Sunday, June 28, 2009

Witnessing a Miracle From A Different Side Of Things!

Well as most of you know I have given birth twice, and it is without a doubt the most AWESOME thing I have ever experienced! Although many may think this next statement is CRAZY, but I think I could have a 10 children just to experience the feeling of giving birth and the amazing euphoric high you feel afterwards(not to mention the little miracle you get out of the deal :) ) Although I have experienced myself, I have never in real life seen anyone else actually give birth...well until now!

I met Aaron last fall and her and I quickly became VERY good friends! It is one of those friendships(at least on my part haha) that although we haven't known each other that long, I feel as if we have been best friends since childhood. We just GET each other. We are so much alike it scares me sometimes, but I have this strong feeling that our friendship is the kind that will never die and we will be little old ladies playing bingo one day! She told me it better NOT after what all she let me see!

Anyways, back to the story, Aaron and her husband Steven were expecting their first child. They were letting the baby's gender be a surprise and Aaron really wanted a natural childbirth. A week after her due date(June 16th) she gave decided to let the Dr's induce, but she STILL wanted this to be a pain med free experience! She told me that she would like me to be there during the labor and I was just tickled pink! Since Aaron isn't from here, she really doesn't have any family here besides her husbands. When she asked me to be in the room I felt HONORED because I knew she was counting on me for support! She had told me previously that she wasn't sure if she would want anyone but Steven in the room during the actual delivery part, and I was completely fine with this because I know how special and emotional that time is for a mommy and daddy. When induction day rolled around, I was so anxious to get to the hospital. I arrived around noon June 26th and she was 5 cms and they had broken her water, but not yet started any pitocin. I think her midwife was hoping her body would jump start into labor after they broke her water, but sadly that wasn't the case. Around 2ish they decided to start pitocin. She was still 5 cms and almost completely effaced. I think we all at that point though we may be in for a long day! When the pitocin started REALLY taking its effect, I could see Aaron was beginning to feel true pain. She was so amazing though she just breathed through the contractions and her husband and I both just kept reminding her how awesome she was! There came a point a few hours later where I could tell she was REALLY REALLY REALLY hurting, the midwife came and and checked her and said she was around 6 cms and the baby had dropped lower into her birthing canal. I think only dilating one more centimeter was slightly discouraging though for Aaron because she was thinking things should of progressed more by this point. I could see how much pain she was in and it was a crazy feeling because I kept feeling myself want to cry. I kept thinking about how hard it was seeing someone I cared about hurting and knowing I couldn't do anything to help. I know at this point the epidural option was really crossing Aaron's mind. I wanted her to do whatever it was that was truly going to make her happy without putting my opinion or experiences in(because YES I did have epidurals with both my boys). Lucky for me, her nurse(who was defiantly a God send) came in and reminded Aaron how bad she knew she wanted a natural birth, and reassuring her that she could indeed get through this! That was a turning point for Aaron. It was like at that moment she pushed out ANY thought of pain relief, and started focusing on getting through the pain on her own and meet her bundle of joy! Here is Aaron doing such a beautiful job getting through some tough contractions(and this just has to be one of the most beautiful pictures I have ever taken) I love the way her sweet husband is looking at her and getting her through it. It didn't take long for that unforgettable feeling that most of us moms can relate to of "I've GOT TO PUSH!" I knew things were getting close, and I was so excited and anxious for her, but I remembered her saying that she wasn't sure about anyone else being in the room. I was ready to leave when she asked me to stay and of course I was elated! What an honor for someone to let you be there for the birth of their baby. I watched in amazement for maybe a whole 30 minutes as she pushed and saw this head with lots of dark hair start to emerge! Here she is pushing like a pro. Even her midwife kept commenting on how awesome of a pusher she was, as if she'd birthed three children before. I immediately started bawling my eyes out(probably more than I had with my own children) and was so anxious to see if I was going to be welcoming a little Peyton Marie or Wyatt Lewis! By this time Steven was crying like a baby and Aaron was giving it all she had, and then faster than I could even process this tiny body emerged. I waited to hear those three magic words, and then they came...."ITS A GIRL!"

