonna be a bear.

A few good points

2009-07-20T07:05:00.000-07:00

So since I have posted in a while, this one could be completely random because I want to write about a few things!!

Thing 1- Camden is OFFICIALLY a one year old! His party was such a blast! Before Camden was born his theme was already deemed frogs. It started when I found this bedding by Lambs and Ivy called Froggy Tales seen HERE: and I fell in LOVE with it. Until he was born I found FROGGY things all over the place and couldn't stop myself from buying them. Even his first outfits he ever wore were frog decorated. Including a very sweet sleeper that I still can't seem to make myself get rid of seen here: Anyways, so it only seemed right to have a froggy first birthday. At first I was disappointed because I couldn't seem to find the perfect frog party stuff anywhere. I searched and searched until at last...I FOUND IT! His party turned out perfect and here are the pictures of proof....

So what should I note about Cam at a year old"
* Well he is weighing a WHOPPING 26lbs and 6ozs and is 31 and 3/4 inches tall(90% for his height and weight) He is a big guy and you would think after carrying him around for months I would have arms of steel-NOT SO MUCH :) Carson calls him BUBBA and its actually fitting because he is...and my mom likes to call him BRUISER which is truly fitting too! :)

*He is walking fairly decent now! He still stumbles and chooses to crawl some of the time but I would consider him a walker.

*He EATS and EATS and EATS! If there is food around....he's eating it. Guess that makes since for a growing boy! I was a little concerned with his eating and weight but his Dr. assured me that he is perfectly healthy and that since his height and his weigh are BOTH measuring in sync with each other than he is actually perfectly proportioned!

*He is SILLY, SILLY, SILLY and I love him

Thing 2- School is so CRAZY this quarter. I am taking three pretty intense classes and add being a mother and wife on top of that and you get CHAOS! Unlike working a job which you typically work during the week and get weekends off, school you still are working all weekend on homework! Sometimes I think each teacher assumes you only have THEIR class to worry about. They load on PILES of homework as if you have nothing else to do but concentrate on their class, maybe they didn't get the memo about all the other classes I am taking too! Thank goodness quarters are only 10 weeks and I am already on week 3! COME ON WEEK 10 :)

Thing 3- Carson is SOMEWHAT potty training. I never imagined how hard this would be, and sometimes I just have to remind myself I am learning too. Carson is my FIRST born and as much as I hate to admit it, my TRAIL AND ERROR child. I can only do the best I know how to with him and I am sure with Camden I will have pitched out all the bad things that didn't work with Carson and have a refined game plan. Basically we aren't hard core PUSHING the potty thing. I have realized that doesn't work at all with Carson and letting him want to do it is the only way. He tells me he needs to go and does, but it isn't consistent. Some days he will tell me twice and some days none. His school is working with him too which helps, but I just wish it would become a constant thing already. Maybe some of you are appalled that I have a 2 and 1/2 year old not potty trained, but I am just doing the best I can do here.

Thing 5- Just wanted to briefly comment on the JON and Kate matter. I have to wonder what Jon's kids are thinking about his new g/f! I can't help but wonder if he has explained it to them or if they are just having to hear it 3rd hand from the media? I am not one to judge, but she doesn't seem like ANYONE I would want step parenting my children. Thankfully I don't ever see myself in that situation. I truly am sorry this family fell apart. :(

Well I think I have touched on enough for today don't you!

MY Own Miracle

2009-07-10T05:40:00.000-07:00

A year ago today, I was getting hooked up to monitors, and preparing to be induced and meet someone who didn't really seem real to me yet. I remember having so many emotions pouring through me. Half of me could hardly hold back the tears thinking that Carson would no longer be our ONLY son, and how he may hate us for bringing someone else in and taking away his spotlight. Yes, I know some of you may be thinking these are weird thoughts, but this is actually true honesty here, and these were really my raw emotions. The other half of me had already grown attached to this person inside me, and although I had no idea what he would look like, I pictured holding this tiny little guy and it just feeling RIGHT.

My labor zoomed by fast that day. I got there at 8a.m, close to 4 cms dilated and 80% effaced, and by 2o'clock,after having my water broken and an epidural, I was already feeling the urge to push. I pushed with everything I had, and I made great progress. At 2:51p.m Camden emerged with his tiny hand right by his face! I will never forget the first time I saw him, It was without a doubt LOVE. I took one look at his face, and the tears just came like a summer rain. I just held him and bawled, and it was then I knew the true meaning of unconditional love. Not even really KNOWING this little boy, I loved him unconditionally and forever.

I still felt I was missing someones seal of approval. Later that day I got it. Seeing Carson meet Camden for the first time was so amazing. He walked into the room with my mom and sister and they said "OK there he is" and Carson without any hesitation, marched right over to him and said "MY BABY!" then proceeded to give him a kiss on his little dark haired head. All my fears were washed away. It was if Carson had known all along this baby was coming and that he was HIS. To this day Carson still tells people Camden is "HIS BABY BUBBA!"

The months have flown by since then. We had some tough times with his horrible reflux, and non-antibiotic responding ears, but you know what I wouldn't trade for anything in this WORLD! Camden came into this family,and fit just like a perfect piece to the puzzle. God doesn't make mistakes with timing. I can remember before he was born thinking it was too soon for Carson not to be the baby anymore, but now I realize I have given Carson so much more than I ever could have imagined. I have give him his BEST FRIEND. Ask anyone who sees them together and you will know that couldn't be more true. They have a special brotherly bond that makes my heart smile!

Camden you are SO loved. Anyone who meets you falls in love with your silly little personality and that contagious smile! I have only known you for a year,but you are truly one of the loves of my life, and I could never picture my world without you in it! I cannot wait to watch you continue to grow and thrive. Thank you God for making Camden MY BABY :).

oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAMDEN RAY GODWIN, My sweet little bear

Witnessing a Miracle From A Different Side Of Things!

2009-06-28T14:43:00.000-07:00

Well as most of you know I have given birth twice, and it is without a doubt the most AWESOME thing I have ever experienced! Although many may think this next statement is CRAZY, but I think I could have a 10 children just to experience the feeling of giving birth and the amazing euphoric high you feel afterwards(not to mention the little miracle you get out of the deal :) ) Although I have experienced myself, I have never in real life seen anyone else actually give birth...well until now!

I met Aaron last fall and her and I quickly became VERY good friends! It is one of those friendships(at least on my part haha) that although we haven't known each other that long, I feel as if we have been best friends since childhood. We just GET each other. We are so much alike it scares me sometimes, but I have this strong feeling that our friendship is the kind that will never die and we will be little old ladies playing bingo one day! She told me it better NOT after what all she let me see!

Anyways, back to the story, Aaron and her husband Steven were expecting their first child. They were letting the baby's gender be a surprise and Aaron really wanted a natural childbirth. A week after her due date(June 16th) she gave decided to let the Dr's induce, but she STILL wanted this to be a pain med free experience! She told me that she would like me to be there during the labor and I was just tickled pink! Since Aaron isn't from here, she really doesn't have any family here besides her husbands. When she asked me to be in the room I felt HONORED because I knew she was counting on me for support! She had told me previously that she wasn't sure if she would want anyone but Steven in the room during the actual delivery part, and I was completely fine with this because I know how special and emotional that time is for a mommy and daddy. When induction day rolled around, I was so anxious to get to the hospital. I arrived around noon June 26th and she was 5 cms and they had broken her water, but not yet started any pitocin. I think her midwife was hoping her body would jump start into labor after they broke her water, but sadly that wasn't the case. Around 2ish they decided to start pitocin. She was still 5 cms and almost completely effaced. I think we all at that point though we may be in for a long day! When the pitocin started REALLY taking its effect, I could see Aaron was beginning to feel true pain. She was so amazing though she just breathed through the contractions and her husband and I both just kept reminding her how awesome she was! There came a point a few hours later where I could tell she was REALLY REALLY REALLY hurting, the midwife came and and checked her and said she was around 6 cms and the baby had dropped lower into her birthing canal. I think only dilating one more centimeter was slightly discouraging though for Aaron because she was thinking things should of progressed more by this point. I could see how much pain she was in and it was a crazy feeling because I kept feeling myself want to cry. I kept thinking about how hard it was seeing someone I cared about hurting and knowing I couldn't do anything to help. I know at this point the epidural option was really crossing Aaron's mind. I wanted her to do whatever it was that was truly going to make her happy without putting my opinion or experiences in(because YES I did have epidurals with both my boys). Lucky for me, her nurse(who was defiantly a God send) came in and reminded Aaron how bad she knew she wanted a natural birth, and reassuring her that she could indeed get through this! That was a turning point for Aaron. It was like at that moment she pushed out ANY thought of pain relief, and started focusing on getting through the pain on her own and meet her bundle of joy! Here is Aaron doing such a beautiful job getting through some tough contractions(and this just has to be one of the most beautiful pictures I have ever taken) I love the way her sweet husband is looking at her and getting her through it. It didn't take long for that unforgettable feeling that most of us moms can relate to of "I've GOT TO PUSH!" I knew things were getting close, and I was so excited and anxious for her, but I remembered her saying that she wasn't sure about anyone else being in the room. I was ready to leave when she asked me to stay and of course I was elated! What an honor for someone to let you be there for the birth of their baby. I watched in amazement for maybe a whole 30 minutes as she pushed and saw this head with lots of dark hair start to emerge! Here she is pushing like a pro. Even her midwife kept commenting on how awesome of a pusher she was, as if she'd birthed three children before. I immediately started bawling my eyes out(probably more than I had with my own children) and was so anxious to see if I was going to be welcoming a little Peyton Marie or Wyatt Lewis! By this time Steven was crying like a baby and Aaron was giving it all she had, and then faster than I could even process this tiny body emerged. I waited to hear those three magic words, and then they came...."ITS A GIRL!"

