So much to say...but So little time!

Hello all,

Well I have been a pretty bad blogger lately. I said I was going to pick up on blogging again, but I haven't been doing a very good job of that now have I? It's not that I am lacking things to talk about, or picture to share, but more due to the fact that I am working alot, and when I am NOT working I still have two very active little boys to take care of. Most nights, by the time I am relaxed and comfy in my bed, I am just too worn out to even use the little bit of energy it takes to type a blog. Today though, seeing as how I had a little while before I have to head off to work, I decided I would try and put something together.

Well where to start....Carson turned FOUR a few weeks ago, and although I should be used to the fact that every year your child gets a little older, I can't grasp that four years has really flown by since that first day I held him in my arms. He has changed and grown so much in these last four years, and although he has his moments,(what kid doesn't) I am truly proud of the little guy he has grown into. He has the sweetest, most sensitive side that I just adore. He loves to tell you how much he loves you, and won't go anywhere(bed, school...YOU get the picture) without giving mommy and daddy a kiss and a hug. I LOVE that about him. On the other hand, I love how "mature" he is too. When Derek has to work out of town, Carson becomes the little man of the house. For example, we are in the process of potty training with Camden, and when Cam has an accident, Carson will say, "Camden you don't go potty in your pullup, you are a BIG boy now, and that is just YUCK!" ....He tries to be my little "reinforcer" Sometimes though I have to bring him back down to reality though and remind him that I am the mommy, and although I appriciate his help, I don't really need it~ :-)

Camden is growing like crazy too, and even though they have over a year between them, they are SO much more like twins. Camden can do just about all the things that Carson can, and talks just as well. Sometimes it's beneficial that they are so similar, and sometimes it's chaos. Mostly because, they tend to get each other in trouble. One will egg on the other to do something, and next thing I know, they are both double teaming me and doing something they know they shouldn't be. I am sure you can see how this would be a problem lol. Never the less, I love every minuite of it. I am glad they get along so well and have so much they can do together. They always have a friend in each other, and although they have their little spats, for the most part they truly are BEST BUDS. Camden is my sweetie pie. He LOVES to be held still and rocked. Some nights he will just come find me and say, "Mommy I want to rock rock"(Translation: He wants me to come sit with him in the recliner and rock him) I am so glad that at 2 and 1/2 years old he STILL has the need for his mommy to snuggle and rock with him. I don't see how that could ever get old. He is also acceptionally tough for his age. I guess that comes with the territory of being the little brother. He really doesn't take much off of anybody and if another child pushes him or hits him, he doesn't run off crying, instead he is ready to keep going. I am thankful he is able to play with other children without crying everytime he gets hurt, but at the same time I have to remind him he can't wrestle and play around with them like he does with Carson...So sometimes that can be a problem! :-)

We found out a little over a week ago now that we are having ANOTHER BOY! I am not sad in the least, but had I had money going, I'd be BROKE right now because I would have bet it all that this was going to be a girl. Everything about this pregnancy is different and everytime I turned around, I had someone telling me "YEP, that is exactly how the pregnancy I had with my daughter was!" So I am sure you can see the shock on my face when the ultrasound tech. announced that we were expecting another son. I never felt dissapointed or upset, instead I was elated as I watched her scan over my belly and watched this new little GUY moving and rubbing his little face. I never cease to be amazed at how precious they are, even in utero. After I got my mind readjusted to the fact that it was yet again in BOY mode, I started thinking and discussing names with Derek, and I think we have agreed that we will name him Cade(that awas Derek's pick) Tucker(My pick) Godwin, but we will call him Tucker. I loved that name from the time I found out I was pregnant with Carson and it took me three pregnancies to get Derek to agree to it. So Tucker it is, and I am super excited. My mom brought up the fact that I may see him and decide he looks like more of a Cade, and that is ok too. I guess we will call him whatever feels right!

