So much to say...but So little time!

Hello all,

Well I have been a pretty bad blogger lately. I said I was going to pick up on blogging again, but I haven't been doing a very good job of that now have I? It's not that I am lacking things to talk about, or picture to share, but more due to the fact that I am working alot, and when I am NOT working I still have two very active little boys to take care of. Most nights, by the time I am relaxed and comfy in my bed, I am just too worn out to even use the little bit of energy it takes to type a blog. Today though, seeing as how I had a little while before I have to head off to work, I decided I would try and put something together.

Well where to start....Carson turned FOUR a few weeks ago, and although I should be used to the fact that every year your child gets a little older, I can't grasp that four years has really flown by since that first day I held him in my arms. He has changed and grown so much in these last four years, and although he has his moments,(what kid doesn't) I am truly proud of the little guy he has grown into. He has the sweetest, most sensitive side that I just adore. He loves to tell you how much he loves you, and won't go anywhere(bed, school...YOU get the picture) without giving mommy and daddy a kiss and a hug. I LOVE that about him. On the other hand, I love how "mature" he is too. When Derek has to work out of town, Carson becomes the little man of the house. For example, we are in the process of potty training with Camden, and when Cam has an accident, Carson will say, "Camden you don't go potty in your pullup, you are a BIG boy now, and that is just YUCK!" ....He tries to be my little "reinforcer" Sometimes though I have to bring him back down to reality though and remind him that I am the mommy, and although I appriciate his help, I don't really need it~ :-)

Camden is growing like crazy too, and even though they have over a year between them, they are SO much more like twins. Camden can do just about all the things that Carson can, and talks just as well. Sometimes it's beneficial that they are so similar, and sometimes it's chaos. Mostly because, they tend to get each other in trouble. One will egg on the other to do something, and next thing I know, they are both double teaming me and doing something they know they shouldn't be. I am sure you can see how this would be a problem lol. Never the less, I love every minuite of it. I am glad they get along so well and have so much they can do together. They always have a friend in each other, and although they have their little spats, for the most part they truly are BEST BUDS. Camden is my sweetie pie. He LOVES to be held still and rocked. Some nights he will just come find me and say, "Mommy I want to rock rock"(Translation: He wants me to come sit with him in the recliner and rock him) I am so glad that at 2 and 1/2 years old he STILL has the need for his mommy to snuggle and rock with him. I don't see how that could ever get old. He is also acceptionally tough for his age. I guess that comes with the territory of being the little brother. He really doesn't take much off of anybody and if another child pushes him or hits him, he doesn't run off crying, instead he is ready to keep going. I am thankful he is able to play with other children without crying everytime he gets hurt, but at the same time I have to remind him he can't wrestle and play around with them like he does with Carson...So sometimes that can be a problem! :-)

We found out a little over a week ago now that we are having ANOTHER BOY! I am not sad in the least, but had I had money going, I'd be BROKE right now because I would have bet it all that this was going to be a girl. Everything about this pregnancy is different and everytime I turned around, I had someone telling me "YEP, that is exactly how the pregnancy I had with my daughter was!" So I am sure you can see the shock on my face when the ultrasound tech. announced that we were expecting another son. I never felt dissapointed or upset, instead I was elated as I watched her scan over my belly and watched this new little GUY moving and rubbing his little face. I never cease to be amazed at how precious they are, even in utero. After I got my mind readjusted to the fact that it was yet again in BOY mode, I started thinking and discussing names with Derek, and I think we have agreed that we will name him Cade(that awas Derek's pick) Tucker(My pick) Godwin, but we will call him Tucker. I loved that name from the time I found out I was pregnant with Carson and it took me three pregnancies to get Derek to agree to it. So Tucker it is, and I am super excited. My mom brought up the fact that I may see him and decide he looks like more of a Cade, and that is ok too. I guess we will call him whatever feels right!

Other than that, Life is going good. I am spending alot of time working, which I really do love. It keeps me busy and I really do enjoy my job. I get along well with all my co-workers and I have fun working. They have also been ACCEPTIONALLY understanding with all the pregnancy stuff I have had going on, and how sick I have been this time around. I am THANKFUL to have such a job....

Well I guess that is it for now! Hope everyone has has a wonderful weekend, and I promise more updates soon!

the BLUR of the last few days!

So I am trying to sit down and make since of the last week or so. I guess I should start at the beginning(Monday). It started out normal enough. I had to work, so I woke up, got ready and then of course the waves of nausea set it. I took my medicine and pushed through it, ready to get to work and get through the day. Around lunch, I started having some noticeably bad pain in my right side. I ignored it for a while, chalking it up to something stretching, or maybe the baby was putting weight on a nerve or something. By 3:30 p.m. I was pretty much way past the though of just your "regular" pregnancy aches, and knew something wasn't right. The pain was sharp, stabbing, and relentless. I finally broke down and called the Dr., halfway thinking maybe I was just being a big baby and nothing was wrong, but of course they told me exactly what I knew they probably would, "GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM"I was getting off work in about 2 hours, so I wanted to wait until my shift was over instead of leaving. I worked through the pain until about 5 p.m, when I called my mom and told her what was going on. She didn't feel comfortable letting me drive myself, so she came and picked me up and it was off the ER we went.

