Friday, May 29, 2009

At Last!

Well if you read my earlier post, or you know me personally, than you probably already knew today was Camden's tubes day! In the previous post I mentioned how poor Camden was food/milk deprived before surgery and he fiercely tried to chug a Tylenol bottle! Here is the picture of proof Pretty pitiful huh?

Well, we arrived right on time at 6:30. Of course we would of had NO excuse to be late since we had been awake since 3:30 this morning. Camden's sweet Meme and Papa were there to great us! Derek had Carson duty and work so he couldn't be there. I know he wanted to be, in fact he got up before we left and prayed over Camden! Once we were there and situated, they called us back and had me dress Camden in a little baby hospital gown(it was kind of cute if you want the truth of the matter) and took all his vitals! He wasn't too impressed with what was going on because by this point he was doing all he could to stay awake! The anesthesiologist, ENT Dr., and several nurses took turns coming in and telling us all we needed to know about what was going to happen! Here is Camden looking tired and unenthusiastic about what he has seen

Then the time came. Honestly, I think that was the hardest part. Having to hand your baby over to a nurse and watch them walk down the hall into an OR is harder than you can imagine. I thought I would hold it all together, but I could feel my eyes start to tear up at that moment. LUCKILY, I didn't cry. I reminded myself that this was an easy procedure, and that God was in control. We went back to the lobby and then waited. It seemed like hours, but really only 15 minutes passed before the Dr. came out and told me that two of us could go back and see him. I went back naturally and his papa too. Camden was still out when we went back to see him, and that was pretty wierd to see. Here he is, just after the procedure! I told the nurse he would probably sleep as long as she would let him because he was exhausted, but she assured me that wouldn't happen because she was going to wake him up herself! Camden woke up crying and irritated, but who could blame the little guy! He immediately was given a bottle of apple juice and quickly calmed down. I was so happy to see him awake and alert. Everything went just fine and I am so glad this is over. I am praying this is the answer to our prayers and that Camden is finally free to be happy, pain free, and antibiotic FREE! :) Here he is with papa chugging down his juice!

Thanks everyone who covered us in prayer and gave us so many encouraging words! It is so nice to have supportive people in your lives who are there for you in times of need! :)

Well today is the DAY!

Today is the day I pray my prayers are answered and my little baby bear gets some relief! Surgery is scheduled for 7:30 but we must arrive an hour prior to get prepped. Yesterday at the pre-op appointment, the nurse informed me that Camden could have nothing to eat or drink past midnight last night. Of course I know this is standard procedure, but I am sure a look of terror rose across my face as she said those words. You see, since Camden first started with these ear problems, he wakes frequently at night. Sometimes he can be soothed with some rocking, sometimes I can just put his paci in his mouth and rub his back, but often a bottle of warm milk is the only thing that can do the trick. Before bed last night I just said a small prayer that Camden would not wake and that we would both at least sleep until 5:30 a.m.! NO SUCH LUCK! Camden and I have BOTH been up since 3:30 a.m! I have tried every soothing measure in the book and no luck! Around 4:30ish I finally just gave up and now here we are! I am trying to give him things to keep him quiet and relaxed until we can leave! A few minutes ago I handed him one of those little baby Tylenol dropper bottles that he was so desperately trying to grab(It is CHILDPROOF, dont worry) and he immediately stuck the end that is sort of nipple shaped in his mouth and went at it! Poor thing, maybe this is the end of what seems like a LONG ROAD! Say a prayer for him today! :)

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I know the best is yet to come

When Carson was born I remember being "that" mom. You know, "that" mom that didn't want her baby to grow up, "that" mom that wanted to keep him little forever, "that" mom who wanted to cry when someone said the words, "It is going to fly by faster than you can imagine!" I am no longer THAT mom haha! Now, I am the mom who although LOVES having a 10 month old, baby bear who depends on me to do most everything for him, knows that the best has yet to come! Carson's age now, although sometimes extremely frustrating, is AMAZING! Not only do I love watching his little mind run 1000 miles a minuite, but the fact that he is able to express LOVE back to me is the most rewarding thing! Recently, Carson has started this thing where before bed he says "Mommy, I need mommy MWHAS(kisses)" and then he reaches out his little arms and hugs my neck tight! That small action right there lets me know that he feels the same love for me that I feel for him, and now he is able to express it! I am looking forward to having these same moments with Camden. It is hard to picture his little blue eyes looking up at me and saying "Mommy I love you", but when he does I know I will feel the most AMAZING feeling. A feeling almost unexplainable, like your heart is going to just burst because it is so full of love for this little person who is half of you and half of your soul mate! A feeling you only know when you are a parent:) So, for all of you moms that are "that" mom right now, don't worry it only gets sweeter with time!