Yep, PEYTON MARIE was born at 7:13 p.m. weighing 7lbs 8ozs and 20 inches long! She was beautiful, and perfect see

I couldn't of been more proud of Aaron. She is so strong and made natural childbirth TRULY look easy! Infact, so easy that I plan on doing it next time around myself! Seeing Peyton come into this world was truly an honor and a life changing experience! I have a sweet place for her in my heart and she will FOREVER be special to me! Thank you GOD for putting Aaron, Steven and now Peyton Marie into my life! :)

And I Thought I Loved You Then

2009-06-21T06:49:00.000-07:00

10 years ago, I remember sitting at a high school football game with two girlfriends, flirting with these cute guys behind us. I'll never forget how one of the guys picked on me and my curly hair, or how I pretended to have no interest what so ever in him either. I couldn't possibly forget how those butterflies in my tummy felt 9 or so months later when he kissed me. Yes, if you are counting back the years in this you will realize I was just a mere 13(well by the time he kissed me 14 THANK YOU :) ) and although I had probably written my first name with his last name 100000000 times, never did I imagine I would really be signing checks that way, seeing it on our bills, and hearing people say it aloud. Yes, of course I am talking about Derek.

Don't get me wrong, Derek and I didn't have this perfect high school sweetheart love. We actually didn't "date" in high school much at all. After that initial "puppy love" thing, we both went our separate ways, dated other people, but somehow(No, not somehow at all, of COURSE it was God) we found our way back to each other. We wondered what had taken both of us so long. Guess God has his perfect timing or maybe it was that free will thing that had been in our way! Whatever the case, now here we are, together for 4 years now, happily married for 3, and super proud parents for 2. It is amazing how life plays out!

How could I have known at 13 that the night of that football game I would be meeting the father or my children, my husband, my soul mate? I couldn't have! I am so glad Derek is my husband though. He is not perfect, WE are not perfect. We fight over stupid things, but we honestly love each other and no matter what comes our love is FOREVER!

I remember the night we found out we were pregnant with Carson. I was terrified, but Derek was the most excited man on the planet! I'll never forget the look on his face, the biggest smile in the world, and how he couldn't wait to tell anyone who would listen. I should of known right then he would be the world's most amazing father. After Carson was born, I would listen to friends say, "Well my husband doesn't change diapers!", or "My husband won't get up in the middle of the night" and I just smiled because I knew Derek does all those things. What could make you love a man more than creating a life with him, and seeing him go above and beyond to help that life grow and thrive? NOTHING! When Camden came along I was scared Derek and I couldn't love someone like we did Carson. I was wrong, because the moment I saw Camden come into this world I was head over heals, over the moon, in love. I will never forget those first precious days with Camden, seeing Derek hold him and kiss him, change his first POOPY diaper :). I knew he felt the same way I did, it was LOVE. I fall in love with him all over again everytime I see him snuggle up with Camden, or read Carson his nightly bedtime story. Derek is without a doubt an example of what a Dad should be.

Sometimes I am forgetful about how lucky I am to have Derek. Today, I couldn't possibly forget. Today is father's day and instead of being here with us (Where he should be) he is working. I know not because he wants to, but because that is the providing man he is. He has to get this job done, and Derek is a man of his word. That is what I love about him, he doesn't make me false promises. He tells me he will do something and he always follows through. I guess that is why I never question if our love is forever, because he promised me it was and I know that it is!

Derek I love you more than words can say, without you I'd be lost. You are an amazing man of God, father, and my best friend!

There is a first time for everything

2009-06-18T06:22:00.000-07:00

As humans, we are probably always experiencing SOMETHING for the first time. More when we are younger than adults, but even adults have first time experiences quite often. There are a ton of things that if I ever get to experience it will be my first time, like going on a cruise for example. That is something that hopefully one day will be a "first" for me. I have never eaten at a fondue restaurant, so if I ever visit one, again it will be my FIRST TIME. Although, isn't it funny how we react so differently to a baby doing something for the "first time." We gush with pride and excitement. I know unlike a baby, if/when I visit that first fondue restaurant, there will NOT(well at least I hope not) be a crowd of people around saying "YAY Hallie, aww you're such a big girl now, I am SOOOOOOO proud of you, YAY!!!!" As for Camden and Carson, the first time they do ANYTHING I think I will always be right there, grinning from ear to ear, cheering them on!

This week has been a week of first for Camden! The first "first" he experienced this week was drinking(without me trying to force him) out of a sippy cup. A Month or so ago, I purchased some sippy cups for him with a semi-soft spout. The wrapping said for ages 7+ months so I figured this would be perfect to start him with. Unfortunately, he did not agree. He wanted NOTHING to do with this thing, and he had no problem letting me know it. With Carson, I started him on a sippy cup most moms are probably familiar with called "Nuby." The spouts are super soft and to be honest almost bottle like just with a different shape. I didn't want to start Camden on that because it just seems pointless to take them off a bottle just to put them on really another bottle. So, basically I just put the sippy cup idea aside and decided I would try again around his birthday. Fortunately for me, Camden is a child full of surprises and about two weeks ago I started noticing him getting a hold of Carson's sippy cups and taking sips out of them. Keep in mind, Carson's cups are NOT soft whatsoever, they are hard topped, and have no flexibility in the nipple. I was impressed, so this week I thought, you know, I will make Camden a sippy cup of juice in a one of the hard topped sippys and see what happens. Sure enough he took right too it and is sipping like a pro! GO CAMDEN! Here is a picture of him during MID sip :)

Another big first this week was drinking REAL milk. This past weekend while doing my weekly grocery shopping, I remembered I was almost out of formula. I sat there staring at that can of GOOD START NATURAL CULTURES and its price of $27.99 a can, and I decided right then I was going to just TRY real milk and see what happens. I knew that at his 12 month check up(which is now less than a month away) his Dr. will recommend him switch to whole milk anyways. I weighed the pros and cons and decided worst case of scenario he hated it and I have to go buy a can of formula, that was a risk worth taking in my opinion. So, that night, I poured him his first cup of milk and just as I had hoped, he LOVED IT! No more formula for this baby, he is now an official Organic MILK DRINKER! :)

I saved the BIGGEST first for last of course. Unfortunately, I don't have a picture to share because it keeps happening before I can run and get my camera, but Camden took his first step this week! He is not walking, but he will stand and then take a step, and usually fall shortly after. In my eyes, HUGE progress though, and I have no doubts he will be walking by his birthday, which is quickly approaching now! Even thought this is my second child, I still am amazed at how quickly it all goes by. I cannot believe almost a year has gone by since I first layed eyes on this beautiful child God gave me that we call CAMDEN! :)

Ending this post with a cute picture I caught of the boys this week!

We live in a sick sad world!

2009-06-10T05:20:00.001-07:00

I am feeling very used, manipulated, sad, and disgusted today ladies and gentlemen. I guess I should start from the beginning.

When you start blogging, somehow(still not sure) you get drawn into other peoples blogs. Most are people I DON'T really know in person, but through reading their thoughts, dreams, hopes, lives, etc. I feel like I know them just as well as anyone! About three months ago, I was turned on to a blog about a young "CHRISTIAN" women, who called herself "B", who was facing a pregnancy with a baby who would surely not live. This baby had been diagnosed with Trisomy 13 and Holoprosencephaly. Dr's had supposedly told "B", there was virtually no chance of life and her best option was just to induce labor(around 33 weeks) and spend what what short time should would get with her baby girl, "April Rose.". As a mother, that tugged at the strings of my heart! I couldn't imagine dealing with such tragedy, carrying a baby in my womb only to have her meet Jesus before she ever really had a life. "B" had a beautiful way of writing. She would always seem to pour out her heart in her blog, some days being brutally honest and posting about how she couldn't understand why a loving God could do this, other days praising God for all his patience, love, and understanding during her difficult time, ALWAYS just asking God for his will to be done. Reading her blog was like a roller coaster. I'd cry some days when she would post about the baby's movements getting fewer and further in between, and rejoice with her when she would post about the Dr. finding the baby's heart rate in the 130's with no explanation as to why! I just knew God would be glorified in all this, and somehow this baby, April Rose, would be born alive and a miracle! The weeks progressed. "B" posted about how she had changed her mind and wanted a homebirth. She said she felt this was the BEST OPTION for her and little "April". She had 1000's of people supporting her. She even started a Wednesday post called "His Will Wednesday's" in which she asked people for prayer request and then shared them with her readers to pray for them. I was on that list, she had people praying for my little Camden's ears, I thought this girl was some kind of saint! Finally, 42 weeks, "B" has a friend post that she is in labor, hours later, "April Rose" is supposedly born alive, blonde and crying. Wow, was this a miracle or what? They write minute to minute updates on "April," saying things like "B" is nursing her, "April's" heart rate is dropping, Pray!!! It was constantly UP and DOWN. I was drawn in, I wanted this baby to live, I wanted this to be a "happy ending" They post pictures of this "MIRACLE BABY" and she looks NOTHING like a baby diagnosed with Trisomy 13 or holoprosencephaly. I found this a little strange, but who am I to judge God's miracles?.......I am sure at this point you see what I am leading up to? This was all a hoax. Yes, that is right, NONE Of it is true. How do I know you may wonder? Well, I know because "B" suddenly took down her blog, all her posts, the pictures, everything. She claimed people were harassing her, and calling her a fake. I was outraged. I thought, "How could someone be ugly to this poor sweet girl?" I wanted to find these people and let them have a piece of my mind. When I did find these people, I was totally shocked at what I saw and read. It turns out "B" was never pregnant, she has no baby, and did all of this for money. The pictures she posted of "April Rose" were really a pictures of a "REBORN" doll, that can be found on the Internet see? Picture 1 is the baby doll found online "Avery," Picture 2 is the pictures she posted saying it was "April Rose" her miracle baby

Then the "friend" who was actually posting for her while she was in labor, whose name is Raechel(I need to clarify she never actually met "B" in person, they were just internet friends, Raechel reached out because she too lost a Trisomy baby a year ago)publicly wrote a blog, along with two WELL KNOWN other BLOG Moms, Mckmamma, and Audrey Caroline's Mom, saying they now truly believe this is all a hoax, and are terribly sorry that all of "B's" readers were subjected to this.

