MY Own Miracle

A year ago today, I was getting hooked up to monitors, and preparing to be induced and meet someone who didn't really seem real to me yet. I remember having so many emotions pouring through me. Half of me could hardly hold back the tears thinking that Carson would no longer be our ONLY son, and how he may hate us for bringing someone else in and taking away his spotlight. Yes, I know some of you may be thinking these are weird thoughts, but this is actually true honesty here, and these were really my raw emotions. The other half of me had already grown attached to this person inside me, and although I had no idea what he would look like, I pictured holding this tiny little guy and it just feeling RIGHT.

My labor zoomed by fast that day. I got there at 8a.m, close to 4 cms dilated and 80% effaced, and by 2o'clock,after having my water broken and an epidural, I was already feeling the urge to push. I pushed with everything I had, and I made great progress. At 2:51p.m Camden emerged with his tiny hand right by his face! I will never forget the first time I saw him, It was without a doubt LOVE. I took one look at his face, and the tears just came like a summer rain. I just held him and bawled, and it was then I knew the true meaning of unconditional love. Not even really KNOWING this little boy, I loved him unconditionally and forever.

I still felt I was missing someones seal of approval. Later that day I got it. Seeing Carson meet Camden for the first time was so amazing. He walked into the room with my mom and sister and they said "OK there he is" and Carson without any hesitation, marched right over to him and said "MY BABY!" then proceeded to give him a kiss on his little dark haired head. All my fears were washed away. It was if Carson had known all along this baby was coming and that he was HIS. To this day Carson still tells people Camden is "HIS BABY BUBBA!"

The months have flown by since then. We had some tough times with his horrible reflux, and non-antibiotic responding ears, but you know what I wouldn't trade for anything in this WORLD! Camden came into this family,and fit just like a perfect piece to the puzzle. God doesn't make mistakes with timing. I can remember before he was born thinking it was too soon for Carson not to be the baby anymore, but now I realize I have given Carson so much more than I ever could have imagined. I have give him his BEST FRIEND. Ask anyone who sees them together and you will know that couldn't be more true. They have a special brotherly bond that makes my heart smile!

Camden you are SO loved. Anyone who meets you falls in love with your silly little personality and that contagious smile! I have only known you for a year,but you are truly one of the loves of my life, and I could never picture my world without you in it! I cannot wait to watch you continue to grow and thrive. Thank you God for making Camden MY BABY :).


oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAMDEN RAY GODWIN, My sweet little bear