Had some pics done of the boys! MAN, are they ever amazing! If you live around this area I definantly would recommend Carrie Reed Photography! Here are some of my favorites:Carson looking so grown up and handsome

One of my favorites of Camden

And this is my absolute favorite! My boys together

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Bless those who curse you

Well, I will get to what my title is all about in a few, but first I want to share some pics from our vacations! The boys had a blast and wanted to spend every waking moment in the pool. Ha, well I guess I am speaking for Carson, because in all reality Camden never TOLD us he wanted to go to the pool, but he sure had fun when he was there. Here are some pictures!

I was SOOOOOOO stinkin' happy when Kris Allen was deemed AMERICAN IDOL last night! Honestly, as much as I liked the guy I wasn't so sure America would choose him. Adam really was a captivating, and unique performer, and on Tuesday night, I actually felt he had done a superior job over Kris. I still casted my vote for Kris and hoped for the best, and sure enough he is the winner! No worries though, I have NOOOOOO doubts we will be seeing Adam Lambert EVERYWHERE very soon. That guy is BORN to be famous!

Bless Camden's little heart. He made it through this beach trip with MINIMAL ear pulling, but since we have been home it is right back to the same old thing. I am sure those antibiotic shots from last week have worn off and he is 100% miserable again! The last few nights have been restless and I am just counting down the day now until his surgery!

Now on to the title.....I have learned and am trying to learn a lesson this week. I recently had a situation arise, where I have come to actually dispise a person. I can't stand to see them, talk to them, hear about them...I know, that is pretty bad isn't it? Although, I completely feel this person has brough it on themselves, I have decided to pray for them. ITS BEEN HARD let me tell you. At night, before bed, during prayer I ask God to bless this person. I ask him to bless them financially, emotionally, health wise, spiritually, ect. The HUMAN inside me doesn't want to do it. I have to literally FORCE the words out, but faithfully each night I am making myself do this. Why you may ask? Well, right now I don't really know why. I had someone whom I really respect tell me to just do it. Even though I can't stand the thought of this person, I was told to bless them. I am curious to see what God's plan is for all this, and see exactly why he wants me to do this. I remember there being a bible verse saying,"Bless those who curse you" I believe its in Romans but I couldn't say for sure! Well Lord, here I am, blessing those who curse what?

Thursday, May 14, 2009

I Think Everyone Is In Need Of Some Kind Of Relief

As I look at the world around me, I see people struggling through all sorts of situation. From financial, to medical, to marital, you name it, its happening! Today before I start my daily routine of getting ready for school, I am just praying for everyone to have some kind of relief!

In our personal life, I pray that Camden gets some kind of relief from this ear pain until his surgery! He has gotten two antibiotic shots in his legs this week, and I am hoping this will hold some of that uncomfortable, non-stop, annoying(I'm sure) pain! His Dr. said this is the LAST antibiotic option for Camden, and if his infection still persists than before surgery they will just have to drain his ears! As of Monday his ear was still fully infected and no change was made! PRAY FOR RELIEF FOR CAMDEN! In a worldly aspect, pray for families who's children are extremely ill. Pray for those moms and dads who have babies in hospitals and feel there is NO relief insight! Pray that they find peace and are refreshed with a new sense of determination!