The Emergency room was a mad house. I don't think I have ever seen it so packed. There were people who said they'd been waiting since 1p.m. that day and it was now after 6. I knew we would be in for a long night. Luckily we didn't wait very long. The fact that I was pregnant and in lots of pain, pushed me ahead of many patients. They got us back into a room and the torture began. They did a pelvic, put in a catheter, did a ultrasound, poked, prodded, and finally about 2 a.m. the Dr. came in and told me I was going to have to do a CT. I was very uneasy with this decision. I told him I really wasn't comfortable, and I heard it wasn't good for the baby. He assured me it would be fine and sent me back. The radiologist was extremely sweet. She sat me down and asked me if I knew the risks of what I was about to do. I told her that I knew it wasn't healthy for the baby, but I didn't know exactly what I was risking, and that is when the true fear set in. The Radiologist explained that I would be putting my baby in direct radiation. Anything from birth defects, to spontaneous abortion(my body ridding itself of the baby). I immediately started crying. How could I make a decision like this? I asked the Radiologist to get my mom and of course she did without hesitation. When my mom came back, I was still crying and it was hard for me to get the words out of what I was trying to say. The radiologist did most of the explaining and I simply just asked my mom what she though I should do. My mom held my hand and told me this isn't a decision she could make for me. As bad as I could see in her eyes that she wanted to take it all away, I knew she was right, I had to make the choice. After sitting there a few moments I decided I just couldn't go through with it, so the radiologist took me back to the room and the Dr. came back in explaining that since I didn't do the Ct. there was really nothing else he could do. He told me to call my Dr's office first thing when I woke up and figure out a plan with them. I agreed and had to sign myself out of the hospital against medical advice since I refused to take the test. By the time we arrived home it was after 3 and we were both exhausted. I don't even remember changing my clothes, I just remember falling into bed and not waking up for several hours.

I woke up early the next morning to the sound of my phone ringing. It was only 8a.m but it was my doctors office, so I knew I need to get up and answer. The nurse said she was calling to check on me after last night, and I filled her in on the serious of events that had transpired the night before. I told her that I refused to do the Ct, and the only way I would agree to do it is if MY Dr's at the shaw center felt it was safe for the baby and truly necessary. I also told her I was still in alot of pain and I knew something wasn't right. She told me she was going to consult with them and call me back. I fell back asleep, but not for long. The phone was ringing again, it was my Dr's office, and they wanted me to go through with the ct. They told me I needed to come into the office, let them check the baby and my vitals and then they would send me over to radiology. I wasn't Happy about it, but I needed to know what was wrong with me, and all the dr's concurred this was the next step. Basically I spent the next day with the Dr's and the radiology team. Again, the radiologist made me sit and listen to all the risks I was taking with my baby, and again I cried feeling soo torn between getting better, and possibly harming my baby. Finally, a nice male radiologist came to talk to me. He was very calm, and his voice was soothing. He explained to me the risk I was taking by NOT doing the Ct. What if my appendix was the problem and it burst? He told me then I'd be risking mine and my babies life. He also assured me that if i was his wife, or daughter he would feel comfortable with me going through with the scan. I still wasn't 100% satisfied, but the truth is, nothing they said would make me feel GOOD about the decision, so I decided to do the CT, just praying it would be for the good of the entire situation and give us all some answers. After the test concluded I was basically sent home to wait. Waiting is NOT easy for me, I am probably one of the least patient people you will ever meet, but I waited and it wasn't until the next day that I actually got some answers. I had an appt. with my midwife and we sat down to discuss the results. She assured my from the scan, my appendix looked fine, as well as my liver and gallbladder, but my kidneys and ureters were in question. She had consulted with antoher Dr. at her office and they both came to the conclusion that I had a "kink" in my right ureter which was causing the horrible pain and really needed to be resolved. Her idea was to admit me to the hospital, let them fill me with fluids and pain meds for a few days and see if I wasn't feeling better. Her plan was to try and "straighten" the kink out. I know she could see the reservation in my eyes, because she then said she would give me one other choice. She explained that she would let me try and push the fluids on my own, at home, but I would only have until lunch the following day to do it. I agreed happily, thinking I could def. fix myself better at home, and promising her to follow strictly on her instructions. So home it was, My mom was here, so that was a huge help, She forced me to drink everything 30 mins and was really pushing me hard to keep the water down. The next morning I woke up and to my disappointment I still felt awful. Mom encouraged me to go ahead and call my midwife, and I did, and of course she told me exactly what I knew she would, "You are going to have to come in and be admitted"....At this point I just wanted to feel better, So if going into the hospital for a few days would do the trick, I was ready to jump on board. Unfortunately, as I was getting things ready to leave, I got extremely sick. I couldn't hold a single thing down, and I spent majority of the morning with my head in the toilet. I knew then it was def. time to get to the hospital because things were def. getting worse and not any better. I arrived around lunch time, and they already had a room all ready to go for me. The immediately hooked me up to fluids, medicine for the nausea, and something for pain. My midwife came in, and checked me out. She told me she was going to have the urologist come and consult with me and we would go from there. The urologist didn't arrive until about 7 that evening. From the moment he walked in, I sensed aggravation in his voice. He asked me several question and then did an "inspection" of my pain and body. Without much else being said, he told me he wanted to watch me for a few days and we'd make a decision from there. I just tried to relax and make the rest of the night as quiet and uneventful as possible. I slept fairly decent and the next morning I was awoken bright and early by a nice nurse who was there to take my vitals. She informed me that the Dr. would be around soon to do his morning consults. It wasn't long after she left, that just like she promised, the Dr. arrived. By this time the cafeteria had sent up my breakfast and I was nibbling at some bread when he walked in. His first words out of his mouth, "Well you must not be too sick if you are eating" I know confusion must have set in all over my face. What was that supposed to mean? If they DIDN'T want me to eat, then why did they order me food? I just ignored the comment and let him go about talking. His next comment was something to do with, "well I don't think you have a "Stone", because if you did, you wouldn't be able to eat anything!" ....I looked up at him, very confused, and then I said, "I never thought I DID have a stone"...He just ignored me...going about his inspection. Without really another word to me, He got his stuff together and said, "I Am going to consult with your Dr's but I don't think you have a stone and I don't know what else to do for you!" And that was that. I looked over at Derek who had stayed the night with me, and we were both very confused. I figured I'd just wait until my NORMAL Dr. came around and find out the scoop from them. Unfortunately, I didn't get that chance. Next thing I knew, The nurse was coming in with my discharge papers, saying this NOT so nice Dr. who I barely even knew was sending me home. WHAT??? All this and they are just sending me home? I was honestly in shock, steaming mad, and in shock! Don't get me wrong, I didn't want to be in the hospital, I'd much rather be at home, but I did want to know what was wrong with me. It was almost as if this crazy doctor was looking at someone Else's chart, a STONE? Who ever even mentioned a stone? So it was off to the house I went, and it's here I have been ever since. I still feel pretty awful, I am debating my options. I know I could go to another hospital. I am not against it, but it's just hard going to a place where you know NO ONE and your family isn't there. So I guess today I will have to make a decision. Let it go and just see if things get better on their own, or go to a hospital I am not familiar with and know no one at? Tough call...........