Other than that, Life is going good. I am spending alot of time working, which I really do love. It keeps me busy and I really do enjoy my job. I get along well with all my co-workers and I have fun working. They have also been ACCEPTIONALLY understanding with all the pregnancy stuff I have had going on, and how sick I have been this time around. I am THANKFUL to have such a job....

Well I guess that is it for now! Hope everyone has has a wonderful weekend, and I promise more updates soon!

the BLUR of the last few days!

So I am trying to sit down and make since of the last week or so. I guess I should start at the beginning(Monday). It started out normal enough. I had to work, so I woke up, got ready and then of course the waves of nausea set it. I took my medicine and pushed through it, ready to get to work and get through the day. Around lunch, I started having some noticeably bad pain in my right side. I ignored it for a while, chalking it up to something stretching, or maybe the baby was putting weight on a nerve or something. By 3:30 p.m. I was pretty much way past the though of just your "regular" pregnancy aches, and knew something wasn't right. The pain was sharp, stabbing, and relentless. I finally broke down and called the Dr., halfway thinking maybe I was just being a big baby and nothing was wrong, but of course they told me exactly what I knew they probably would, "GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM"I was getting off work in about 2 hours, so I wanted to wait until my shift was over instead of leaving. I worked through the pain until about 5 p.m, when I called my mom and told her what was going on. She didn't feel comfortable letting me drive myself, so she came and picked me up and it was off the ER we went.

The Emergency room was a mad house. I don't think I have ever seen it so packed. There were people who said they'd been waiting since 1p.m. that day and it was now after 6. I knew we would be in for a long night. Luckily we didn't wait very long. The fact that I was pregnant and in lots of pain, pushed me ahead of many patients. They got us back into a room and the torture began. They did a pelvic, put in a catheter, did a ultrasound, poked, prodded, and finally about 2 a.m. the Dr. came in and told me I was going to have to do a CT. I was very uneasy with this decision. I told him I really wasn't comfortable, and I heard it wasn't good for the baby. He assured me it would be fine and sent me back. The radiologist was extremely sweet. She sat me down and asked me if I knew the risks of what I was about to do. I told her that I knew it wasn't healthy for the baby, but I didn't know exactly what I was risking, and that is when the true fear set in. The Radiologist explained that I would be putting my baby in direct radiation. Anything from birth defects, to spontaneous abortion(my body ridding itself of the baby). I immediately started crying. How could I make a decision like this? I asked the Radiologist to get my mom and of course she did without hesitation. When my mom came back, I was still crying and it was hard for me to get the words out of what I was trying to say. The radiologist did most of the explaining and I simply just asked my mom what she though I should do. My mom held my hand and told me this isn't a decision she could make for me. As bad as I could see in her eyes that she wanted to take it all away, I knew she was right, I had to make the choice. After sitting there a few moments I decided I just couldn't go through with it, so the radiologist took me back to the room and the Dr. came back in explaining that since I didn't do the Ct. there was really nothing else he could do. He told me to call my Dr's office first thing when I woke up and figure out a plan with them. I agreed and had to sign myself out of the hospital against medical advice since I refused to take the test. By the time we arrived home it was after 3 and we were both exhausted. I don't even remember changing my clothes, I just remember falling into bed and not waking up for several hours.