Honestly, I am disgusted. I am sick with the thought that a person could create such a tragic lie and have people praying and crying for her with no remorse. I wonder how she could sit and read comment after comment left on her blog of people from around the world saying how much they admired her strength and how they will pleed with God to spare her baby's life. I am disgusted that she did this for money(she got money for hits on her blog), I am just confused! One thing I do know though, was even though this is one of the strangest things I have ever encountered, GOD was glorified. This girl, although maybe not what she intended, brought 1000's of people together in prayer, 1000's of people reaching out to God, and even had non-believers believing in God all because of one FAKE miracle baby. It just goes to show God is great, and what is it..as the song goes...PEOPLE ARE CRAZY!

A little of this, a little of that

2009-06-07T18:14:00.000-07:00

Hello there,

Its been a few days since my last post, so I figured I would grace you with my presence! JUST KIDDING! :)

Guess I should start this off where we left off. Post surgery has been AWESOME! My sweet baby bear is now sleeping from about 9 p.m. to 6 p.m. without waking! It's HEAVEN let me tell you! We have had a rocky night occasionally, but I can almost bet it has nothing to do with his ears, and that is a relief! Here is that sweet boy now!
Red cheeks on the other hand, well they are a different story. Some days they are good, and some days they look like the ABOVE, but I am just trusting in time they will be totally healed!

This past week, after many months of showing him how, Camden learned to wave bye bye and PATTY CAKE! It is so cute when he does it that I just randomly ask him numerous times a day to patty cake! I caught a picture MID clap Seeing him learn to put things together is just so special!

I love the way he and Carson are playing more and more together! They wrestle around, chase each other(crawling of course) around the kitchen, and even sometimes share toys. Sharing is starting to become a big issue, and I think it is more due to the fact that most of Camden's toys are Carson's OLD toys. I am having to explain to Carson that we can share and everyone can have a turn. Easier said than done right? here my boys are playing the other morning!

My dad came up this past Wednesday. He lives in Ft. Lauderdale and has never met Camden. He isn't really financially able to travel very often but it worked out for him to come and I am oh so glad he did! Carson and Camden warmed right up to him, which I was a little nervous about. I wasn't sure how Camden or Carson(even though he has already met him several times) would react to this 6 foot 6 inch, 290 lb man walking through the door. I guess somehow they just knew he was family though and took a liking to him immediately! I am hoping my dad will be able to MOVE here permanently in the next few months and I am going to pray that God's will be done in this situation. It would be super nice to have him see his grandsons grow and be a part of their lives! I am his only child and so I am really the only family he has! Here is a picture of him playing with both boys!

Well, I guess that gets you up to speed on what has been going on at the GODWIN house!

At Last!

2009-05-29T09:13:00.001-07:00

Well if you read my earlier post, or you know me personally, than you probably already knew today was Camden's tubes day! In the previous post I mentioned how poor Camden was food/milk deprived before surgery and he fiercely tried to chug a Tylenol bottle! Here is the picture of proof Pretty pitiful huh?

Well, we arrived right on time at 6:30. Of course we would of had NO excuse to be late since we had been awake since 3:30 this morning. Camden's sweet Meme and Papa were there to great us! Derek had Carson duty and work so he couldn't be there. I know he wanted to be, in fact he got up before we left and prayed over Camden! Once we were there and situated, they called us back and had me dress Camden in a little baby hospital gown(it was kind of cute if you want the truth of the matter) and took all his vitals! He wasn't too impressed with what was going on because by this point he was doing all he could to stay awake! The anesthesiologist, ENT Dr., and several nurses took turns coming in and telling us all we needed to know about what was going to happen! Here is Camden looking tired and unenthusiastic about what he has seen

Then the time came. Honestly, I think that was the hardest part. Having to hand your baby over to a nurse and watch them walk down the hall into an OR is harder than you can imagine. I thought I would hold it all together, but I could feel my eyes start to tear up at that moment. LUCKILY, I didn't cry. I reminded myself that this was an easy procedure, and that God was in control. We went back to the lobby and then waited. It seemed like hours, but really only 15 minutes passed before the Dr. came out and told me that two of us could go back and see him. I went back naturally and his papa too. Camden was still out when we went back to see him, and that was pretty wierd to see. Here he is, just after the procedure! I told the nurse he would probably sleep as long as she would let him because he was exhausted, but she assured me that wouldn't happen because she was going to wake him up herself! Camden woke up crying and irritated, but who could blame the little guy! He immediately was given a bottle of apple juice and quickly calmed down. I was so happy to see him awake and alert. Everything went just fine and I am so glad this is over. I am praying this is the answer to our prayers and that Camden is finally free to be happy, pain free, and antibiotic FREE! :) Here he is with papa chugging down his juice!

Thanks everyone who covered us in prayer and gave us so many encouraging words! It is so nice to have supportive people in your lives who are there for you in times of need! :)

Well today is the DAY!

2009-05-29T02:40:00.000-07:00

Today is the day I pray my prayers are answered and my little baby bear gets some relief! Surgery is scheduled for 7:30 but we must arrive an hour prior to get prepped. Yesterday at the pre-op appointment, the nurse informed me that Camden could have nothing to eat or drink past midnight last night. Of course I know this is standard procedure, but I am sure a look of terror rose across my face as she said those words. You see, since Camden first started with these ear problems, he wakes frequently at night. Sometimes he can be soothed with some rocking, sometimes I can just put his paci in his mouth and rub his back, but often a bottle of warm milk is the only thing that can do the trick. Before bed last night I just said a small prayer that Camden would not wake and that we would both at least sleep until 5:30 a.m.! NO SUCH LUCK! Camden and I have BOTH been up since 3:30 a.m! I have tried every soothing measure in the book and no luck! Around 4:30ish I finally just gave up and now here we are! I am trying to give him things to keep him quiet and relaxed until we can leave! A few minutes ago I handed him one of those little baby Tylenol dropper bottles that he was so desperately trying to grab(It is CHILDPROOF, dont worry) and he immediately stuck the end that is sort of nipple shaped in his mouth and went at it! Poor thing, maybe this is the end of what seems like a LONG ROAD! Say a prayer for him today! :)

I know the best is yet to come

2009-05-26T08:07:00.000-07:00

When Carson was born I remember being "that" mom. You know, "that" mom that didn't want her baby to grow up, "that" mom that wanted to keep him little forever, "that" mom who wanted to cry when someone said the words, "It is going to fly by faster than you can imagine!" I am no longer THAT mom haha! Now, I am the mom who although LOVES having a 10 month old, baby bear who depends on me to do most everything for him, knows that the best has yet to come! Carson's age now, although sometimes extremely frustrating, is AMAZING! Not only do I love watching his little mind run 1000 miles a minuite, but the fact that he is able to express LOVE back to me is the most rewarding thing! Recently, Carson has started this thing where before bed he says "Mommy, I need mommy MWHAS(kisses)" and then he reaches out his little arms and hugs my neck tight! That small action right there lets me know that he feels the same love for me that I feel for him, and now he is able to express it! I am looking forward to having these same moments with Camden. It is hard to picture his little blue eyes looking up at me and saying "Mommy I love you", but when he does I know I will feel the most AMAZING feeling. A feeling almost unexplainable, like your heart is going to just burst because it is so full of love for this little person who is half of you and half of your soul mate! A feeling you only know when you are a parent:) So, for all of you moms that are "that" mom right now, don't worry it only gets sweeter with time!

Had some pics done of the boys! MAN, are they ever amazing! If you live around this area I definantly would recommend Carrie Reed Photography! Here are some of my favorites:Carson looking so grown up and handsome

One of my favorites of Camden

And this is my absolute favorite! My boys together

Bless those who curse you

2009-05-21T06:22:00.000-07:00

Well, I will get to what my title is all about in a few, but first I want to share some pics from our vacations! The boys had a blast and wanted to spend every waking moment in the pool. Ha, well I guess I am speaking for Carson, because in all reality Camden never TOLD us he wanted to go to the pool, but he sure had fun when he was there. Here are some pictures!

I was SOOOOOOO stinkin' happy when Kris Allen was deemed AMERICAN IDOL last night! Honestly, as much as I liked the guy I wasn't so sure America would choose him. Adam really was a captivating, and unique performer, and on Tuesday night, I actually felt he had done a superior job over Kris. I still casted my vote for Kris and hoped for the best, and sure enough he is the winner! No worries though, I have NOOOOOO doubts we will be seeing Adam Lambert EVERYWHERE very soon. That guy is BORN to be famous!

Bless Camden's little heart. He made it through this beach trip with MINIMAL ear pulling, but since we have been home it is right back to the same old thing. I am sure those antibiotic shots from last week have worn off and he is 100% miserable again! The last few nights have been restless and I am just counting down the day now until his surgery!