I'm just a passenger

Never thought I would hear myself say that, but it's true. I am just a passenger in my own body. Day to day, I never really know what to expect with it or what kind of "ride" I may be in for. Most days I feel like we are on a very curvy, sharp turned, crazy road that keeps me feeling queasy with every movement, and has me wondering what is next to come. Occasionally, I get a day in which I feel like we are traveling down a nice, quiet, dirt road, but those days are pretty few and far between. Reguardless, this is just a whole new ballgame for me and I am truly truly truly sympathizing with all you mama's out there who have been exactly where I am at right now. I know every pregnancy is different, but I guess when you go from having two, nearly perfect pregnancies, with very few sick days, no real complaints, and never really feeling "too bad", to THIS time around, feeling awful 90% of time, its a hard change to get used too. Thankfully I have made it through the 1st trimester though and with over 12 weeks under my belt, I am hoping I can at least experience some(even if only slight) relief from here. I'm hoping the next few weeks will keep me so busy, I can forget how bad I feel and actually enjoy the family/holiday time.

Aside from pregnancy stuff, life is going great. I truly am enjoying my new job with Alltel. I love the work I am doing and the people I work with. I am so lucky to have been blessed with this oppourtunity, and although it didn't all go as planned, I am hoping I am able to make alltel feel they are lucky to have me too!

The boys are doing great. I can't believe in a little over a month I will be a mommy to a 4 year old? It just goes to show you how fast it all goes by. I can remember so perfectly bringing him home from the hospital, and how tiny and sweet he was. He is still sweet, don't get me wrong...he is just NOT so tiny anymore. He has turned into such a little boy now, and somedays I feel like he is much older than he really is!

Camden is quite the little man himself. Having such a great older brother is definantly a blessing to him. He picks up so much from Carson, and they have a bond unlike any other. They have both finally reached the age now where they will just go off into their room and get engaged into cute little makebelieve games together. I absolutely love that they are able to occupy themselves without me having to always keep them busy. Although, I can't lie, SOMETIMES those two little minds get in trouble together. Haha have been several occasions that they have obviously conspired to start some trouble together(like just yesterday when they decided to sneak the syrup bottle into Carson's room and I caught them both eating it out of cups with spoons!:-)

Well it's off to work. I promise the next post will be a little more exciting, and def. have some pictures to liven it up!

You'd think I'd be used to this.....

This isn't my first rodeo. I mean, I have done this whole pregnancy thing two times already, and I have parented two, wild, healthy children, but suddenly I feel like this is the first time all over again and I am starting from scratch. Everything about this pregnancy is different than I have ever experienced before. I am sicker than I have ever been in my life, my boobs hurt all the time(it even hurts to take a shower!!!) and my hormones are extremely out of control. When I say that though, most people are probably thinking I am laughing hysterically one minuite and crying the next, but thats not the case. They seem to be out of control in other ways, I'm somewhat moody and snappy and not really emotional crying wise what so ever. This is DEFINANTLY something I am having to get used too and I am trying my hardest to keep it all undercontrol because the last thing I want to do is bite someone's head off for no real reason. I am sure I am really not THAT big, but I already have a little bump, and althought I know you show earlier and earlier with each pregnancy, I already feel huge!!

This past Tuesday we had an ultrasound to give us a more accurate due date and to make sure this little jelly bean was growing like they should be. When I got there the last gooped up the ultrasound wand and preceeded to rub it over my belly, I was slightly distured when nothing appeared on the screen, I mean after all I knew I was over 8 weeks and the fact that I was seeing no fetus was quite unsettling. She decided to do the "OTHER" ultrasound and as soon as she was in....BAM there popped up a nice, growing, 8 week and 1 day old fetus with a nice bounding 161 bpm heart. It appears my uterus is completely tilted backwards and so that makes things a little more difficult to see on a normal ultrasound. The tech said everything looked perfectly normal though, babies heart was beating beautifully and based on the measurements we are due June 27th 2011. I think things really registered then. There is just something magical about seeing/hearing that beating heart for the first time that really makes it all real. She scheduled us another ultrasound for the 25th of January to determine the sex...Super excited for that one!

We had our family pictures done this past weekend by my favorite photographer Carrie Reed, and I am super excited to see how they all turned out! She gave us a small sneak peak(although I think it teased me more than anything lol) and I am thinking they turned out pretty great! The boys were fairly cooperative and I think we may have gotten some really good shoots as a family! :-) Carrie always does amazing work, so no doubt that our sessiong will be anything short of that!!!

Well..off here for now! Hope everyone has a great week and more updates to come soon!

Back to Blogging

Well, I guess it's no secret that I have been MIA from the blog world for many months now. Life was has been so crazy over the last few months that I kind of put this on the back burner. Over the last few weeks though I have REALLY missed it, and I decided I was going to jump back on the bandwagon. I debated weather I should make this first blog in so long about what we've been doing over the months I have been away, or just jump right into where we are now, and I decided I think rehashing past months seems silly, and I want to just pick up where life has taken us at the moment.