I woke up early the next morning to the sound of my phone ringing. It was only 8a.m but it was my doctors office, so I knew I need to get up and answer. The nurse said she was calling to check on me after last night, and I filled her in on the serious of events that had transpired the night before. I told her that I refused to do the Ct, and the only way I would agree to do it is if MY Dr's at the shaw center felt it was safe for the baby and truly necessary. I also told her I was still in alot of pain and I knew something wasn't right. She told me she was going to consult with them and call me back. I fell back asleep, but not for long. The phone was ringing again, it was my Dr's office, and they wanted me to go through with the ct. They told me I needed to come into the office, let them check the baby and my vitals and then they would send me over to radiology. I wasn't Happy about it, but I needed to know what was wrong with me, and all the dr's concurred this was the next step. Basically I spent the next day with the Dr's and the radiology team. Again, the radiologist made me sit and listen to all the risks I was taking with my baby, and again I cried feeling soo torn between getting better, and possibly harming my baby. Finally, a nice male radiologist came to talk to me. He was very calm, and his voice was soothing. He explained to me the risk I was taking by NOT doing the Ct. What if my appendix was the problem and it burst? He told me then I'd be risking mine and my babies life. He also assured me that if i was his wife, or daughter he would feel comfortable with me going through with the scan. I still wasn't 100% satisfied, but the truth is, nothing they said would make me feel GOOD about the decision, so I decided to do the CT, just praying it would be for the good of the entire situation and give us all some answers. After the test concluded I was basically sent home to wait. Waiting is NOT easy for me, I am probably one of the least patient people you will ever meet, but I waited and it wasn't until the next day that I actually got some answers. I had an appt. with my midwife and we sat down to discuss the results. She assured my from the scan, my appendix looked fine, as well as my liver and gallbladder, but my kidneys and ureters were in question. She had consulted with antoher Dr. at her office and they both came to the conclusion that I had a "kink" in my right ureter which was causing the horrible pain and really needed to be resolved. Her idea was to admit me to the hospital, let them fill me with fluids and pain meds for a few days and see if I wasn't feeling better. Her plan was to try and "straighten" the kink out. I know she could see the reservation in my eyes, because she then said she would give me one other choice. She explained that she would let me try and push the fluids on my own, at home, but I would only have until lunch the following day to do it. I agreed happily, thinking I could def. fix myself better at home, and promising her to follow strictly on her instructions. So home it was, My mom was here, so that was a huge help, She forced me to drink everything 30 mins and was really pushing me hard to keep the water down. The next morning I woke up and to my disappointment I still felt awful. Mom encouraged me to go ahead and call my midwife, and I did, and of course she told me exactly what I knew she would, "You are going to have to come in and be admitted"....At this point I just wanted to feel better, So if going into the hospital for a few days would do the trick, I was ready to jump on board. Unfortunately, as I was getting things ready to leave, I got extremely sick. I couldn't hold a single thing down, and I spent majority of the morning with my head in the toilet. I knew then it was def. time to get to the hospital because things were def. getting worse and not any better. I arrived around lunch time, and they already had a room all ready to go for me. The immediately hooked me up to fluids, medicine for the nausea, and something for pain. My midwife came in, and checked me out. She told me she was going to have the urologist come and consult with me and we would go from there. The urologist didn't arrive until about 7 that evening. From the moment he walked in, I sensed aggravation in his voice. He asked me several question and then did an "inspection" of my pain and body. Without much else being said, he told me he wanted to watch me for a few days and we'd make a decision from there. I just tried to relax and make the rest of the night as quiet and uneventful as possible. I slept fairly decent and the next morning I was awoken bright and early by a nice nurse who was there to take my vitals. She informed me that the Dr. would be around soon to do his morning consults. It wasn't long after she left, that just like she promised, the Dr. arrived. By this time the cafeteria had sent up my breakfast and I was nibbling at some bread when he walked in. His first words out of his mouth, "Well you must not be too sick if you are eating" I know confusion must have set in all over my face. What was that supposed to mean? If they DIDN'T want me to eat, then why did they order me food? I just ignored the comment and let him go about talking. His next comment was something to do with, "well I don't think you have a "Stone", because if you did, you wouldn't be able to eat anything!" ....I looked up at him, very confused, and then I said, "I never thought I DID have a stone"...He just ignored me...going about his inspection. Without really another word to me, He got his stuff together and said, "I Am going to consult with your Dr's but I don't think you have a stone and I don't know what else to do for you!" And that was that. I looked over at Derek who had stayed the night with me, and we were both very confused. I figured I'd just wait until my NORMAL Dr. came around and find out the scoop from them. Unfortunately, I didn't get that chance. Next thing I knew, The nurse was coming in with my discharge papers, saying this NOT so nice Dr. who I barely even knew was sending me home. WHAT??? All this and they are just sending me home? I was honestly in shock, steaming mad, and in shock! Don't get me wrong, I didn't want to be in the hospital, I'd much rather be at home, but I did want to know what was wrong with me. It was almost as if this crazy doctor was looking at someone Else's chart, a STONE? Who ever even mentioned a stone? So it was off to the house I went, and it's here I have been ever since. I still feel pretty awful, I am debating my options. I know I could go to another hospital. I am not against it, but it's just hard going to a place where you know NO ONE and your family isn't there. So I guess today I will have to make a decision. Let it go and just see if things get better on their own, or go to a hospital I am not familiar with and know no one at? Tough call...........