I think we ALL need financial relief! I don't think an hour goes by that I am not either hearing someone(including myself) talking about the financial mess we are in. I think I have gotten my RELIEF on this department, but I am praying for those who haven't! I decided that I fully am just giving it to God. Every month I stress, and stress about bills getting paid, but somehow(well I say somehow, but I know actually it is my overworking husband) they manage to get paid! I know this is God. God brings in side work, and odd jobs for Derek to do and they always end up being just enough. Just enough to provide for our needs! How could that be? Well that is GOD! God knows our every need, and when we put our trust and faith in him, he provides just as promised! If he is providing for YOUR needs, turn those blessing into praise. Pray for those who are desperately needing financial relief. Pray for those who aren't sure if they will still be in their home a month from now. Pray for those who have medical bills overflowing and can't see any way they are going to get paid! Pray for those looking for work, who at this point would flip burgers as long as they could have a job!

Who is in need of a stress relief from time to time? *Raises hand* ME!!!!!! I think LIFE, no matter who you are, can be stressful at one point or another. Maybe you're a stay at home mom, who's children can drive her crazy on any given day, and add the house work, cooking, bills on top of that... Ya you get the picture! Maybe you are a father, working endlessly to be the "MAN OF THE HOUSE" and provide financial support for your wife and kids, I know from seeing *one of you* everyday that this is stressful! Maybe your are neither of these, but just someone trying to get by in this world, with hopes and dreams and struggling to accomplish them...don't you need a stress relief too? Well that is exactly what I am praying for! Relief from stress, a moment to relax, a day without worries! Everyone deserves one, but it can be a rare occasion or opportunity to get one! Praying mine is this weekend, where I will be doing nothing but lounging on the beach!(Well almost nothing I still will be changing poopy diapers, fixing meals, bathing kids, hey, but I am going to be doing all that at the beach SO I can't complain)For anyone who is NOT enjoying a beach vacation this weekend, I am praying for moments of peace, moments of silence, moments of rest, and a few hours maybe out of your day with NO WORRIES!

Hoping whatever the situation may be that you get some sort of relief! May God grant you the peace of mind you are looking for, the financial support you need, or just a few moments without stress!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

A Day Made By God Just For Moms!

My mother's day technically started Saturday! My husband and I had already planned to get up early, go to breakfast, and head to Tallahassee(with the kids of course) to get Carson and I a bathing suite. Little did I know he had so much more up his sleeve. We did everything just as planned, we went out to breakfast and headed to Tally. I was determined to find a bathing suite for our beach trip next weekend and I was feeling pretty confident that I would find that "perfect" one! Unfortunately, after trying on just about every bathing suite Kohl's had, I was feeling unsuccessful and decided to give Target a try. NO LUCK! Again I tried on many and was not feeling good about the way any of them fit. Some were VERY flattering on top and not flattering at all on bottom, some showed off more skin than I was comfortable with, and some just weren't me. I was feeling pretty hopeless but my husband was not willing to let me give up. He dragged me back into Kohl's and made me try on more suites. Again, I came up with nothing. When all hope was just about lost, I happened to spot something on the clearance rack. A cute brown and tan laced tankini with cute embroidered flowers. To my surprise, I tried it on and it was a PERFECT fit and in total cose $23! That was all God right there, guess I truly had his favor! :)

We had a quick lunch and headed back towards home. Honestly, I wasn't really looking forward to seeing me house. Don't get me wrong, I love my home but life has been so hectic lately between my crazy school schedule, Camden's many Dr's visits, and LIFE in general that my house has started to get a little out of hand. It wasn't a pig stye by any means, but I had let it go a little the past few weeks and it was depressing to come home too! I knew I was going to have to spend a good 5 hours or so scrubbing tubs, toilets, and floors to get it back the way I like it. Unfortunately, I am running on empty lately and it was the last thing I wanted to do. Lucky for me, I didn't have to. You see, while we were in Tallahassee, my very sweet, and thoughtful husband had hired someone to clean my entire house, top to bottom and EVERYWHERE in between. I thought I was going to faint when I walked in the door. The shelves were dust free, glass was shiny, tubs and toilets were spotless. How awesome of a mother's day gift was that? I truthfully couldn't have asked for anything better in the whole world!