Now on to the title.....I have learned and am trying to learn a lesson this week. I recently had a situation arise, where I have come to actually dispise a person. I can't stand to see them, talk to them, hear about them...I know, that is pretty bad isn't it? Although, I completely feel this person has brough it on themselves, I have decided to pray for them. ITS BEEN HARD let me tell you. At night, before bed, during prayer I ask God to bless this person. I ask him to bless them financially, emotionally, health wise, spiritually, ect. The HUMAN inside me doesn't want to do it. I have to literally FORCE the words out, but faithfully each night I am making myself do this. Why you may ask? Well, right now I don't really know why. I had someone whom I really respect tell me to just do it. Even though I can't stand the thought of this person, I was told to bless them. I am curious to see what God's plan is for all this, and see exactly why he wants me to do this. I remember there being a bible verse saying,"Bless those who curse you" I believe its in Romans but I couldn't say for sure! Well Lord, here I am, blessing those who curse me........now what?

I Think Everyone Is In Need Of Some Kind Of Relief

2009-05-14T06:44:00.000-07:00

As I look at the world around me, I see people struggling through all sorts of situation. From financial, to medical, to marital, you name it, its happening! Today before I start my daily routine of getting ready for school, I am just praying for everyone to have some kind of relief!

In our personal life, I pray that Camden gets some kind of relief from this ear pain until his surgery! He has gotten two antibiotic shots in his legs this week, and I am hoping this will hold some of that uncomfortable, non-stop, annoying(I'm sure) pain! His Dr. said this is the LAST antibiotic option for Camden, and if his infection still persists than before surgery they will just have to drain his ears! As of Monday his ear was still fully infected and no change was made! PRAY FOR RELIEF FOR CAMDEN! In a worldly aspect, pray for families who's children are extremely ill. Pray for those moms and dads who have babies in hospitals and feel there is NO relief insight! Pray that they find peace and are refreshed with a new sense of determination!

I think we ALL need financial relief! I don't think an hour goes by that I am not either hearing someone(including myself) talking about the financial mess we are in. I think I have gotten my RELIEF on this department, but I am praying for those who haven't! I decided that I fully am just giving it to God. Every month I stress, and stress about bills getting paid, but somehow(well I say somehow, but I know actually it is my overworking husband) they manage to get paid! I know this is God. God brings in side work, and odd jobs for Derek to do and they always end up being just enough. Just enough to provide for our needs! How could that be? Well that is GOD! God knows our every need, and when we put our trust and faith in him, he provides just as promised! If he is providing for YOUR needs, turn those blessing into praise. Pray for those who are desperately needing financial relief. Pray for those who aren't sure if they will still be in their home a month from now. Pray for those who have medical bills overflowing and can't see any way they are going to get paid! Pray for those looking for work, who at this point would flip burgers as long as they could have a job!

Who is in need of a stress relief from time to time? *Raises hand* ME!!!!!! I think LIFE, no matter who you are, can be stressful at one point or another. Maybe you're a stay at home mom, who's children can drive her crazy on any given day, and add the house work, cooking, bills on top of that... Ya you get the picture! Maybe you are a father, working endlessly to be the "MAN OF THE HOUSE" and provide financial support for your wife and kids, I know from seeing *one of you* everyday that this is stressful! Maybe your are neither of these, but just someone trying to get by in this world, with hopes and dreams and struggling to accomplish them...don't you need a stress relief too? Well that is exactly what I am praying for! Relief from stress, a moment to relax, a day without worries! Everyone deserves one, but it can be a rare occasion or opportunity to get one! Praying mine is this weekend, where I will be doing nothing but lounging on the beach!(Well almost nothing I still will be changing poopy diapers, fixing meals, bathing kids, hey, but I am going to be doing all that at the beach SO I can't complain)For anyone who is NOT enjoying a beach vacation this weekend, I am praying for moments of peace, moments of silence, moments of rest, and a few hours maybe out of your day with NO WORRIES!

Hoping whatever the situation may be that you get some sort of relief! May God grant you the peace of mind you are looking for, the financial support you need, or just a few moments without stress!

A Day Made By God Just For Moms!

2009-05-10T17:26:00.000-07:00

My mother's day technically started Saturday! My husband and I had already planned to get up early, go to breakfast, and head to Tallahassee(with the kids of course) to get Carson and I a bathing suite. Little did I know he had so much more up his sleeve. We did everything just as planned, we went out to breakfast and headed to Tally. I was determined to find a bathing suite for our beach trip next weekend and I was feeling pretty confident that I would find that "perfect" one! Unfortunately, after trying on just about every bathing suite Kohl's had, I was feeling unsuccessful and decided to give Target a try. NO LUCK! Again I tried on many and was not feeling good about the way any of them fit. Some were VERY flattering on top and not flattering at all on bottom, some showed off more skin than I was comfortable with, and some just weren't me. I was feeling pretty hopeless but my husband was not willing to let me give up. He dragged me back into Kohl's and made me try on more suites. Again, I came up with nothing. When all hope was just about lost, I happened to spot something on the clearance rack. A cute brown and tan laced tankini with cute embroidered flowers. To my surprise, I tried it on and it was a PERFECT fit and in total cose $23! That was all God right there, guess I truly had his favor! :)

We had a quick lunch and headed back towards home. Honestly, I wasn't really looking forward to seeing me house. Don't get me wrong, I love my home but life has been so hectic lately between my crazy school schedule, Camden's many Dr's visits, and LIFE in general that my house has started to get a little out of hand. It wasn't a pig stye by any means, but I had let it go a little the past few weeks and it was depressing to come home too! I knew I was going to have to spend a good 5 hours or so scrubbing tubs, toilets, and floors to get it back the way I like it. Unfortunately, I am running on empty lately and it was the last thing I wanted to do. Lucky for me, I didn't have to. You see, while we were in Tallahassee, my very sweet, and thoughtful husband had hired someone to clean my entire house, top to bottom and EVERYWHERE in between. I thought I was going to faint when I walked in the door. The shelves were dust free, glass was shiny, tubs and toilets were spotless. How awesome of a mother's day gift was that? I truthfully couldn't have asked for anything better in the whole world!

Today was ACTUALLY Mother's day. I won't sit here and lie to you and say it was the prefect day, but I guess it was fitting because it was truly the definition of what "MOTHERHOOD" is all about. My children didn't apparently get the memo that mother's day should be an easy day for mommy. Instead, I am thinking they just were confused and thought mother's day was in fact a day to show mommy how many ways she is needed. For instance, Carson's not so nice attitude today was his way of showing me he NEEDS my discipline. Or what about Camden's nonstop whining? Well that was his way of showing me that he is only comforted by mommy's love and snuggles. Seriously though, as much work as this day was, I still am so thankful I am a mommy. I am so thankful God picked me to raise these two little amazing boys. I am so thankful that I have two healthy(well mostly ha ha) kids that need me and want me, and that call me MOMMY! I am thankful for the snot, the kisses, the poopy diapers, and even the non stop crying. All those things are ways of showing me I am loved and needed!! Thank you God for making me a mommy! :)

Hope everyone had a blessed day and just remember how lucky you are to be a mother. Some women are praying day and night to have that one chance at having a baby. They are praying for that day they get to wipe a snotty nose, clean a dirty bottom, and rock a crying child as long as that child called them MOMMY! :)

Tubes and Tee-Tee

2009-05-06T05:51:00.000-07:00

Well it is official. Camden will be having his tube surgery on the 29th of this month. I met with the ENT yesterday(Dr. Swartz) and he was just as sweet as I had heard he would be! He came in the room and immediately started a conversation with Camden! We had a long talk about Camden's ears, and if you remember correctly about 2weeks ago Camden has developed another ear infection. Well, as of YESTERDAY he still has it. I had a feeling Dr. Swartz would tell me that because really there has been no change in Camden's behavior and that old stubborn ear just refuses to cooperate with antibiotics period. I am asking you to just pray peace for Camden for a few more weeks until we can get these tubes in to help get him relief! We will continue to keep him on this antibiotic(although I am not really sure why at this point because it is doing nothing) until his surgery per his Dr. Last night was though, he woke up 3 times crying hysterically, so neither of us is running on a whole lot here lately! Since this whole ear infection mess has gotten so bad, I have reverted to having Camden sleeping BACK in our room with us, because I want to be there for him if he needs me.Walking across the house numerous times a night seems like a not so appealing idea! I am looking forward to a happier Camden and more sleep for both of us, that is for sure!

On a funnier note, I caught Camden skateboarding yesterday...See?

He is so hilarious! How in the world he managed to get himself under our kitchen table and straddle the skateboard I have no clue!

Carson's eye is a ALOT better! Weirdest thing ever, I think it was all due to a mosquito bite! The reason for this is because one had bitten him on his back the day after and it swelled almost as big as his eye, hmm maybe he is allergic? I guess from now on I will be sure to cover him with some S.O.S! In potty news, Carson is making PROGRESS(THANK YOU LORD :) ) He has "tee-teed" as we call it, twice in the potty and I really think he is catching on. Last night we put him tobed and he REFUSED to go to sleep. He kept calling his daddy and I, and swearing he had to "tee tee" we put him on the potty twice and nothing happened. I figured this was just his way of not wanting to go to sleep, but the third time he did this we put him back on the potty and sure enough he DID IT! I am super proud and think that maybe this is a start to a GREAT thing!

oh and quick update on that precious baby Rylan I asked you to pray for-He is doing MUCH better! The originally thought he contracted Group B Strep, but after many tests they now think he has just picked up a nasty bacterial virus and hopefully in a few days he can return home! Thanks for keeping him prayed for! :)

Please Pray

2009-05-04T17:16:00.000-07:00

About 11 days ago, my sweet friend Nicole had the most PRECIOUS 7lb 8oz baby boy named Rylan.
See? Told you he was precious! Well I am asking for your prayers because he has been hospitalized tonight due to causes not known quite yet! He has been very sick and lethargic for two days now and his stool culture came back positive for bacteria. They think he has more than likely contracted group B strep and he is currently in the IMCU! Please keep this sweet baby boy covered in prayer and ask our GOOD Lord to give him a speedy and safe recovery!