I'm just a passenger

Never thought I would hear myself say that, but it's true. I am just a passenger in my own body. Day to day, I never really know what to expect with it or what kind of "ride" I may be in for. Most days I feel like we are on a very curvy, sharp turned, crazy road that keeps me feeling queasy with every movement, and has me wondering what is next to come. Occasionally, I get a day in which I feel like we are traveling down a nice, quiet, dirt road, but those days are pretty few and far between. Reguardless, this is just a whole new ballgame for me and I am truly truly truly sympathizing with all you mama's out there who have been exactly where I am at right now. I know every pregnancy is different, but I guess when you go from having two, nearly perfect pregnancies, with very few sick days, no real complaints, and never really feeling "too bad", to THIS time around, feeling awful 90% of time, its a hard change to get used too. Thankfully I have made it through the 1st trimester though and with over 12 weeks under my belt, I am hoping I can at least experience some(even if only slight) relief from here. I'm hoping the next few weeks will keep me so busy, I can forget how bad I feel and actually enjoy the family/holiday time.

Aside from pregnancy stuff, life is going great. I truly am enjoying my new job with Alltel. I love the work I am doing and the people I work with. I am so lucky to have been blessed with this oppourtunity, and although it didn't all go as planned, I am hoping I am able to make alltel feel they are lucky to have me too!

The boys are doing great. I can't believe in a little over a month I will be a mommy to a 4 year old? It just goes to show you how fast it all goes by. I can remember so perfectly bringing him home from the hospital, and how tiny and sweet he was. He is still sweet, don't get me wrong...he is just NOT so tiny anymore. He has turned into such a little boy now, and somedays I feel like he is much older than he really is!

Camden is quite the little man himself. Having such a great older brother is definantly a blessing to him. He picks up so much from Carson, and they have a bond unlike any other. They have both finally reached the age now where they will just go off into their room and get engaged into cute little makebelieve games together. I absolutely love that they are able to occupy themselves without me having to always keep them busy. Although, I can't lie, SOMETIMES those two little minds get in trouble together. Haha have been several occasions that they have obviously conspired to start some trouble together(like just yesterday when they decided to sneak the syrup bottle into Carson's room and I caught them both eating it out of cups with spoons!:-)

Well it's off to work. I promise the next post will be a little more exciting, and def. have some pictures to liven it up!

You'd think I'd be used to this.....

This isn't my first rodeo. I mean, I have done this whole pregnancy thing two times already, and I have parented two, wild, healthy children, but suddenly I feel like this is the first time all over again and I am starting from scratch. Everything about this pregnancy is different than I have ever experienced before. I am sicker than I have ever been in my life, my boobs hurt all the time(it even hurts to take a shower!!!) and my hormones are extremely out of control. When I say that though, most people are probably thinking I am laughing hysterically one minuite and crying the next, but thats not the case. They seem to be out of control in other ways, I'm somewhat moody and snappy and not really emotional crying wise what so ever. This is DEFINANTLY something I am having to get used too and I am trying my hardest to keep it all undercontrol because the last thing I want to do is bite someone's head off for no real reason. I am sure I am really not THAT big, but I already have a little bump, and althought I know you show earlier and earlier with each pregnancy, I already feel huge!!