Today was ACTUALLY Mother's day. I won't sit here and lie to you and say it was the prefect day, but I guess it was fitting because it was truly the definition of what "MOTHERHOOD" is all about. My children didn't apparently get the memo that mother's day should be an easy day for mommy. Instead, I am thinking they just were confused and thought mother's day was in fact a day to show mommy how many ways she is needed. For instance, Carson's not so nice attitude today was his way of showing me he NEEDS my discipline. Or what about Camden's nonstop whining? Well that was his way of showing me that he is only comforted by mommy's love and snuggles. Seriously though, as much work as this day was, I still am so thankful I am a mommy. I am so thankful God picked me to raise these two little amazing boys. I am so thankful that I have two healthy(well mostly ha ha) kids that need me and want me, and that call me MOMMY! I am thankful for the snot, the kisses, the poopy diapers, and even the non stop crying. All those things are ways of showing me I am loved and needed!! Thank you God for making me a mommy! :)

Hope everyone had a blessed day and just remember how lucky you are to be a mother. Some women are praying day and night to have that one chance at having a baby. They are praying for that day they get to wipe a snotty nose, clean a dirty bottom, and rock a crying child as long as that child called them MOMMY! :)

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Tubes and Tee-Tee

Well it is official. Camden will be having his tube surgery on the 29th of this month. I met with the ENT yesterday(Dr. Swartz) and he was just as sweet as I had heard he would be! He came in the room and immediately started a conversation with Camden! We had a long talk about Camden's ears, and if you remember correctly about 2weeks ago Camden has developed another ear infection. Well, as of YESTERDAY he still has it. I had a feeling Dr. Swartz would tell me that because really there has been no change in Camden's behavior and that old stubborn ear just refuses to cooperate with antibiotics period. I am asking you to just pray peace for Camden for a few more weeks until we can get these tubes in to help get him relief! We will continue to keep him on this antibiotic(although I am not really sure why at this point because it is doing nothing) until his surgery per his Dr. Last night was though, he woke up 3 times crying hysterically, so neither of us is running on a whole lot here lately! Since this whole ear infection mess has gotten so bad, I have reverted to having Camden sleeping BACK in our room with us, because I want to be there for him if he needs me.Walking across the house numerous times a night seems like a not so appealing idea! I am looking forward to a happier Camden and more sleep for both of us, that is for sure!

On a funnier note, I caught Camden skateboarding yesterday...See?

He is so hilarious! How in the world he managed to get himself under our kitchen table and straddle the skateboard I have no clue!

Carson's eye is a ALOT better! Weirdest thing ever, I think it was all due to a mosquito bite! The reason for this is because one had bitten him on his back the day after and it swelled almost as big as his eye, hmm maybe he is allergic? I guess from now on I will be sure to cover him with some S.O.S! In potty news, Carson is making PROGRESS(THANK YOU LORD :) ) He has "tee-teed" as we call it, twice in the potty and I really think he is catching on. Last night we put him tobed and he REFUSED to go to sleep. He kept calling his daddy and I, and swearing he had to "tee tee" we put him on the potty twice and nothing happened. I figured this was just his way of not wanting to go to sleep, but the third time he did this we put him back on the potty and sure enough he DID IT! I am super proud and think that maybe this is a start to a GREAT thing!

oh and quick update on that precious baby Rylan I asked you to pray for-He is doing MUCH better! The originally thought he contracted Group B Strep, but after many tests they now think he has just picked up a nasty bacterial virus and hopefully in a few days he can return home! Thanks for keeping him prayed for! :)

Monday, May 4, 2009

Please Pray

About 11 days ago, my sweet friend Nicole had the most PRECIOUS 7lb 8oz baby boy named Rylan.
See? Told you he was precious! Well I am asking for your prayers because he has been hospitalized tonight due to causes not known quite yet! He has been very sick and lethargic for two days now and his stool culture came back positive for bacteria. They think he has more than likely contracted group B strep and he is currently in the IMCU! Please keep this sweet baby boy covered in prayer and ask our GOOD Lord to give him a speedy and safe recovery!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

My little monster!