My little monster!

2009-05-03T15:01:00.000-07:00

So today when my normally handsome Carson woke up, I was greeted by a NOT so normal looking Carson. THIS is what he looked like:

Still adorable in my eyes, but defiantly not what I am used to seeing! I have nicknamed him "My little monster" for the day! We aren't sure really what it is. Guessing either a steye or a bite, but really not sure of either because he doesn't actually have a bite that we can see! It has swelled progressively worse throughout the day and it now almost to where he can't even open his eye see:

He isn't a happy camper! I don't think it really hurts him, I just think he doesn't understand why he can't open his eye! Poor little guy, who could blame him? In case you are wondering why he looks so mad in his picture, it was because he wanted to play outside! His daddy and I gave in and broke out the bubbles and ended up having alot of fun watching BOTH boys try and chase after these big, soapy, rainbow colored bubbles!! Here are some cute pictures I caught of them

A little bit of everything

2009-05-02T17:09:00.000-07:00

Well this post will consist of EXACTLY what the title says..A LITTLE BIT OF EVERYTHING!!

I guess we have to start somewhere, so lets start with something I am excited about, and that would be my haircut! Normally, maybe people wouldn't find themselves so excited about this type of thing, but when you only get one every 6 months it can be very worthy of the word! Yes, Yes, I know what you are probably thinking, "A haircut every 6 months? Is she CRAZY?" Well I have decided this will no longer do! When I walked into my salon Friday morning, I was feeling quite BLAH! I have been growing my hair out for many months now, but honestly I didn't feel pretty, I didn't even really feel cute, I just felt like I was sporting this LONG, no shaped hair. I explained to my hair dresser that although I'd like to keep my hair long(I like it that way, but my husband absolutely LOVES my long hair) that it needed some short of style or shape to it and TADA: this is what she did!
Ok, so I realize it may not look like much, but to me it looks like alot and I feel like a new women! I feel like my hair is no longer this long mess on my head, but now has some shape and texture to it! That has brought me to the conclusion that even thought I do want to keep my hair long, I can still go to the salon a little sooner than 6 months from now and keep it "shaped up!" So, props to CLAIRE because she does a great job!

In other news, Camden is doing better rash wise, thanks to NURSE(well ALMOST lol) Hallie. I doctored his little back all up with gauze and antibiotic ointment and slowly but surely it is getting better. For those who MAY not be aware of what I am talking about, THIS was Camden's back last Tuesday when he awoke:
I still am not sure how or WHY he had this crazy breakout, but I am just thankful it is starting to go away! We meet Tuesday with the ENT and I am more than ready! I know the antibiotic he is currently on is NOT working whatsoever! The reason I know this is because I catch my poor child clawing his ears in pain all throughout the day! I know he is truly miserable and that makes me unhappy so I am anxious to see what the ENT will have to say! It even got so bad thursday night while I was at school, that DEREK called and left me a voicemail asking what he could do to help Camden because he was screaming hysterically and clawing his face and ears! BTW that is NOT like Derek at all, he is usually the clamer and I am the worrying so for him to call me at school, I knew he was truly concerned! I think we are all just ready to get some relief and some insight on Camden's precious ears! Please just say a little prayer for Wisdom and Patience for the Dr I will meet with Tuesday, as WELL as for me! :)

As far as Mr. Carson goes, he is just truly a MESS lol! Potty training is going ok, but next week I have spoken with his teacher at school and we are BOTH going to hit it hard all week! I already bought him some pullups and gave them to his teacher and she has agreed to help me get this ball rolling! I figure with both of us working with him, he will at least see what we are trying to accomplish here! I was a little apprehensive to ask his school to start trying as well(especially since he hasn't even WENT once on the potty for me) but the more I thought on it, I realized if he isn't consistanly getting it from all people involved then maybe he will be confused and not realize what we are trying to get him to do! So that is the plan, I asked his teacher to try this with me all week long, and we will go strong at home too and if by the end of the week he is still showing NO interest or progress than we will hold off on the potty thing a few more months until maybe he is a little more ready. Lets hope all goes well! You could say a prayer for Carson to use his STRONG will to learn to potty next week :)
We took him to a FUN birthday party today and he had a blast! They had PONY RIDES and a BOUNCEHOUSE, how much better could it get? Here he is trying to figure out how to open the bubbles! It was just about the only picture I could snap of him, because as you could imagine he was going 90 to nothing ALL DAY!

Well that is all for now, but that was Enough don't you think lol?

Somethings got to change

2009-04-27T13:45:00.000-07:00

Well I am sure many of you already know this, but for those who don't here is what has gone on since I last blogged.

Lets rewind to Friday when I actually posted my last blog...If memory serves me corrected I stated that I felt maybe yet another ear infection was bothering my little boy, and YES I was right. After I blogged, I fed Camden his breakfast and after screaming through just about every bite, and looking as pitiful as he did, I decided I could no longer let him go on like this and called his Dr. This is actually what he looked like:

Yes, I know he is smiling(that is just his nature, he IS normally a very happy boy) but his splotchy face, and half droopy eyes, and hysterics everytime he swallowed, told me something much more was going on. I felt almost ridiculous calling his Dr, because although he has had an ear infection just about every time I have taken him there, I still feel as if sometimes I am just worried over nothing. Glad I decided to trust my gut and take him though. I find it AMAZING at how in tuned mothers are with their children. Its almost as if we are one person. I know him, I know when he is hurting, even when he can say nothing at all. Well as guessed, SURE ENOUGH his right ear was infected AGAIN! He had only been off antibiotics for a week and an infection had returned. This was my last straw. I agreed to let him see an ENT and have tubes put in. I know a few weeks ago I was struggling with this decision, but I feel in my heart I am only being selfish by putting this off. Although, the thought of them putting my baby to sleep scares the MESS out of me, I can't let him suffer any longer. He isn't sleeping through the night, he is throwing up all the time(which my Dr. confirmed is very common in reflux babies with ear issues. He said he doesn't know which triggers which, but they go hand in hand and make each other worse) and he is just irritable and fussy for the most part. I prayed long and hard about this and I am trusting my motherly instincts and getting my baby the help he needs! Pray for us and wish us LUCK!

In other news....Potty training isn't going quite as good as I hoped. I worked with Carson all day Saturday and although I did see improvements throughout the day, nothing seemed to really STICK! When the day first started Carson had NO interest in even sitting on the potty, but the more fun I made it, the easier it was to convince him to do it! I found the most effective way to get him to stay on the potty for short periods of time was to either read or let him read himself books! He never actually went to the potty, but he did tell me he needed to go a few times and when I would put him on the potty he would just let out gas(TMI? haha) he was so proud of himself for that and he would say, "MOMMY I Did it, I stinky!" <---HAHA yes, the exciting life of motherhood!!!- Although he didn't REALLY stinky I would still praise him and tell him< "GOOD BOY CARSON!" I felt this was great progress because he felt something going on in that tummy of his and took the initiative to go on the potty! Hoping things progress alittle more than this though soon!!

Anyways, that is all for now. I will update more about the ear situation when I talk and meet with the ENT!

Excuse me while I whine a little!

2009-04-24T07:06:00.000-07:00

Ok, I don't want to sound like a whinny, ungrateful, "poor me" type of person, but I need to get this OFF of my chest! I am SOOOOOOO tired of THIS:

By this I mean these beat red, scaly, cheeks! I don't mean to sound pitiful! I mean I know, trust me, I could have SOO much worse. I am FOREVER grateful that God blessed me with a(mostly) healthy baby. It's just terribly OLD hearing people ask me why his cheeks are so red? Even kids lol, they walk up and say whats wrong with that baby's cheeks? I then have to try to explain eczema and all the FUN that comes alone with it! I was PROMISED by Dr's that this would be almost NON-EXISTENT during spring and summer, but HELLO isn't it 86 degrees outside and isn't my babies cheeks(regardless of the GLOBS of medicine and Vaseline I keep on them) still BEAT RED?

I am starting to think maybe this is some kind of pattern that I am not catching on to? I am suspicious of YET another ear infection and maybe his cheeks just get worse when his ears are infected? His reflux seems to defiantly peek when he has ear infections(or maybe the reflux causes the infection...still debating that one) I really don't know! I guess today I am just aggravated(I do have a sinus infection so cut me a little slack :)) and feeling a little sympathetic for Camden. His young life has been tougher than I think he should have to deal with. Between the REFLUX, Eczema, and Ear Infections the baby just doesn't get a break. Can you imagine his point of you? I bet he thinks life is pretty crappy right now, but thankfully once he outgrows all this stupid stuff he will see life in a whole new, BETTER light I hope!

Ok, Ok, enough complaining. On a happier note, Carson was in the ROSE BUD parade last night and boy was he ever cute! He was so excited when he saw Mommy, Daddy, Meme, Papa, and really the WHOLE Godwin crew cheering him on! His little face just LIT up and he started waving his flag like you've never seen! You could tell he was super proud of himself and we were sure proud of him too!!! This weekend I think I am going to spend ALL DAY SATURDAY working on using the potty! I know he is smart enough, but I am a little apprehensive because Carson is what we like to call a "Hard Headed Child." Once he has it in his mind he isn't going to do something, try all you want but the child just isn't going to do it. A good example is lets say eating something he doesn't want to eat! No matter HOW long I make him sit in his booster seat and tell him he has to at least eat a few bits, he won't! He will sit there forever and never even take one bite! So, this should be a fun new challenge to say the least! Any advice?

