The beggining of my rambelings

So, today is December 15, 2008 and this will be my first of probably MANY bloggings! I am starting this blog, not really for any reason inparticular, but more for me to just let out my feelings, and thoughts! Sometimes my mind seems to be soo full of thoughts that I need somewhere to put them all, and what better place than a BLOG!

Well today my kids are being relatively good. They are both down for their naps, and I try and CHERISH the quiet moments when they are both asleep! Sometimes I clean, take a shower, watch a little t.v, or play on the computer, but really it is my only time during the day that is just ME time! So today I have been thinking about the fact that in about a month I will have a two year old! I am AMAZED that two years have almost gone by since Carson was born. It is going by way to fast. At this rate he will be starting kindergarden before I know it! In his short (almost) two years of life, he has taught me so much! I learn something new everyday because of him!! I truly think God uses Carson and Camden to SHOW and TEACH me things! He definantly uses them to teach me patience and grace!!! God shows you things in the most mysterious ways sometimes, but who better for him to use than my kids to teach me valuable things in life!!

God is SO good! I am not thankful enough for all the things he does for me! What a provider he is! Thinking back to about a month ago, I remember being soo stressed about Christmas! With Derek being the only one bringing in an income right now, it is hard to just pay our bill, let alone buy extra things for our kids and loved ones! I even cried a few times because I was just so scared of not being able to give my kids and family a good Christmas, and I know that probably sounds stupid because most of you are thinking, "Carson is two, he doesn't know what Christmas is even about yet!" but the point is I DO! Nothing would make me happier christmas morning than to see his little face light up as he opens his presents! Not to worry though, GOD PROVIDED! We have been SOOOOOO blessed already this christmas. We were able to buy our kids so many nice things, and Derek and his dad built them the most awsome playset! How or where we got the money, I couldn't even tell you! The only person I can give the credit too is God, because somehow he provided it for us!!!

Some of you don't know this, but before I met Derek I wasn't really close with God! I believed there was a God, but I didn't grow up going to church, or have parents who really taught me about Jesus. My dad is Jewish and his family was very faithful and strict in their religion, but my dad didn't really teach me about the Jewish culture. My mom's family was mainly raised SOUTHERN BAPTIST, but growing up although my mother never, ever discouraged me from going to church, she also didn't encourage it either. That is why I say, "Derek saved me!" My life has done a 180 from where I was. Now that I know God, I am showered with blessings and I know I am truly LOVED! I find myself convicted of things that didn't used to bother me! I find myself censoring movies, music, and culture that surrounds me and my children( and some of that my be accounted to just being a mother too lol) but it is so wierd! 5 Years ago, I probably wouldnt of thought twice about watching a movie with tons of profanity, violence, sexual content, ect....but now I find myself disgusted at most of what I see on t.v! I am ashamed at the fact that 90% of the shows are so full of language and nudity and so sexually obscene! I want to know WHEN it became ok to say "G.D" on tv? That is just SAD! And don 't get me wrong, nothing is wrong with SEX between a husband and wife, but it is THROWN in our face all over t.v and we wonder why men are addicted to porn! You can't turn on the t.v anymore without seeing a women with seductive clothing on practically SEDUCING our husbands through the TV! I was watching a show with Derek the other night (UFC to be exact! He is really into the mixed martial arts stuff) and they showed a women in a bathing suite and made SURE to focus in on her breast and butt and I thought to myself, WHY DID THEY JUST DO THAT? I mean the show would of been just as appealing without that. The show is based on caged fighting, what does that have to do with NAKED women? But I take it they figured, "Hey, lets throw this barely clothes women in there, and guys will want to watch it just that much more!" It is like producers feel like if they aren't showing a sexy women in barely any clothing then men won't watch it. If they only knew how much that effects marriages! It puts FAKE sterio types on what women and sex should be like! It makes it seem like all women should have these SUPER hot bodied and always be ready in SEXY attire! Sex should be something sacred and special between two people who love each other, NOT something so raunchy like they make it out on movies and T.v!

Well I think I have rambeled ENOUGHfor today lol! Time to get a little something productive done while the kids sleep!!