This past Tuesday we had an ultrasound to give us a more accurate due date and to make sure this little jelly bean was growing like they should be. When I got there the last gooped up the ultrasound wand and preceeded to rub it over my belly, I was slightly distured when nothing appeared on the screen, I mean after all I knew I was over 8 weeks and the fact that I was seeing no fetus was quite unsettling. She decided to do the "OTHER" ultrasound and as soon as she was in....BAM there popped up a nice, growing, 8 week and 1 day old fetus with a nice bounding 161 bpm heart. It appears my uterus is completely tilted backwards and so that makes things a little more difficult to see on a normal ultrasound. The tech said everything looked perfectly normal though, babies heart was beating beautifully and based on the measurements we are due June 27th 2011. I think things really registered then. There is just something magical about seeing/hearing that beating heart for the first time that really makes it all real. She scheduled us another ultrasound for the 25th of January to determine the sex...Super excited for that one!

We had our family pictures done this past weekend by my favorite photographer Carrie Reed, and I am super excited to see how they all turned out! She gave us a small sneak peak(although I think it teased me more than anything lol) and I am thinking they turned out pretty great! The boys were fairly cooperative and I think we may have gotten some really good shoots as a family! :-) Carrie always does amazing work, so no doubt that our sessiong will be anything short of that!!!

Well..off here for now! Hope everyone has a great week and more updates to come soon!

Back to Blogging

Well, I guess it's no secret that I have been MIA from the blog world for many months now. Life was has been so crazy over the last few months that I kind of put this on the back burner. Over the last few weeks though I have REALLY missed it, and I decided I was going to jump back on the bandwagon. I debated weather I should make this first blog in so long about what we've been doing over the months I have been away, or just jump right into where we are now, and I decided I think rehashing past months seems silly, and I want to just pick up where life has taken us at the moment.

Well as most of you know, I am on a vacation from school. I say vacation because I do plan to eventually go back, but I am not sure when "eventually" will be. I recently got offered a pretty amazing oppourtunity to work with a company called Alltel Wireless, and there is no doubt in my mind that this all happened for a reason. You see, I wasn't looking for a job. I had all intentions of just finishing up my degree, becoming a nurse, and that would be that. Unfortunantly, life doesn't always go exactly how we planned,and I had some setback with school, and the future became kind of blurry. Then, I was turned on to a great job oppourtunity, with great pay, full benefits, and it was something I knew I'd be great at. After much prayer, and lots of thought, I decided to take the job. Soon after I decided to take the job, I found the vehicle I had wanted for a very LONG time. It was a black honda pilot, third row seating, loaded with an ent. system, leather seats...EVERYTHING!!! It was like it was just sitting there, WAITING for me. I couldn't pas it up, and at the price I talked them down too, it was truly a steal, so in a very short time I had accomplished getting a new job and car, life was going good and heading in a totally new directions. Little did I know, God had put all these pieces in to play because of his DIVINE plan. Two weeks into my job, I got totally shocked and caught off guard when I was told I was pregnant during a routiene Doctor's visit. Three children was my life plan, but I had def. planned on holding off on a third child for a couple of years. As we all know, sometimes our plans and God's plans don't always match up, and as much as I wasn't planning on having another baby so soon, I was actually pretty excited when I was told the news. I didn't even really get upset, or freaked out, I just smiled and said, " Okkkk God, another baby it is, but I think this time it will def. be our last!" So that is where we are, lots of NEW and Exciting things happening in our lives. Carson and Camden are totally siked to have a new baby coming. Carson is really able to comprehend what that means and anytime he even hears someone mention the word baby, he says,"HEY, my mommy has a baby in her tummy!" He swears its a "sister" and he already has a name picked out for her, although I am not sure mommy and daddy are quite on board with the name yet lol! Most people want to know if we are praying for a daughter, but in all truth and honest I just want a healthy baby. Boy or Girl, I will be happy and blessed and know that God knows what our family needs. As of today I am between 7-8 weeks and I am thinking we are due around June 25th. We have an ultrasound scheduled in about a week to give us an "accurate" due date though, So I will update then if something changes!!!...So here is our lives...I am back to blogging, and I have to say it feels GOOD! :-)

A glimpse into the future!