Realizations

2009-04-18T06:23:00.000-07:00

I've come to the realization that I have a blessed, awesome life. That I have everything I need and most of what I want. It doesn't get much better than that

I've come to the realization that I have two amazing, healthy, beautiful, little boys. They have their moments, but for the most part are well-behaved and have made my life brighter than I could of possibly ever imagined.

I've come to the realization that my husband might-as-well be PRINCE CHARMING. No, he doesn't ride in every afternoon on a white horse, but he saves me from myself and stupid decisions ALL THE TIME! He isn't PERFECT but he is perfect for me and I am pretty darn lucky to have him I think!

I've come to the realization that you need to pick your battles in life. There is ALOT worth fighting for, but also alot that is just better left alone. You can spend your whole life arguing about stupid stuff, but then you miss out on all the GREATNESS!

I think I have just realized more lately than ever, that I am one very lucky girl. That I am surrounding by great friends and family, and my life is going exactly where I want it to be! I am just loving life all of the sudden and it feels GOOD!

Here is a SHORT version update of what has been going on lately

My mom and sister have been here for 8 days and just left yesterday morning! I miss them already. I think every time they come I find it harder for them to leave! I wish I could have them here ALL THE TIME, but I know that can't happen. We had a marvelous Easter full of God, good food, and family and friends! Couldn't have asked for a better day!!

Camden had his 9 month check up yesterday as well. Little bear(as we so lovingly call him) is so fitting for him. Like for example: he is ABOUT as big as a bear cub, weighing in at now 23lbs lol! And he is TALL too, in the 90th percentile for height to be exact, 30 1/4 inches LONG! Oh and just as I can imagine little bears do, he GROWLS at me in between bites of food, letting me know he is STILL hungry. Yes, I think LITTLE BEAR is very suiting for him! Good news, his ear has cleared up! His Dr. said he still have a little fluid in his right ear, but we will just PRAY it turns back into nothing more! We had the TUBES talk, and I think we have come to the agreement that we will wait and see. He said he feels that if Camden continues getting them through spring that we should defiantly go ahead with the tubes, and I think I am at peace with that. I can't be selfish and let Camden just live in pain and discomfort. It's strange because although his Dr. said his ears are clear, he still continues to pull on his right one like he does when its bothering him. Maybe that has just become a habit at this point? Who knows!

Well my Carson doodle will be in his FIRST Rose Bud parade this year with his school. I am SUPER excited, and SUPER sad at the same time because I won't even be there to see it. I have school that night! :(
I am hoping to maybe somehow work around this, but if not I have made Derek to promise to take tons of pics for me!

Hmm...guess I have nothing left to say

The case of the MONSTER ear infection

2009-04-07T05:48:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, in a land that happens to be in the deep south, there lived a little baby boy named Camden. Camden was no ordinary little baby boy, he was chunky legged, and bright blue eyed, and he stole the heart of anyone he met.....

No seriously...Camden has yet ANOTHER ear infection. Well I say it's another ear infection, but here is the real LOWDOWN!...Ok from what the Dr. said Camden got his first ear infection at about 4 months old. It was a double ear infection which with an oral antibiotic cleared up on the left but not the right. Two weeks later we were BACK at the Dr. getting a stronger antibiotic that cleared the right up. About a month later an infection was built up in the right again which didn't respond well to the antibiotic they gave me, so again I had to go to a stronger one which cleared it up. Then came the third ear infection in the right ear right which took THREE rounds of antibiotics to clear up. Now, we have this ear infection which the Dr's are NOW assuming is the same ear infection he has had for over a month now which is NOT responding at all to antibiotics, again its in the RIGHT ear. I guess the reason I said he has had 8 ear infections is because technically he has, but some of them are just the SAME old infection that is terribly stubborn and won't go away.

My regular Ped. Dr. wasn't there, so I will see him next Friday when they recheck Cam's ear. The Dr. I did see was VERY helpful though and said that basically Camden's ear doesn't seem to respond well to antibiotics and if this continues he could have some temporary hearing problems(he said don't be alarmed they aren't permanent). He said babies that constantly have ear infections tend to hear things muffled and can have speech delays, but he said hopefully we won't even get to that with Camden. His(this Dr.'s son) got many ear infections, and he said he put off tubes until his son was 18 months old, So I think the man definantly KNOWS his ear problems. If Camden's ear doesn't' respond to this antibiotic he is on now(which is the strongest they can give him) then he will have to get some sort of shot, which I don't know the details of yet...and of course they are already talking tubes!

I am really having an issue with the tube thing, and I am not sure I am comfortable with it at all. I know plenty of babies get them, but the fact that Camden would have to be put to sleep freaks me out. I want to do whats best for him, and knowing he is in pain and uncomfortable is not fair, but at the same time is tubes really the answer.In the end I am going to do what I think is best for Camden because that is who this will be effecting, not me! I guess I will cross that bridge when it comes..but for now I am just going to pray this antibiotic works and that this MONSTER of an ear infection will go away and leave my sweet baby alone!

The definition of love

2009-04-04T16:01:00.000-07:00

If this isn't the definition of true, honest, REAL love...I don't know what is.

We didn't make them do this, I just looked in my review and this is what I saw, so naturally I had to snap a picture! Gosh, I hope they stay bonded like this forever. I can't get enough of how cute they are and I just pray they stay close like this! I am now starting to see having Camden was so much more than just a plan God had for me. It was also a plan to give Carson his very best friend! :)

Speaking of Camden, he is sick again. When I say sick I mean this hack cough, miserable eyes, bright red cheeks, non sleeping, and feverish sick. I hate to even UDDER these words, because I really, really, really don't even want them to be true but I am bombarded with the thought of yet ANOTHER ear infection due to the fact he is pulling the mess out of his right ear and crying. I dont know what to do at this point because this will be like the 8th one and the poor child is only 8 months old! Tubes is NOT where I want to go but I am not sure what my other options are. I do know one thing, Camden can't live on antibiotics forever especially when they don't seem to be working! Anyways, just pray this all ends soon and poor baby Camden gets some relief!

Well I officially........

2009-03-26T14:00:00.000-07:00

Have a crawler! I knew this day was coming, but I guess you can say I am being a "proud mommy" right now and braggin on my baby boy a little bit! Thought I'd share this sweet video!

Camera Hams

2009-03-21T06:48:00.000-07:00

So without a doubt Camden is a camera ham! I started noticing it a few months ago when I would break out the camera and he would instantly start cheesing. Last night we had some friends over(well they are family too) and they have a son(Brice) who is Camden's second cousin. Brice and Camden are only about 6 weeks apart, so we find it fun to get them together and see how they react towards each other. When they came over, the boys just sort of stared at each other at first, and then they started doing things that would make the other smile or giggle! I wanted to catch this cuteness on camera, but about that time they both started to fuss!...See....

this is Brice

And of course this is Camden

But they quickly realized the Camera was out and I swear, in all of about 5 seconds they turned from crying babies, to smiling posing models haha see :

Camden even had to throw in his "Studly pose" and If I tried to get a picture of just Brice, Camden would have to sneak his self in somehow!

"Studly Man Cam"

And Mr. Sneaky

So maybe I have discovered the answer to every mother's biggest question? On those sleepless nights when your bundle of joy is screaming their little head off and nothing you do seems to please them...just whip out the old camera and either you will hush them up or get some pretty funny pictures....either way I think its worth a try lol!

Ok one more very cute example of Camden's camera obsession lol. After all the excitement last night, he was very sleepy and started falling asleep in daddy's lap. He was hunched over looking extremely uncomfortable but cute, so I decided to get a quick picture:
But as soon as that little booger sensed or maybe heard the camera click he jumped up ready to pose!...SEE ..................
Does someone think they are to cute for their diaper of WHAT?!

Those three little words and back with a vegeance

2009-03-17T05:56:00.000-07:00

I know this may sounds silly, but I swear Derek and I have been waiting for the first time Carson could/would actually say the words, "I LOVE YOU." We have been telling him we love him since before he was born and although we were quite certain he loved us back, we actually wanted to here him say it. I used to work with him by doing the I(and pointing to my eye), Love(and pointing to my heart) and YOU(of course pointing to him). He sort of grasped that concept but could never get the LOVE part down. So it ended up just being I---You! Last night, as I was cleaning the kitchen, Carson strolls in and we starting doing hi fives. Then I say, "Carson I love you" and he without hesitation looks at me and says, "I Wuv you!"(Which sounded more like I Wuvv Ewww) You probably can't even imagine how excited I got! I grabbed him, hugged him and took him directly to Derek and made him see for himself! Derek was equally as pleased as I was, and we both grabbed Carson and just hugged and kissed him like crazy!! Who knew those three little words would sound soo sweet coming from that little mouth!

Well Camden's red cheeks are back with a vengeance! I am not really sure what to do at this point. I know it very well could be a food irritating it worse, but I really am not thinking that is it. Besides that, I wouldn't even know where to start on trying to figure it out because he eats so many differen't things now. I am just at a loss right now as to what else to try. They got better for about two days and then they started progressively getting worse again! My poor baby. He has been EXTREMELY fussy for about 4 days now too! Infact ,I was awoken last night at 1a.m to him screaming hysterically. I went to check on him and he was just sobbing in his little bed and I still have no clue what was wrong! My mommy instinct keeps telling me his ear infection isn't gone, so I decided if he is still fussy today than we are going to the Dr. Might also be his reflux which is acting up particularly bad recently. I know this may sound horrible or selfish, but can I tell you how tired of I am cleaning up throw up? It seems like I am on the floor scrubbing the carpet every 10 mins. I can't imagine how tired Camden must be of actually being the one to throw up. Poor little guy, he probably thinks throwing up is just a part of everyday life, and when you are born that is just the natural thing to do. Fortunantly for him, I know its not, and one day he will be healed of this junk and NOT have to deal with that icky feeling any longer! PLEASE let that day come sooner than later!