Yep, PEYTON MARIE was born at 7:13 p.m. weighing 7lbs 8ozs and 20 inches long! She was beautiful, and perfect see

I couldn't of been more proud of Aaron. She is so strong and made natural childbirth TRULY look easy! Infact, so easy that I plan on doing it next time around myself! Seeing Peyton come into this world was truly an honor and a life changing experience! I have a sweet place for her in my heart and she will FOREVER be special to me! Thank you GOD for putting Aaron, Steven and now Peyton Marie into my life! :)

Sunday, June 21, 2009

And I Thought I Loved You Then

10 years ago, I remember sitting at a high school football game with two girlfriends, flirting with these cute guys behind us. I'll never forget how one of the guys picked on me and my curly hair, or how I pretended to have no interest what so ever in him either. I couldn't possibly forget how those butterflies in my tummy felt 9 or so months later when he kissed me. Yes, if you are counting back the years in this you will realize I was just a mere 13(well by the time he kissed me 14 THANK YOU :) ) and although I had probably written my first name with his last name 100000000 times, never did I imagine I would really be signing checks that way, seeing it on our bills, and hearing people say it aloud. Yes, of course I am talking about Derek.

Don't get me wrong, Derek and I didn't have this perfect high school sweetheart love. We actually didn't "date" in high school much at all. After that initial "puppy love" thing, we both went our separate ways, dated other people, but somehow(No, not somehow at all, of COURSE it was God) we found our way back to each other. We wondered what had taken both of us so long. Guess God has his perfect timing or maybe it was that free will thing that had been in our way! Whatever the case, now here we are, together for 4 years now, happily married for 3, and super proud parents for 2. It is amazing how life plays out!

How could I have known at 13 that the night of that football game I would be meeting the father or my children, my husband, my soul mate? I couldn't have! I am so glad Derek is my husband though. He is not perfect, WE are not perfect. We fight over stupid things, but we honestly love each other and no matter what comes our love is FOREVER!

I remember the night we found out we were pregnant with Carson. I was terrified, but Derek was the most excited man on the planet! I'll never forget the look on his face, the biggest smile in the world, and how he couldn't wait to tell anyone who would listen. I should of known right then he would be the world's most amazing father. After Carson was born, I would listen to friends say, "Well my husband doesn't change diapers!", or "My husband won't get up in the middle of the night" and I just smiled because I knew Derek does all those things. What could make you love a man more than creating a life with him, and seeing him go above and beyond to help that life grow and thrive? NOTHING! When Camden came along I was scared Derek and I couldn't love someone like we did Carson. I was wrong, because the moment I saw Camden come into this world I was head over heals, over the moon, in love. I will never forget those first precious days with Camden, seeing Derek hold him and kiss him, change his first POOPY diaper :). I knew he felt the same way I did, it was LOVE. I fall in love with him all over again everytime I see him snuggle up with Camden, or read Carson his nightly bedtime story. Derek is without a doubt an example of what a Dad should be.

Sometimes I am forgetful about how lucky I am to have Derek. Today, I couldn't possibly forget. Today is father's day and instead of being here with us (Where he should be) he is working. I know not because he wants to, but because that is the providing man he is. He has to get this job done, and Derek is a man of his word. That is what I love about him, he doesn't make me false promises. He tells me he will do something and he always follows through. I guess that is why I never question if our love is forever, because he promised me it was and I know that it is!

Derek I love you more than words can say, without you I'd be lost. You are an amazing man of God, father, and my best friend!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

There is a first time for everything

As humans, we are probably always experiencing SOMETHING for the first time. More when we are younger than adults, but even adults have first time experiences quite often. There are a ton of things that if I ever get to experience it will be my first time, like going on a cruise for example. That is something that hopefully one day will be a "first" for me. I have never eaten at a fondue restaurant, so if I ever visit one, again it will be my FIRST TIME. Although, isn't it funny how we react so differently to a baby doing something for the "first time." We gush with pride and excitement. I know unlike a baby, if/when I visit that first fondue restaurant, there will NOT(well at least I hope not) be a crowd of people around saying "YAY Hallie, aww you're such a big girl now, I am SOOOOOOO proud of you, YAY!!!!" As for Camden and Carson, the first time they do ANYTHING I think I will always be right there, grinning from ear to ear, cheering them on!