Well as most of you know, I am on a vacation from school. I say vacation because I do plan to eventually go back, but I am not sure when "eventually" will be. I recently got offered a pretty amazing oppourtunity to work with a company called Alltel Wireless, and there is no doubt in my mind that this all happened for a reason. You see, I wasn't looking for a job. I had all intentions of just finishing up my degree, becoming a nurse, and that would be that. Unfortunantly, life doesn't always go exactly how we planned,and I had some setback with school, and the future became kind of blurry. Then, I was turned on to a great job oppourtunity, with great pay, full benefits, and it was something I knew I'd be great at. After much prayer, and lots of thought, I decided to take the job. Soon after I decided to take the job, I found the vehicle I had wanted for a very LONG time. It was a black honda pilot, third row seating, loaded with an ent. system, leather seats...EVERYTHING!!! It was like it was just sitting there, WAITING for me. I couldn't pas it up, and at the price I talked them down too, it was truly a steal, so in a very short time I had accomplished getting a new job and car, life was going good and heading in a totally new directions. Little did I know, God had put all these pieces in to play because of his DIVINE plan. Two weeks into my job, I got totally shocked and caught off guard when I was told I was pregnant during a routiene Doctor's visit. Three children was my life plan, but I had def. planned on holding off on a third child for a couple of years. As we all know, sometimes our plans and God's plans don't always match up, and as much as I wasn't planning on having another baby so soon, I was actually pretty excited when I was told the news. I didn't even really get upset, or freaked out, I just smiled and said, " Okkkk God, another baby it is, but I think this time it will def. be our last!" So that is where we are, lots of NEW and Exciting things happening in our lives. Carson and Camden are totally siked to have a new baby coming. Carson is really able to comprehend what that means and anytime he even hears someone mention the word baby, he says,"HEY, my mommy has a baby in her tummy!" He swears its a "sister" and he already has a name picked out for her, although I am not sure mommy and daddy are quite on board with the name yet lol! Most people want to know if we are praying for a daughter, but in all truth and honest I just want a healthy baby. Boy or Girl, I will be happy and blessed and know that God knows what our family needs. As of today I am between 7-8 weeks and I am thinking we are due around June 25th. We have an ultrasound scheduled in about a week to give us an "accurate" due date though, So I will update then if something changes!!!...So here is our lives...I am back to blogging, and I have to say it feels GOOD! :-)

A glimpse into the future!

As a mom, it's easy to let your mind wander into the future. I think all parents wonder what their child will be when they grow up. I often wonder if my boys will be into sports, or arts, or will they be bookworms. Whatever the case, I will support and be proud of whatever they decide to put their heart into. I will say though if NOW is any indication of whats to come, I may already have gotten a glimpse into the future.

Recently, I was uploading some pictures off my camera, when I came across some photos that I KNEW I didn't take. There were about 10 of them, and at first I thought, "Where in the world did these come from?" Then it hit me! My Doodle snagged my camera and decided to take some pictures of what is really important in HIS world, and in my opinion I don't think he did half bad! Is photography in his future?




Then I have my Cam-a-bam who LOVES to read. Well ok, so technically he can't actually READ, but he LOVES to look at books and study the pictures. He will sit with a book and look at each page over and over again for 15 or 20 minutes. I have to say I am absolutely elated he loves books, and it makes me wonder...will I have that bookworm child too??


I guess time will tell what the future holds for these sweet boys, but its funny to imagine all the possibilites that my babes will grow up to be!

Let's talk hair!

Yes, this post is all about HAIR! It's the topic around the Godwin household lately, so I thought I'd share with you all too!

First, let's start with mine. Last week my favorite hairdresser(and ONLY person I trust to touch my hair) asked me to be a guinea pig for a new smoothing system she ordered. The product is all natural and is actually supposed to be pretty healthy for your hair so I agreed. My hair is naturally curly and although I straighten it quite regularly, it can be very frizzy at times. Usually, my routine of getting ready takes about 30 mins just on the hair end of it. I have to blow dry and then flat iron, and let me just tell y'all after I have blown my hair dry, its typically a big, poofy, frizz ball. I have never in my life been able to just hop out of the shower and go, or leave my house without LOTS of work on my hair. Even if I wear it curly, I have to add lots of styling products and blow dry it with a diffuser just to make my curls refined. So, you can imagine how elated I was when my hair dresser told me this smoothing system would(hopefully) eliminate my frizz and make my hair much more manageable and straight. I went to the salon she works at on a Friday and she did the treatment on my hair in less than 3 hours. It was such a simple and painless process, free of fumes and nasty chemicals and I left with sleek hair and strict instructions that I couldn't wash it for 72 hours. I made sure I planned this over a weekend so if I had to have greasy hair for 3 days, it would at least be in the comfort of my own home! When 72 hours finally rolled around, you can probably guess how anxious I was to wash my hair and see how well(or not) it worked. Well....here is the proof! This is my hair...freshly washed and blow dried with only me running my hands through it to brush it! I give y'all my 100% promised I have not(in this picture) straightened it with a flat iron at all! I am honestly AMAZED at how smooth and straight it is now and for the first time EVER in my life I am able to just blow dry it and have it be sleek and frizz free! Now, I will say I do still use my flat iron to tame down some unruly pieces and fix my bangs, but as you can see in the picture my hair is for the most part silky smooth with just a quick blow dry! Its amazing! If you are interested in getting in on this awesome new product, give Claire a call @ Gussy Up! I'd defiantly recommend this to girls like me, who spend lots of time trying to tame the frizz!

In other hair news, my sweet Doodle is over three years old now and STILL has yet to have a hair cut! I think the sheer thought of it, brings me to tears and part of me never wants to cut his precious little curly hair. I know that is not realistic, but I looked at that big bald head for a long time and the fact that he actually has a head full of hair now is special to me haha! I have had some people tell me they think its getting a little unruly though so I want yall's honest opinion! I admit it can be(much like his mommy's) hard to tame sometimes, but I don't exactly think its out of control! Maybe I should just give in and get it trimmed up. I know it will grow back, but I am not sure I am ready to take that leap yet....what do y'all think?

I have......

so many GOOD things going for me that its not even funny! I am a blessed women and know that I have alot of things to be thanking God for. Not saying that I am perfect or bad things don't happen to me, but I certainly know I have much more beauty in my life than horror!! Its so easy to dwell on the negative. Lots of people live their lives everyday with the "why me?" and I refuse to be one of those people. Instead of WHY me, how about saying "WHY NOT ME?" I hope that if I can instill ONE thing in my children that they will carry with them all their lives(Other than GOD is number 1) its that beauty is much more important on the inside. Its the person you are under your skin that matters and having a pretty face doesn't get you where you need to go in life. Of course its wonderful to be physically pleasing, but if your heart is pure and beautiful that will carry you much further. With the society we live in, daily its thrown in our faces that you have to look a certain way to be quote on quote "normal" but that isn't true. I hate that our children will grow up seeing the altered pictures on billboards as what people are supposed to look like. Everyday people typically DON'T look like movie stars and its so silly that our generation has made being "perfect" the norm. We are all different but God made us perfect in his eyes, so be happy with what you were blessed with. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with "improving" but when you strive in life to be someone else, that is when things become a problem!