The WHOLE Godwin family could use some prayers right now. I am really not allowed to say why at the moment, but when the time is right all will be revealed I am sure. Just please pray for our family because we sure need it! Also, I have finals this week so could you lend a prayer towards that too lol!?

So the verdict is.....

2009-03-07T14:30:00.000-08:00

Well like promised, I took Camden to the Dr. yesterday(Friday) and let me start by saying he weighed a WHOPPING 22lbs! Yes that is right. At first I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me, but no he really really weighs it, and I am feeling every pound lately when I carry him! Anyways, back to the important stuff here. Well the Dr. said he defiantly thinks the rosey red cheeks are eczema, but he said the reason they are so beat read, and bleeding is because its really infected! He explained to me how eczema causes your skin to be super dry and when his skin cracks like it has, its prone to get bacteria inside. I guess that is what happened, so he told me to wash his face several times a day with a mild soap(like dove or dial) and keep hydrocortizone cream on it, and also gave me an antibiotic for the infection and his EAR! That is right I said ear! The poor fellow had a pretty bad ear infection in his right ear and mommy didn't even realize it! I actually had mentioned to Derek last week that I thought he may have an ear infection because I kept noticing him pull on that ear, but I just chalked it up to teething because I knew he was getting a new tooth in as well. Glad I ended up taking him to the Dr! Its so strange though because Camden wasn't fussy or running a fever like you would imagine he would be with an ear infection, but today he is terribly fussy and has been running a fever all day long! Its weird how these things work. Well that is all for now, off to tend to a sick baby!

Just some random thoughts!

2009-03-05T05:34:00.000-08:00

So a few weeks ago I am watching tv and a commercial comes on, and without really paying all that much attention to what I look up and notice a women breastfeeding! This of course caught my curiosity and I was then totally intrigued as to what in the world this was all about! Turns out, Medela has started promoting breastfeeding(and of course THEIR products) on tv! Can I even tell you how awesome I think this is? For those who don't know(which I am sure most do) I am a PRO breastfeeding mom, and I like to think I advocate it. No, I don't walk around with Pickett signs screaming breastfeeding to the world, but I find myself trying to encourage anyone I see or hear that is pregnant lol! To see this commercial on TV in my opinion is GENIUS! To be honest I can't say I have ever seen a commercial about breastfeeding before, but I know this is the first step in the right direction! I can't seem to understand how people can turn there nose at breastfeeding. Don't get me wrong please, I know people who formula feed, infact I am now one of them so I am NOT against it. It is a woman's prerogative as to how she chooses to feed her child, but for someone to say breastfeeding "GROSSES THEM OUT!" and yes I have had a women say that to me before, sorry but that just FLOORS ME! How can doing something your body was designed to do, gross you out? Do you think it is a fluke accident that there just happens to be milk coming out of your body? HELLO, how much more awesome can God get, than designing our bodies to not only be able to GROW babies, but also to feed them too? Oh, and the biggest perk, ITS FREE! So please someone explain to me, what is gross about? Like I said before, I am not a formula mom(due to going back to school and alot of ISSUES I had with milk supply) but I gave my son the VERY BEST for 6 months! I worked and worked and worked at making sure I did what was best for him and not what was easiest for me! Just wanted to clear up here, I am not writing this to bash anyone who is or has used formula, that is not my intention at all! I just wanted to share how awesome breastfeeding can be, and my thoughts on how I pray with this new commercial that this will just be a chain of events that makes breastfeeding more "normal" and not so taboo or shameful!

Ok Ok on a lighter note. Moms do you ever just look at your child and feel so lucky they are yours? The other night Carson was doing one of his many very cute things and I just looked up and said, " God, thank you sooo soo soo much for making me Carson's mom. I don't know why you choose me to give this awesome life, but I am forever grateful!" I really meant that too. Carson is such an bright kid. He has a personality like no other and I feel completely and utterly blessed to be his mom. Camden too of course. I don't favor one over the other, but Camden is just growing into his own personality, and Carson has had this big personality that I love for at least a year now and I am so amazed at the little person he has become! Yep, so If you can't tell....I love him!

Now to the Cam man! He has had the weirdest thing going on with his little cheeks, and those who have seen him now what I am talking about(and those that haven't can probably tell in pictures) His cheeks are VERY pink and dry. At first glance it looks like they are wind chapped, but the child barely sees the light of day outside, so I just know that can't be it! He goes to sleep with red cheeks, and wakes up with red cheeks! It doesn't matter how much lotion I goop on the child's face it just won't go away. I lotion him up about 7 times a day(well Derek's mom does probably 3 shifts lol) but no relief. Sometimes they will even start to bleed. Isn't this odd? I did some research on the internet and the only thing I found was Eczema. Carson had Eczema and still has some outbreaks, but never did he have these cheek issues! I think I may end up just checking with his Ped. dr. and see what they have to say! Unless, any of you smart savvy moms have some good advice? See the picture? Haha and excuse the food face, we had just eaten peaches which can be quite messy lol!

Look Who's Crawling Now! (Well ALMOST lol)

2009-03-02T07:33:00.001-08:00

That is right. Camden is SO close to crawling and have you EVER seen anyone more happy about it?
Ya, I didn't think so! That is his CRAZY grin by the way lol! Oh and just thought I might throw in do you notice he is sitting up UNASSISTED? Yes, it's true! He is doing that too. Anyways but back to the crawling thing. He is so stinking close to doing it. He gets on his hands and knees and does the whole rocking thing. SEE????????

Part of me has that whole, "mommy is your biggest fan" thing going on, and I am rooting him all the way. Then there is the small part of me that KNOWS once he starts crawling, that is it. There will be no going back and from that point forward he will be MOBILE! I am so proud of the little guy though, I get so excited when I see those little knees go up and reguardless of how I may be feeling, he is going to crawl and I have to accept Camden is growing into his own little self! Speaking of growing, the boy weighs 20lbs and 5ozs! I know! Can you even believe it? He is catching up to Carson MIGHTY quick! Carson was only about 17lbs at this age so Camden is quite a LOAD to carry right now! Now that he is sitting independently I think I will be putting that old infant carrier in storage! I am so sick of that thing anyways, because carrying him in it is carrying 30lbs and it is getting old very fast!

I am sure you are already all aware of this, but I LOVE MY CARSON! He is turning into such a sweet little boy(not that he wasn't already sweet)! For no reason, he will just come up to me and give me a kiss, say "BYE", and then run and hop on Mater(the infamous) and take off around the house! I love those moments. I so look forward to the day he can actually say the words, "I LOVE YOU" he just hasn't mastered the LOVE part yet, but he has the I and you part perfect! He is such a blessing and I am so very thankful for him!

This weekend was nothing special, but I did manange to talk my hubby into taking me to Target and Kohls(two of my very favorite places.) The kids needed some Pjs desperately, and I was hoping to find some good deals on them! I was dissapointed in Target to say the least(that is rare words to hear me say by the way) I did find Carson some there. They were on clearance and I got two pairs for $11. Camden on the other hand was alot tougher to buy for. He is really too big to wear 9 month pjs so I was in the market for 12months. I am a huge fan of the one piece sleepers with the feet in them, because they are so easy to just put on and snap up, but couldn't not find ANY in 12months. All I saw as far as 12 month pjs go at target, was the two piece top and pants and there were $13 a pair. NO THANKS, too expensive for me! So I headed over to Kohls (they always are having some kind of sale) and although I still couldn't find any "feety" pjs as I call them in 12 months, they were having a sale on their carters pjs. I got him two pair, which each pair consisted of a top, pants, and shorts, for $20. I felt that was a little better of a deal. They are so cute too! I went ahead and got 18 months so he would be able to wear them for a while, and to my shock they actually fit pretty decent now! Kind of makes me wonder because I am the type of person who plans ahead, and when the winter stuff went on sale I bought Camden some 18 month clothes( because that is how old he should be next winter). I am starting to think now, maybe that wasn't such a great idea because they might not even fit. Oh well, I am sure I can find someone to give them too if that time comes!

Well I am off to be shamefully lazy today! I only have one child here with me and I think him and I will not even bother changing out of our jammies for a little while. We will just lounge around and do not much of anything! :)

I believe in children teaching parents

2009-02-21T18:36:00.000-08:00

I always find it so amazing how much my children teach me. Like patience for example. On days when I feel I am going to pull my hair out because there are not enough hours to accomplish everything I have on the "to do" list, and Carson comes to me with a book and says " Book mommy, book!" and my first reaction is to say," Not right now, I am busy!" But then I look down at that little face, and suddenly it hits me. JUST BE PAITENT, everything will get done eventually, maybe not today, but with patience and time it will come together. Other days my children teach me forgiveness. Somedays Carson gets mad with Camden and viceversa. It's funny to think at this young age, they would have anything to fight about but they do. Carson usually gets mad at Camden for stealing one of his toys, and Camden usually gets mad at Carson for trying to "Love" him a little tooo much! When I see Carson getting aggravting with Camden, I say "Carson, now we have to share. Tell brother you are sorry for snatching that toy away from him." And Carson will go and hug and kiss Camden and they are right back to being best buddies again. Watching that, it makes me realize us GROWN UPS need to forgive a little more quickly and get over it. If children can figure this out, why can't we? It was so cute. Just today, I had put Carson down for his nap. About 20 mins went by and I heard him in his room playing. I opened his door and told him it was time to lay down and go to sleep. 15 mins or so later, I thought I heard him playing again. When I went to open the door, this is what I found!