So today when my normally handsome Carson woke up, I was greeted by a NOT so normal looking Carson. THIS is what he looked like:

Still adorable in my eyes, but defiantly not what I am used to seeing! I have nicknamed him "My little monster" for the day! We aren't sure really what it is. Guessing either a steye or a bite, but really not sure of either because he doesn't actually have a bite that we can see! It has swelled progressively worse throughout the day and it now almost to where he can't even open his eye see:

He isn't a happy camper! I don't think it really hurts him, I just think he doesn't understand why he can't open his eye! Poor little guy, who could blame him? In case you are wondering why he looks so mad in his picture, it was because he wanted to play outside! His daddy and I gave in and broke out the bubbles and ended up having alot of fun watching BOTH boys try and chase after these big, soapy, rainbow colored bubbles!! Here are some cute pictures I caught of them

Saturday, May 2, 2009

A little bit of everything

Well this post will consist of EXACTLY what the title says..A LITTLE BIT OF EVERYTHING!!

I guess we have to start somewhere, so lets start with something I am excited about, and that would be my haircut! Normally, maybe people wouldn't find themselves so excited about this type of thing, but when you only get one every 6 months it can be very worthy of the word! Yes, Yes, I know what you are probably thinking, "A haircut every 6 months? Is she CRAZY?" Well I have decided this will no longer do! When I walked into my salon Friday morning, I was feeling quite BLAH! I have been growing my hair out for many months now, but honestly I didn't feel pretty, I didn't even really feel cute, I just felt like I was sporting this LONG, no shaped hair. I explained to my hair dresser that although I'd like to keep my hair long(I like it that way, but my husband absolutely LOVES my long hair) that it needed some short of style or shape to it and TADA: this is what she did!
Ok, so I realize it may not look like much, but to me it looks like alot and I feel like a new women! I feel like my hair is no longer this long mess on my head, but now has some shape and texture to it! That has brought me to the conclusion that even thought I do want to keep my hair long, I can still go to the salon a little sooner than 6 months from now and keep it "shaped up!" So, props to CLAIRE because she does a great job!

In other news, Camden is doing better rash wise, thanks to NURSE(well ALMOST lol) Hallie. I doctored his little back all up with gauze and antibiotic ointment and slowly but surely it is getting better. For those who MAY not be aware of what I am talking about, THIS was Camden's back last Tuesday when he awoke:
I still am not sure how or WHY he had this crazy breakout, but I am just thankful it is starting to go away! We meet Tuesday with the ENT and I am more than ready! I know the antibiotic he is currently on is NOT working whatsoever! The reason I know this is because I catch my poor child clawing his ears in pain all throughout the day! I know he is truly miserable and that makes me unhappy so I am anxious to see what the ENT will have to say! It even got so bad thursday night while I was at school, that DEREK called and left me a voicemail asking what he could do to help Camden because he was screaming hysterically and clawing his face and ears! BTW that is NOT like Derek at all, he is usually the clamer and I am the worrying so for him to call me at school, I knew he was truly concerned! I think we are all just ready to get some relief and some insight on Camden's precious ears! Please just say a little prayer for Wisdom and Patience for the Dr I will meet with Tuesday, as WELL as for me! :)

As far as Mr. Carson goes, he is just truly a MESS lol! Potty training is going ok, but next week I have spoken with his teacher at school and we are BOTH going to hit it hard all week! I already bought him some pullups and gave them to his teacher and she has agreed to help me get this ball rolling! I figure with both of us working with him, he will at least see what we are trying to accomplish here! I was a little apprehensive to ask his school to start trying as well(especially since he hasn't even WENT once on the potty for me) but the more I thought on it, I realized if he isn't consistanly getting it from all people involved then maybe he will be confused and not realize what we are trying to get him to do! So that is the plan, I asked his teacher to try this with me all week long, and we will go strong at home too and if by the end of the week he is still showing NO interest or progress than we will hold off on the potty thing a few more months until maybe he is a little more ready. Lets hope all goes well! You could say a prayer for Carson to use his STRONG will to learn to potty next week :)
We took him to a FUN birthday party today and he had a blast! They had PONY RIDES and a BOUNCEHOUSE, how much better could it get? Here he is trying to figure out how to open the bubbles! It was just about the only picture I could snap of him, because as you could imagine he was going 90 to nothing ALL DAY!

Well that is all for now, but that was Enough don't you think lol?