As a mom, it's easy to let your mind wander into the future. I think all parents wonder what their child will be when they grow up. I often wonder if my boys will be into sports, or arts, or will they be bookworms. Whatever the case, I will support and be proud of whatever they decide to put their heart into. I will say though if NOW is any indication of whats to come, I may already have gotten a glimpse into the future.

Recently, I was uploading some pictures off my camera, when I came across some photos that I KNEW I didn't take. There were about 10 of them, and at first I thought, "Where in the world did these come from?" Then it hit me! My Doodle snagged my camera and decided to take some pictures of what is really important in HIS world, and in my opinion I don't think he did half bad! Is photography in his future?




Then I have my Cam-a-bam who LOVES to read. Well ok, so technically he can't actually READ, but he LOVES to look at books and study the pictures. He will sit with a book and look at each page over and over again for 15 or 20 minutes. I have to say I am absolutely elated he loves books, and it makes me wonder...will I have that bookworm child too??


I guess time will tell what the future holds for these sweet boys, but its funny to imagine all the possibilites that my babes will grow up to be!

Let's talk hair!

Yes, this post is all about HAIR! It's the topic around the Godwin household lately, so I thought I'd share with you all too!

First, let's start with mine. Last week my favorite hairdresser(and ONLY person I trust to touch my hair) asked me to be a guinea pig for a new smoothing system she ordered. The product is all natural and is actually supposed to be pretty healthy for your hair so I agreed. My hair is naturally curly and although I straighten it quite regularly, it can be very frizzy at times. Usually, my routine of getting ready takes about 30 mins just on the hair end of it. I have to blow dry and then flat iron, and let me just tell y'all after I have blown my hair dry, its typically a big, poofy, frizz ball. I have never in my life been able to just hop out of the shower and go, or leave my house without LOTS of work on my hair. Even if I wear it curly, I have to add lots of styling products and blow dry it with a diffuser just to make my curls refined. So, you can imagine how elated I was when my hair dresser told me this smoothing system would(hopefully) eliminate my frizz and make my hair much more manageable and straight. I went to the salon she works at on a Friday and she did the treatment on my hair in less than 3 hours. It was such a simple and painless process, free of fumes and nasty chemicals and I left with sleek hair and strict instructions that I couldn't wash it for 72 hours. I made sure I planned this over a weekend so if I had to have greasy hair for 3 days, it would at least be in the comfort of my own home! When 72 hours finally rolled around, you can probably guess how anxious I was to wash my hair and see how well(or not) it worked. Well....here is the proof! This is my hair...freshly washed and blow dried with only me running my hands through it to brush it! I give y'all my 100% promised I have not(in this picture) straightened it with a flat iron at all! I am honestly AMAZED at how smooth and straight it is now and for the first time EVER in my life I am able to just blow dry it and have it be sleek and frizz free! Now, I will say I do still use my flat iron to tame down some unruly pieces and fix my bangs, but as you can see in the picture my hair is for the most part silky smooth with just a quick blow dry! Its amazing! If you are interested in getting in on this awesome new product, give Claire a call @ Gussy Up! I'd defiantly recommend this to girls like me, who spend lots of time trying to tame the frizz!

In other hair news, my sweet Doodle is over three years old now and STILL has yet to have a hair cut! I think the sheer thought of it, brings me to tears and part of me never wants to cut his precious little curly hair. I know that is not realistic, but I looked at that big bald head for a long time and the fact that he actually has a head full of hair now is special to me haha! I have had some people tell me they think its getting a little unruly though so I want yall's honest opinion! I admit it can be(much like his mommy's) hard to tame sometimes, but I don't exactly think its out of control! Maybe I should just give in and get it trimmed up. I know it will grow back, but I am not sure I am ready to take that leap yet....what do y'all think?