Carson had fallen asleep in his bed, reading his bible! How precious is that? It made me think, if he can make time for God, shouldn't we all! I am soo glad I have my kids around to remind me of the little things in life that truly matter!

I can't believe I only have about 3 weeks left in this quarter of school! Man has it flown by. I found out next quarter I will be forced to take a night class 2 nights a week, and I am not looking forward to that! I was hoping to avoid that at all costs, but it looks like I have no choice. It is the only time they offer that class and I need it for my degree! The class is from 5-8:30 p.m. on Tues and Thurs, and I truly am a little torn up about it because that is two nights I won't be here to tuck my babies into bed. That also mean just a little more of a load on Derek(the poor man already has enough on his shoulders supporting the 4 of us) but he says he is up for the challenge! It will be an adjustment, but I just have to keep telling myself that a quarter only last 10 weeks, and I can do it! I am sure God will have to work extra hard on giving me grace during this time because I will sure need it!

It's the thought that counts!

2009-02-15T05:47:00.000-08:00

Ok ladies, and well I guess gentlemen too although I am not quite sure how many gentlemen read this blog lol? Anyways.... let's face it, Derek is NOT the most romantic of guys. Most of the time I am having to hint that I would like something, and it's a rare occasion that he just gets a whim and goes and purchases something without my little PUSH. This valentine's day I knew the money situation, and we had agreed that we would just get each other a card and that would be enough. We planned to go to a Valentine's dinner at the church and that was going to be our celebration this year. Nothing special, just being together and thanking God for keeping us glued and strong through these hard times. To my shock, Derek managed to pull something romantic off withouth me even KNOWING! Yesterday, he woke me up with a card and a small box of chocolates(already more than I expected). Then a little after lunch I tell him I am going to take a warm bath and he asks if he can run my water for me(TOTALLY not typical of him) so I say,' Umm ok sure!" When he calls me in to tell me the bath is ready, I go into the bathroom and find a bathtube full of bubbles and rose petals! My heart totally melted! I thought wow, how sweet of him. Then he topped OFF my day by taking me to my FAVORITE place, MORI japaneese steak house! The kids came along because to us they are our little Valentine's too (haha plus we weren't going to try and push our kids off on someone on Valentine's day) Althought we didn't have a ton of money, he made the day super special with his thoughtful ideas. Guess I will have to say he kind of left me feeling bad all I got him was a card, but I did give him a GOOD long back massage last night for all his efforts! :)

I meant to add this to my blog last week, but I totally forgot and it's big news!!! Guess who doesn't use a paci anymore?!... THIS BOY!

After two years, it is gone. Honestly, I think I made it a bigger deal than it was. I won't lie I was terrified of what would happen. Carson was pretty attached to his paci. It was his little source of comfort. I think to be perfectly straight with you, the thought of taking it away and him being up all hours of the night screaming and begging me for his paci was more than I could take. It's kind of funny how it happened though. One day, I forgot to put it in his backpack to go to school(he got it at nap time only). When I got to school to pick him up that afternoon I asked his teacher how horrible was it that he didn't have it, and she just looked at me and said, "He didn't even notice, he never cried or whinned of anything!" I was shocked! So, I decided I would try to put him to bed that night without it and see what happened. So, that is what I did, and again he didn't cry or anything. He did ask me for it, but I told him it was gone and that he was a big boy now. Praise Jesus, he totally accepted what I said, and ever since he is paci free! That has been about two weeks ago and I am totally in awe of how easily he let it go. Guess that gives me some hope with Camden when his time comes around!

Well got to get ready for church, may everyone have a blessed day!

Ok, this sinus stuff is getting OLD!

2009-02-10T05:55:00.000-08:00

Well just about everyone I have spoken with in the last week or so has had some weird sinus, coughing thing going on. I have been dealing with it for a week now, and today I woke up and its moved down into my chest! I can feel the burning when I cough and breath! I really, really,really don't want to go to the Dr. so maybe I will just give it a few more days and see where we go from there?

Guess who is 7 months old today? CAMDEN! gosh, its hard to believe 7 months flew by that fast and aren't slowing down anytime soon! He uttered his first "dada" the other night and although I am certain he has no idea what that means, it is cute anyways! I am still waiting on him to sit up good, he has the sitting part down it is just the not falling over part that he hasn't quite mastered yet. I know he will get it with time, but I am so ready for that day to come!

Carson is saying so many new things. I think school has just broaden( his already BIG) vocabulary so much. Derek has this thing where he picks Carson up and throws him in the air and catches him. It is too adorable because when Carson wants Derek to throw him, he will come to Derek and say, " I want to go sky!" I laugh and laugh every time he says it. I love all his new little phrases.

It always amazes me how God knows a persons needs! As I mentioned before, finances are tight these days, but God knows exactly what we need to get by. For example, yesterday Camden was out of formula and he needed baby food. I had exactly $23. I went to walmart grabbed a can of formula, a few jars of baby food and then remembered we were completely out of sugar so I grabbed a bag of that too. When I got up to the register I just knew I was going to have to put a few dollars on my debit card. When the lady hit the total button it was $22.58. God knew just what I needed and made sure I had just enough. I guess he knows how much I need to just get by even before I do! I am praying things are going to really look up soon! We have something that if all goes well could really help us out a ton financially, so please keep praying!!

Well off to get ready for school!

Trying times

2009-02-06T19:23:00.000-08:00

I need to ask a big favor of everyone who reads my blog, PLEASE pray for my family(Derek, Carson, Camden, and I). Like everyone else in the United States, our finances are so out of whack and we are truly struggling! It is hard living on one income, but I feel that is all the more reason for me to finish my degree so I can make REAL money one day! I don't want to sound selfish, or ungrateful because honestly I am truly blessed. I have a roof over my head, food on my table, clothes on my back, and two healthy beautiful children. There isn't much more I could want, but paying our bills has become overwhelming, and it has gotten Derek and I both stressed beyond belief! I am putting all my trust in God that he will provide, because he always does! Our tax refund isn't looking too favorable(long story) but it doesn't look like we will get much of anything back. I am trying to stay as positive about the situation as possible, but that can be so trying at times! I am sure alot of you can relate, and it is a struggle for most right now.

I just keep going back to Malachi 3:10

Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, so that there may be food in My house, and test Me now in this," says the LORD of hosts, "if I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you a blessing until it overflows.

And I have to keep faith in God's word! Even with little money to spare we make sure our tithes are paid and know that God must have some great blessing in store for us soon!

Catching up

2009-02-02T13:52:00.001-08:00

I just realized it has been quite a while since I wrote a post. Life is keeping me pretty busy at the moment, and when I do get on this computer I guess I don't have alot of energy to write a blog. I am getting ALOT more sleep these days which is a blessing. It is so strange how it happened, but one night my kids just started sleeping again and ever since its been uphill from there. Camden usually wakes up about 6:30 and I give him a bottle and he goes right back to sleep! I am LOVING it!

School is going good too. I can't believe this quarter is almost half over. It has flew by! I am already debating on what I should try and take next quarter! So far I have managed to keep an A average in both my classes! GO ME!!!

I started taking some workout classes last week. I can't brag enough about all First Baptist does(they have the mother's morning out program). A friend informed me last week that they were starting workout classes 2 nights a week and they provide child care. It only cost $5 and that pays you up for 6 weeks! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT! I paid $5, they take care of Camden, and I get to work out for 6 weeks! I find that a God send!!! I won't even sit here and lie, THEY WORK YOU! It is one hour of non-stop moving. I am always terribly sore the next day, but it is so worth it. I have GOT to get this body back in shape! A few of my girlfriends go too, so that makes it even better!

I have the nastiest sinus infection/cold/ SOMETHING? going on. I don't feel good at all! It started a few days ago and hasn't let up since! I am hoping for some relief soon!!! I have heard there is something going around though, because everyone I talk to says they are sick too!! Whatever this mess is it needs to go away now! I would like to breathe again, Thank you!

I have kind of got caught up in reading other peoples blogs. I don't know the women who write them, but I feel like I do. They are so inspiring and heartbreaking at the same time. I find myself laughing, and crying with women who I have never met, and I am so touched by what I read. Two of the women's blogs I read have NICU babies. I came across their blogs through another blog I read about a women who is desperate to have another baby, and throughout 8 miscarriages, and heartbreaking failed adoption has been unsuccessful! One of the NICU's babies mom's, led me to another blog I just recently started reading, about a mom who lost her baby at 38 weeks(pregnant) due to a cord strangulation. Some of you might be thinking, "why would you want to read such tragedy?" and the truth is, I don't know! I am drawn to these women. I find myself just praying for all their situations daily, and hoping the next time I log in to read their blogs that something positive has happened! Although, I can't really relate to their situation, as a women and mother I somewhat can. These women seem far stronger than I can ever imagine being because through all of their trails they still remain positive. Can you imagine loosing a baby 2 weeks before you are set to deliever? Or thinking you are about to bring a precious baby home and then finding out they mother changed her mind about the adoption? Or how about delievering a full term baby, only to have him or her rushed to a NICU where you arent able to hold them for over a week and aren't sure if things are going to get better or worse? I can't, but reading about this makes me realize just how LUCKY I am. I have two healthy, beautiful kids who don't have a care in this world! God is good, and althought I might not always understand his motives, I know he is always there.