When I sit down and look at all the things I have going for me in life, I am overwhelmed with it all! I have an amazing husband that thinks I am gorgeous, smart, funny, and tells me I am an *Super*Mommy*- I have two adorable and mesmerizing little boys who enrich my life more than I could of ever dreamed. I am going to school to pursue my calling in life, I have a roof(a nice one) over my head, a car to drive, and a God who created me in his perfect image. What could I possible complain about?

And even though I said beauty is whats underneath. These two little boys sure are easy on the eyes and a pleasure to LOOK AT! :-)



And this guy isn't bad looking either


Yes God..I am so thankful for all I have good going for me. Its obvious how great your love is for me and the feeling is so mutual! :-)

Never have I ever

Never have I ever had pain like I have felt the last week. It started last Thursday in class when I started feeling these sharp, stabbing, radiating, pains in my back and side. I knew it was unlike anything I had ever felt before, but I wasn't going to rush to the hospital just yet. By Friday I was hurting even worse, almost as if I was having contraction and I knew that enough was enough. I headed to the Dr. only to be turned away basically by a P.A (who we will call "D") who didn't really take my pain seriously. she chalked it up to POSSIBLY being a kidney stone and dismissed me with a prescription for Tylenol. I was NOT a happy camper to say the least. By Saturday morning I was at my point of intolerance and I called back up to Urgent Care and was blessed to talk to a lady who actually took my pain seriously this time. Just for privacy sake, we will call her "C".She told me to come back in and she would take care of me. Let me just say, she was amazing. Two x-rays and a Iv of pain meds later, I was told I indeed had two kidney stones and hopefully would be able to pass them within a few days. "C" has even called me twice since to check in and see if I was feeling ok and if I'd passed any stones yet. Since I have never had kidney stones before, I wasn't 100% sure what they felt like, but after this experience, I can say they are ALOT like having a baby. Unfortunately, instead of there being a sweet little baby as the reward, this time you get NOTHING! Since I was still in lots of pain, and I hadn't passed the stones yet, "C" urged me to go get a CT scan done at the hospital, just to be sure they looked small enough for me to pass and to rule out any other possible problems. Not only was I still in pain, but having bad breakouts of sweat too. I was waking up in pools of sweat at night from the pain and Derek was even telling me I really needed to do something as well! As much as I didn't want to do it, I dragged myself into the ER yesterday and to my surprise they got me RIGHT back. I was once again hooked up to Iv's given fluids and pain meds and I experienced my first ever CT scan. It was interesting to say the least, but I was able to confirmed that my ureter was dilated(due to passing 1 stone...YAY!) and I still indeed have one to pass. The Dr. seemed very confident that I would be able to pass it within the next few days though, hopefully with no problems. So now I am just waiting and praying this things expels itself sooner rather than later. Derek has just been so amazing through all this though. He has totally taken over when I needed him too and let this mommy get the rest she needs to recover. I am so thankful to have him as a husband, I'd be so lost without him!

On top of all that, today I broke out in a very strange, itchy, raised rash all over my feet. I have never had this happen before and I am wondering if its maybe a reaction to some kind of medication I am on, or is it just these new socks? I bought some new socks and didn't wash them before I wore them today.... Hmmm....guess time will tell. I will tell y'all one things though..I NEED A BREAK FROM ALL THIS CRAZINESS!!! One positive thing about it is, that I can relate to my patients alot better since I have been through this stuff.

I cannot believe this quarter is almost over! It has flown by SO super fast, and we are down to the last few weeks. Clinicals start tomorrow and I am excited and nervous at the same time! I can't wait to get that hands on experience, but I sure hope I don't make a fool out of myself! I know I am still learning and new at all this, but I don't want to make any mistakes that can jeopardize my patients so I am just praying I can remember all the important stuff we have learned thus far when it comes down to dealing the real deal! Wish me luck!

And last but not least I will leave you with a few cute pictures of my little bear! I love these pictures because at first he was ok with me snapping a few and then he covered up his face and said "No Mo" ...meaning NO MORE lol!

Change can be a good thing!

A lot has changed over the last week and it was actually all positive things! I got a "new do" which I totally love! Its different than anything I have ever had and its so ME! I have had highlights before, but I tend to usually just stick with my natural, dark brown. This past week I posted about how I went a little crazy and switched things up a bit and I do LOVE LOVE LOVE the change. I went with red and blonde highlights and it turned out just how I wanted it. I hope I actually take the time to keep getting it done and keep it this way! Here are some pictures for those who haven't seen it yet! Before: and After:


Another BIG change is we are now a TWO car family! YAY! This past week Derek became the proud owner of a 2005 F250, and he is over the moon. It was really awesome how God put all the pieces together, and the opportunity unfolded so beautifully right before our eyes. The truck was actually Derek's dads, but he really no longer has the need or desire for something that big. It just so happened we needed another vehicle desperately and when Derek's dad offered to sell it to him for a great price, we jumped right on it!! Now we are BOTH able to take the boys to school if needed and/or pick them up! Its wonderful knowing that I am not the only one capable of doing that, and its already helped me out tremendously. I was starting to wonder what in the world we were going to do on those days where I have clinicals starting at 6:45 a.m., but now that is no longer an issue! I am just sooo thankful for yet another blessing God has given us!

Speaking of clinicals, we had our orientation this week. I have to admit, I was a little nervous about our first clinical rotation. I know its going to be at a nursing home, and every nursing home I have ever been inside has just be horrible. I have to say though, after orientation my mind has totally changed. The nursing home we will be working in is SUPER nice. I was so surprised at how well kept the place was and I am now feeling like this rotation will not be so bad after all! I surely hope that if I ever have to be placed into a nursing home it will be somewhere as nice as this place!