This week has been a week of first for Camden! The first "first" he experienced this week was drinking(without me trying to force him) out of a sippy cup. A Month or so ago, I purchased some sippy cups for him with a semi-soft spout. The wrapping said for ages 7+ months so I figured this would be perfect to start him with. Unfortunately, he did not agree. He wanted NOTHING to do with this thing, and he had no problem letting me know it. With Carson, I started him on a sippy cup most moms are probably familiar with called "Nuby." The spouts are super soft and to be honest almost bottle like just with a different shape. I didn't want to start Camden on that because it just seems pointless to take them off a bottle just to put them on really another bottle. So, basically I just put the sippy cup idea aside and decided I would try again around his birthday. Fortunately for me, Camden is a child full of surprises and about two weeks ago I started noticing him getting a hold of Carson's sippy cups and taking sips out of them. Keep in mind, Carson's cups are NOT soft whatsoever, they are hard topped, and have no flexibility in the nipple. I was impressed, so this week I thought, you know, I will make Camden a sippy cup of juice in a one of the hard topped sippys and see what happens. Sure enough he took right too it and is sipping like a pro! GO CAMDEN! Here is a picture of him during MID sip :)

Another big first this week was drinking REAL milk. This past weekend while doing my weekly grocery shopping, I remembered I was almost out of formula. I sat there staring at that can of GOOD START NATURAL CULTURES and its price of $27.99 a can, and I decided right then I was going to just TRY real milk and see what happens. I knew that at his 12 month check up(which is now less than a month away) his Dr. will recommend him switch to whole milk anyways. I weighed the pros and cons and decided worst case of scenario he hated it and I have to go buy a can of formula, that was a risk worth taking in my opinion. So, that night, I poured him his first cup of milk and just as I had hoped, he LOVED IT! No more formula for this baby, he is now an official Organic MILK DRINKER! :)

I saved the BIGGEST first for last of course. Unfortunately, I don't have a picture to share because it keeps happening before I can run and get my camera, but Camden took his first step this week! He is not walking, but he will stand and then take a step, and usually fall shortly after. In my eyes, HUGE progress though, and I have no doubts he will be walking by his birthday, which is quickly approaching now! Even thought this is my second child, I still am amazed at how quickly it all goes by. I cannot believe almost a year has gone by since I first layed eyes on this beautiful child God gave me that we call CAMDEN! :)

Ending this post with a cute picture I caught of the boys this week!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

We live in a sick sad world!

I am feeling very used, manipulated, sad, and disgusted today ladies and gentlemen. I guess I should start from the beginning.

When you start blogging, somehow(still not sure) you get drawn into other peoples blogs. Most are people I DON'T really know in person, but through reading their thoughts, dreams, hopes, lives, etc. I feel like I know them just as well as anyone! About three months ago, I was turned on to a blog about a young "CHRISTIAN" women, who called herself "B", who was facing a pregnancy with a baby who would surely not live. This baby had been diagnosed with Trisomy 13 and Holoprosencephaly. Dr's had supposedly told "B", there was virtually no chance of life and her best option was just to induce labor(around 33 weeks) and spend what what short time should would get with her baby girl, "April Rose.". As a mother, that tugged at the strings of my heart! I couldn't imagine dealing with such tragedy, carrying a baby in my womb only to have her meet Jesus before she ever really had a life. "B" had a beautiful way of writing. She would always seem to pour out her heart in her blog, some days being brutally honest and posting about how she couldn't understand why a loving God could do this, other days praising God for all his patience, love, and understanding during her difficult time, ALWAYS just asking God for his will to be done. Reading her blog was like a roller coaster. I'd cry some days when she would post about the baby's movements getting fewer and further in between, and rejoice with her when she would post about the Dr. finding the baby's heart rate in the 130's with no explanation as to why! I just knew God would be glorified in all this, and somehow this baby, April Rose, would be born alive and a miracle! The weeks progressed. "B" posted about how she had changed her mind and wanted a homebirth. She said she felt this was the BEST OPTION for her and little "April". She had 1000's of people supporting her. She even started a Wednesday post called "His Will Wednesday's" in which she asked people for prayer request and then shared them with her readers to pray for them. I was on that list, she had people praying for my little Camden's ears, I thought this girl was some kind of saint! Finally, 42 weeks, "B" has a friend post that she is in labor, hours later, "April Rose" is supposedly born alive, blonde and crying. Wow, was this a miracle or what? They write minute to minute updates on "April," saying things like "B" is nursing her, "April's" heart rate is dropping, Pray!!! It was constantly UP and DOWN. I was drawn in, I wanted this baby to live, I wanted this to be a "happy ending" They post pictures of this "MIRACLE BABY" and she looks NOTHING like a baby diagnosed with Trisomy 13 or holoprosencephaly. I found this a little strange, but who am I to judge God's miracles?.......I am sure at this point you see what I am leading up to? This was all a hoax. Yes, that is right, NONE Of it is true. How do I know you may wonder? Well, I know because "B" suddenly took down her blog, all her posts, the pictures, everything. She claimed people were harassing her, and calling her a fake. I was outraged. I thought, "How could someone be ugly to this poor sweet girl?" I wanted to find these people and let them have a piece of my mind. When I did find these people, I was totally shocked at what I saw and read. It turns out "B" was never pregnant, she has no baby, and did all of this for money. The pictures she posted of "April Rose" were really a pictures of a "REBORN" doll, that can be found on the Internet see? Picture 1 is the baby doll found online "Avery," Picture 2 is the pictures she posted saying it was "April Rose" her miracle baby