Camden is feeling MUCH better. After a little weekend of R&R he was right back to his silly little self! Although he was sick, I let him enjoy the glimpse of snow we got Friday. That was certainly an unexpected change(but an AMAZING one)from the weather we are used to seeing around here. Derek and I took the boys outside for just long enough to let them get the experience, and then we came in and enjoyed watching it fall from our warm living room! Here are some pictures I snapped (and YES that is Derek's new truck you see in the very last picture)



So this past week has definitely been filled with changes, but sometimes change can be a BEAUTIFUL thing! :-)

Its a beautiful life!

It really is, not saying there aren't those rainy nasty days, but for the most part we are truly blessed!

We filed our income taxes this week and its just amazing how God provides our needs. God never said he would provide all our wants, but without a doubt I know he is going to supply us with our needs when we turn to him. We really weren't sure what to expect for a tax return this year. Derek's hope was to get enough back to pay off our two credit cards, and I was really really really hoping to have enough to also get a laptop for school. Can you guess what we got back? Almost to the DOLLAR amount to do BOTH those things. We can successfully pay off the credit cards and there will be just enough left to get that laptop I am needing for school! Isn't God awesome!?!

This week I decided to go a little crazy and get something different done to my hair. I know brown looks good on me, but I wanted to shake things up a little and get some highlights. You see, its very RARE for me to go and get my hair done. I get it trimmed every 4 months of so, but other than that, I just let it do its thing. Yesterday however, I was feeling slightly spunky and decided to make a change. My hair dresser was I think shocked I was actually willing to let her do something new and we were all excited to see the NEW LOOK. Not 10 mins after she gets my color rinsed though, I get a call from Camden's school saying he is having difficulty breathing and they think he needs to go the ER. As a mother, do you know how scary it is to get a call like that? So wet (freshly colored) hair gets thrown up on top of my head and OUT THE DOOR I FLY! I put my flashers on and zoom to his school. Right before I get there, I get another call from the director there saying she thinks I need to hurry because now not only is his little tummy contracting when he breathes, but he is having to use his neck muscles too. I get there, get him in the car and fly to the Ped center. And as if I am not having a stressful enough afternoon, they bring me back, only to place me with a Dr. who I really do not care for. Pushing my biased aside, I try and just keep focused on Camden and hope this Dr. will just do the best she can in treating my baby and also somewhat hoping my mind will be changed about her. I do however ask why I cannot just see my normal Ped. Dr and am quickly told he has a full load of patients and I can only see the Dr. they put me with since she is the emergency on call Dr. that day. Camden is still at this point breathing very heavily and I am not happy with what I see, the Dr. seems unconcerned(and I am starting to like her even less) but I just keep telling her this is certainly not normal for him. The Dr. tells me she will do a breathing treatment on him and go from there, but she thinks he just has a bad cold. When she steps out of the room I tell my mother in law(who is there with me) that I really wish I could just see Cam's normal Dr. Not a minute later the Dr. they put me with FLIES in the room and proceeds to tell me if I don't want her to treat my child that I just need to LEAVE and go to the ER. She very rudely explains that SHE is the Dr. on call and I am not a Dr. so I need to let her do her job, or go somewhere else with someone I am more comfortable with! CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE MY JAW dropping to the floor at this point? I explain to her that I am not trying to be rude, but I am just more comfortable with my own Dr. and that its not anything against her(which probably was a lie, but I am not trying to start a fight with this women, keep in mind my child is still gasping for air at this point) She then proceeds to explain to me that she keeps hearing me ask to see my own Dr. and that she doesn't want to treat Camden if I cant trust her, or If I don't feel comfortable with her. She keeps urging me to just go the the Er if I think they will take better care of my son. At this point my BLOOD is boiling and I look at her and say, " LISTEN do you want the truth, well the truth is NO I don't like you, I don't trust you, You gave me older son ear drops for pink eye when he was 6 months old and could of severely damaged his eye, so YES I have reasons why I would feel more comfortable with my own Ped. Dr.!" After another 2 to 3 mins of her being blatantly UGLY to me, I say , "Listen my son is over there struggling to breath, DO SOMETHING, stop arguing with me and PLEASE help my baby!" She says ,"Ok" and tells the nurse to hook up a breathing machine. As soon as she leaves the room I burst into tears and my mother in law says, "Hallie that women just TOTALLY crossed the line, you have every right to be upset right now!" and I was, let me tell yall, I was more than upset, I wanted to scream words at that women that don't typically come out of my mouth, but Camden is much more important that that. I had to push aside all those emotions I was feeling and focus on getting him breathing normally. About half way through the breathing treatment the Dr. comes back in and says, " Well I have good news for you, I have been called away to an emergency so you will be getting to see your regular Dr!"....all I could think was THANK YOU JESUS, you always have my back! :-) My regular Dr. Tim JONES came in and was just as sweet as he could be, he took care of my little bear as if it were his own child and my anxiety melted right away. THANK GOD FOR HIM, he is the only reason I even bother with that Dr.'s office at all. Camden has bronciolitis, so our weekend will be filled with breathing treatments every four hours, just LOVELY, but hey I will do anything to NOT see my baby breathing like that again, its was really scary and not a good experience at all!

Those are NOT the plans I had for my weekend by the way, I had planned to do something sweet and romantic for Derek for Valentine's day. Not sure that we will be doing much of anything romantic, but spending time with my 3 adorable Godwin boys will be good enough for me! Some women only get one valentine, but I am blessed with 3 guys fighting for my affection, Yep, its a BEAUTIFUL life! :-)

I could sleep for days!

Seriously, I could. I have no clue why, but this week I have been soo stinkin tired. Last night, I was asleep by 8:45 p.m. and the night before I was out like a light by 9:30. I think everything is finally catching up with me, and my body is craving some good solid sleep! These have been some very LONG days since school started, and I think I will defiantly be investing in some vitamin B6 this week to boost my energy levels! Like I said before I was in bed by 8:30 last night, I got up this morning at 6:45 to get the boys dressed so Derek could take them to school, I went back to sleep until 9 when I was promptly woken up by the astro man ringing our doorbell, and now(11:11 am) I am still feeling like I could go back to sleep for a few more hours! WHATS UP WITH THAT?!