Then the "friend" who was actually posting for her while she was in labor, whose name is Raechel(I need to clarify she never actually met "B" in person, they were just internet friends, Raechel reached out because she too lost a Trisomy baby a year ago)publicly wrote a blog, along with two WELL KNOWN other BLOG Moms, Mckmamma, and Audrey Caroline's Mom, saying they now truly believe this is all a hoax, and are terribly sorry that all of "B's" readers were subjected to this.

Honestly, I am disgusted. I am sick with the thought that a person could create such a tragic lie and have people praying and crying for her with no remorse. I wonder how she could sit and read comment after comment left on her blog of people from around the world saying how much they admired her strength and how they will pleed with God to spare her baby's life. I am disgusted that she did this for money(she got money for hits on her blog), I am just confused! One thing I do know though, was even though this is one of the strangest things I have ever encountered, GOD was glorified. This girl, although maybe not what she intended, brought 1000's of people together in prayer, 1000's of people reaching out to God, and even had non-believers believing in God all because of one FAKE miracle baby. It just goes to show God is great, and what is the song goes...PEOPLE ARE CRAZY!

Sunday, June 7, 2009

A little of this, a little of that

Hello there,

Its been a few days since my last post, so I figured I would grace you with my presence! JUST KIDDING! :)

Guess I should start this off where we left off. Post surgery has been AWESOME! My sweet baby bear is now sleeping from about 9 p.m. to 6 p.m. without waking! It's HEAVEN let me tell you! We have had a rocky night occasionally, but I can almost bet it has nothing to do with his ears, and that is a relief! Here is that sweet boy now!
Red cheeks on the other hand, well they are a different story. Some days they are good, and some days they look like the ABOVE, but I am just trusting in time they will be totally healed!

This past week, after many months of showing him how, Camden learned to wave bye bye and PATTY CAKE! It is so cute when he does it that I just randomly ask him numerous times a day to patty cake! I caught a picture MID clap Seeing him learn to put things together is just so special!

I love the way he and Carson are playing more and more together! They wrestle around, chase each other(crawling of course) around the kitchen, and even sometimes share toys. Sharing is starting to become a big issue, and I think it is more due to the fact that most of Camden's toys are Carson's OLD toys. I am having to explain to Carson that we can share and everyone can have a turn. Easier said than done right? here my boys are playing the other morning!

My dad came up this past Wednesday. He lives in Ft. Lauderdale and has never met Camden. He isn't really financially able to travel very often but it worked out for him to come and I am oh so glad he did! Carson and Camden warmed right up to him, which I was a little nervous about. I wasn't sure how Camden or Carson(even though he has already met him several times) would react to this 6 foot 6 inch, 290 lb man walking through the door. I guess somehow they just knew he was family though and took a liking to him immediately! I am hoping my dad will be able to MOVE here permanently in the next few months and I am going to pray that God's will be done in this situation. It would be super nice to have him see his grandsons grow and be a part of their lives! I am his only child and so I am really the only family he has! Here is a picture of him playing with both boys!

Well, I guess that gets you up to speed on what has been going on at the GODWIN house!