On a different note, Tuesday was my Goal speech. It went very well. The judges seemed to really enjoy what I had to say, and had lots of good questions for me. I think I answered them all very gracefully, but I was unfortunately not one of the four finalist picked from our school. There were a total of 16 nominees, made up from students of all different majors at SWGTC, and only 4 were allowed to move on to the next level. As much as I thought I would be, I can honestly say I am not disappointed. I feel I did a good job, and I am just trusting that this wasn't in God's plan for me. I am honored I was just nominated in the first place.

School is moving along SO FAST! We are learning to insert NG tubes this week and let me just tell yall, I HOPE I never have to have one. I might end up being an exceptionally awesome nurse, but I can promise you I will be one of the worst patients. If I see someone heading my way, ready to shove a tube through my nose and into my stomach, I will kick, slap and maybe even BITE my way out of the room! JUST KIDDING(well maybe not). It looks terribly uncomfortable to say the least, and I will really be pitying any patients who are unlucky enough to have me inserting one.

My Godwin boys are all doing good! Derek is working like crazy (God love him for it) and the little Godwin boys are wild as ever! Carson's beloved Mater fell apart this week, and we are all morning the loss. Look at all we have been through with him:



I mean my goodness, we have been through Halloween's, beach trips, double riders, naked booty's, and tons more. We had some amazing times with Mater, and some great memories. When I think back to Carson's baby/toddler years, I will always remember his MATER! We bought him from Target before Camden was born( Carson was around 15 months old) and I can honestly say there didn't go a day that Carson didn't play with him. As you can see in the last picture, he had gotten to the point he was relying on tape to keep him going. His steering wheel has begun to crack and was at the point of falling off, and I am sad to say Wednesday night he finally bit the bullet! :-(
FORTUNATELY, my mom couldn't bear the news and went right out and ordered a NEW MATER. Carson is going to be overjoyed when he gets that package, and we will be happy to have him back in the family. I wish I could of videotaped Carson's reaction when Mater fell apart. He said, "OH NO MOMMY, we have to go to WALMART right now and get new Maters!" I wasn't sure we'd even be able to find another one or if they still made them, but I am thankful to say they do!

On a final note, lots of people warned me that I may put on some pounds going to school. They said the stress factor, and my butt plopped in a desk most of the day might just do it. I am THANKFUL to report that SO isn't my case, in fact I have lost about 8 lbs and am now only about 8lbs away from my PRE-CARSON weight! It has been a long road getting here, but I am super proud and feeling like a HOTT MAMA again! I'd like to loose a total of about 15 more all together, but I can honestly say I am starting to like my body again! I think the STRESS and lack of time to eat has actually helped me during school and not hindered me one bit. I also try to snack healthy and keep water at hand instead of hitting the vending machines up for Soda's and snacks. Those of you trying to loose CAN DO IT! I am the proof!

Alright, time to get to this cleaning I have been avoiding all week! Have a blessed Weekend!

GOAL speech

So, this is the speech I have put together to read this morning to the panel of judges. I was asked to write about myself and my family, my program, how the education I recieve has/or will change me, why I choose SWGTC, and my future plans/goals. I figured its safe to post it this morning, since hopefully no one else will be readying my blog to steal my ideas! :-)
HERE IT IS:

Goal Presentation
Hello! My name is Hallie Godwin. I am a 23 year old, mother, wife, and student from Thomasville, Ga. I share this life with my best friend Derek whom I married in June of 2006, and together we have two amazing and adorable little boys named Carson and Camden. I am proud to be an A.D.N student here at South West Georgia Technical College, and am looking forward to all the opportunities this career will offer me. With the nursing demand growing, I like the flexibility of knowing that no matter where I choose to live, my skills will always be needed. I also love the diversity nursing offers. I can work a fast paced, life saving job in the emergency room, or a slower paced, one on one job in a Doctor’s office. The possibilities are numerous. It’s very assuring knowing there are so many different options my education will enable me to have. I know that my education is the first building blocks I will need though in order to become a successful nurse.

Although I just started my actual program, I have already witnessed how committed the faculty is to teaching their students everything they will need to know in order to step out of the classroom and directly into a job. Not only will we be equipped with all the theories and fundamental of nursing, but we will also be taught the hands on skills to be successful in the nursing field too. That played a big factor in why I choose Southwest Georgia Technical College for my education. I wanted to earn a degree in which I’d immediately be able to apply what I learned to my profession. Technical colleges do just that, and I really commend the fact that they stand behind their student’s education. I can already see the benefits of the training I am receiving, and cannot wait to see how much this whole experience is going to change not only my life, but the life of my family as well. I am looking forward to giving my children a brighter future, and enhancing my own by entering a career in which the main focus is helping others. Even if I wasn’t lead to become a nurse, I still see myself choosing a Technical College for my education. I have many friends whom are currently enrolled in other programs here, and I have yet to hear them have negative remarks regarding the learning and training experiences they are receiving. I have even had prior graduates brag on the staffs willingness and efforts to help them be placed into a job upon graduation. I have no doubts that when I complete my program in June of 2011, I will be shown the same help and encouragement.

When I enrolled here at SWGTC, I already had a very clear vision of my career goals and plans for the future. I felt God urging me to pursue the desires of my heart, and now ( A year later) I still feel that way. Honestly, as a child, I never really knew what I wanted to be. That is why I sometimes jokingly call nursing, “The career that choose me!” It wasn’t until after I gave birth to my two sons, that I knew nursing was my calling. My entire motivation for becoming a nurse is based on the exceptional care I received during the hospital stays of childbirth. As I embark on this journey and transformation of becoming an R.N, I do it with the goal of one day being the caregiver alongside expectant mothers, helping them cope with the trails of labor. I know that as long as I never lose sight of why I started the career in the first place, that I will do an excellent job. I hope to leave work each day with the satisfaction of knowing that I positively impacted someone’s life. I want to make this profession more than just a job. I want to make it my passion.

I would like to close by saying I am honored to be nominated for the Georgia Occupational Award of Leadership, and I truly feel I would do an excellent job of representing our school!

IM ALIVE!

For those of you who are wondering, YES I AM ALIVE! I have neglected my blogging duties for about two weeks now, not because I have nothing to blog about, but more because of lack of time and energy. However, today I have no classes and some free time on my hands so I wanted to reassure everyone that I am indeed still here.

Since the last time I blogged lots has happened I am sure. I cannot probably remember all the little things I wanted to share, but I will try to sum up the good(and not so good) points.

Derek's sweet Memaw passed away last week. She was an amazing and loved women who will be VERY missed. I think I speak for her family when I say we are all thankful she passed fairly peacefully and did not spend lots of time suffering. Although we will miss her greatly, we all are resting assure that she is in a far more beautiful place than we are, and we will see her again someday. I have some great memories with her. Most of them involve the boys(because she was head over heels for them). One of the things I know I will never forget about Memaw was the hours she spent waiting for her great-grandbabies to be born. I know she waited so patiently in that waiting room every hour of labor, and from the moment they arrived she was waiting with open arms. She absolutely LOVED her time with her babies. I am so sad the boys will probably not be old enough to remember her, but I will be sure to keep her alive with stories and pictures. I want them to know how much their Memaw loved them. Since she has passed we have all spent lots of time together as a family. We have went through TONS of old pictures at her house, and its so awesome seeing so many memories. I really cherish old pictures and I have seen so many adorable ones of Derek's daddy. Its soo cute seeing the little things my boys have inherited(looks wise) from their Daddy's side of the family. Its kind of strange, but when I found out Carson was a boy, I was kind of stuck on the name TUCKER. Derek wouldn't agree too it, so I pushed it out of my mind. Again with Camden, TUCKER was one of the first names on my list, but Derek still wasn't budging. Funny thing is, TUCKER is the last name of Derek's memaws family. No wonder I was so drawn to it! :-)
Also, I found out Derek's great-grandmother's name was America. That is so unique and different. I told Derek if we ever had a daughter we should name her America, but so far he isn't going for it. You never know though, there could be a MISS AMERICA in our future! ;-)

School is BUSY. I cannot believe how fast things are happening and my ability to keep up. Its week 4 and we have already learned how to properly catheterize someone. YIKESSS! I have managed 2 B's and 1 A on our first three test and I must say I am very proud of that. I know it is going to get harder but for the most part I am keeping up pretty well. I won't sit here and make it sound easy, because it certainly isn't. I am exhausted by the time 9 p.m. rolls around, but I will say I am enjoying every minute of it! Everyday is an adventure, and I am embracing it with open arms! I think I am going to make an EXCELLENT nurse, and I hope that I remember all the reasons I started this profession in the first place.

Remember that GOAL award I was nominated for? Well Tuesday is the day I have to speak and do my presentation. I am a little nervous, but overall feeling confident. Will yall pray for me? Pray God's favor, because that new car would sure be a true blessing to this family!!!

The boys(ALL 3) are doing good. Camden has adjusted into his new routine and is starting to LOVE his little school. He is also starting to get into that tantrum stage and I can't lie, its driving me NUTS! Thank goodness for me I know that its a normal stage(Carson did this too), but I am ready for it to be over with PRONTO! He is at the age where if things don't go his way, its TOTAL MELTDOWN, and you would think the world has just ended. I am working on patience and praying God grants me the wisdom and guidance to handle these little temper tantrums in the right way. I think that knowing Camden's sweet and loving side helps too. I know that he has the most precious little heart and although he can be very strong willed, he is also the sweetest little bear too. He will reach up with those little arms, and just lay there so peacefully as you rock him. He loved to be LOVED! As for Carson, well, lets just say he is surprising me alot lately. I don't know what happened, but overnight I feel like he has grown YEARS. The things he says these days are just so grown up and I am wondering what happened to my baby Carson. He amazes me, and I think everyone one else who meets him too!

Well, its the weekend! We don't have much planned, but I am sure we will find something to get into. Hope everyone has a safe and blessed weekend, and you will be hearing from me again soon(alot sooner this time I promise) I am sure.

I can't remember life before....

You Carson. As we celebrate your third birthday, I can't remember how I felt before you were in our lives, and I don't want too. I remember the night you were born, and how I felt at that very moment, and how nothing I had ever felt before that could ever touch the feeling of meeting you for the first time. You were(and still are)so perfect, with that little bald head and those big blue eyes! I remember those first few days of "getting to know you"

and how we just felt so amazingly blessed that we were chosen to be your parents. We were in awe of you and still are. Today, as you turn three years old I can still see that little baby Carson when I look at you! Although you have grown MORE HAIR(thank goodness) and you have alot more to say these days, you still are our baby Carson.

Yesterday we had a party to celebrate the three years God has blessed us with you in our lives. As I was watching you run and play, I thought about all the joy you bring to me. Everyone you meet falls in LOVE with you. You have the cutest and funniest personality and the ability to make people laugh with just the words you say. This past year I have watched you blossom so much more into a little boy. Although I can still see my "baby Carson," the truth is you really aren't a baby anymore. Of course you wil always be MY BABY, but you are growing and changing and now you are so much more independant than ever before. You tell me things you want, express your feelings, and are able to really conversate. You told me all about how you wanted a "Mater Party"(incase you aren't understanding, that would be TOW MATER from Cars)how you want to be a nurse like mommy when you grow up, and how much you love school. Hearing you tell me whats on your heart is the most rewarding part of being a mommy. I love hearing your stories and ideas! When I look at you with those GOREGOUS sandy blonde curls and those greenish/blue eyes, my heart overflows with love for you! I know I am not perfect with you Carson. I know I am going to make mistakes as a parent, but I want you to know how unbelievably proud I am that you are my son. You are my strength that pushes me to work harder in life, strive more for my dreams, and to make you proud that I am your mommy! Happy 3 Years! Can't wait to see what the 4th year holds for us! :-)

Now I leave you with pictures from the party!